What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this sh*t to a whole new level.
If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
What’s even better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being a retard.
What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn’t? Her navel.
Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.” The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that he’s had the same dream, too. The guy in the middle says, “Wow that’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing.”
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