Monday's memorable mumblings

Are u a sea lion? Because I want to sea u lion in my bed later!


I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?


I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.


Question: What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy?


Answer: $100 bill.


Question: What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?


Answer: A man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.


Question: Want to hear a joke about my penis?


Answer: Nevermind. It’s too long.


Question: What do you call a person who doesn’t masturbate?


Answer: A liar.


Question: What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?


Answer: “It’s not what it looks like!”

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