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"I have a very high sex drive": discuss.

5:48 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

For those here who are genuinely looking for meets (which may, in fact, represent a minority), I suppose it goes without saying that one would wish to portray oneself as being sexually desirable. Obviously, one way of doing so would be to post photos (perhaps with "mixed results" :-) The other would be to paint an alluring verbal self-portrait.

Clearly, in order to get prospective flies buzzing around one's dustbin, an image of barely controllable, practically insatiable libido never does any harm. Any self-respecting swinger is unlikely to be drawn to the prospect of racy innuendo over a pint of mild in the local, followed by a bit of slap and tickle on the sofa. Ostensibly, one has to be reeking of hot pheromones, bristling with rampant desire, and offering an inexhaustible supply of endless orgasms until dawn's early light and well beyond.

Perhaps to cover themselves for this eventuality, a large number of people feel compelled to include the phrase "I have a very high sex drive" in their profile descriptions. But what does this actually mean in real terms? Have the people in question submitted their average sexual performance to peer review by a scientific panel of professional sexologists?

I don't think anyone would argue that human libido covers a vast range. Some have the sexual energy of a snail, whereas others will appear to shag anyone and anything (even bicycles) at any time. Also, I don't think anyone would dispute that evaluation of one's own individual libido is extremely subjective. I'm willing to bet that if it were possible to interview a snail, he/she (being hermaphrodite :-) would also claim to be "hot stuff".

Which leads me to my point: Is it, in fact, of any value at all to claim one has a "high libido"? Aside from the fact it's impossible to measure quantitatively, there is a natural tendency for humans to view their own sexual attributes through rose-tinted specs: to place themselves at a point on the libido ladder that gives them sufficient self-esteem.

In addition, there is the old conundrum of quantity versus quality. It may indeed be true that someone is driven to have sex 15 times a day, but is that because his/her "per orgasm" level of perceived satisfaction is a lot shallower than that of someone who, say, needs only about one good shag a week, from which he/she emerges fully drained and contented?

Libido is likely correlated with many factors: age, genetics, mood, time of day/year, or the perceived attractiveness/chemistry of a prospective sexual partner. However, I would say that the most fundamental is the degree of individual reward and contentment derived from sex. If sex elicits barely a flutter of gratification, one is not going to seek it as actively as someone whose limbic system lights up like a Christmas tree, shudders to utter contentment and fulfillment, and ends up being squirted through a worm-hole in the space-time continuum :-)

Personally, I take all personal claims of libido levels with a pinch of salt. Everything is relative. It's always impossible to tell how anyone will perform, or how two people will interact, before it actually happens. Which is why I think "what I'm going to do to you" e-mails are hilarious :-)



Comments
6:46 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Thanks, Curvy. I think you're right in saying that libido does change according to one's life stage. I think when I was in my 20s, I thought about sex constantly and was probably wanking about 10 times a day. These days I tend not to be so obsessed, but when sex does happen it seems a million times more satisfying than it was back then, which brings to mind this "quality v. quantity" thing. And as you say - having the right partner is a massive catalyst.

6:50 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

This is a great blog.

I've often wondered, too, about the guys who claim to need sex three times a day and how they'd fare having actual sex (with any form of intimacy) vs wanking over whatever it is they wank over.

I also get asked a lot if I have a high sex drive, and, as this isn't a frequent topic of discussion (at least among the women I know) I have no idea how I compare. I'm curious to hear what other women say on this.

For myself, like Curvybird, the drains of daily life often drag me down. Being here and chatting has increased my interest in sex 150%. Part of my disinterest in sex throughout married life has been the emotional crap I get at home; criticism and belittling do nothing for my libido.

All in all, I think I am no longer a snail by human comparison, but find that a great session with someone I care about can tide me over for days, though I want more. Meaningless sex doesn't do a thing for me, other than instant physical gratification that doesn't last til I reach the car.

I've never had a normal sex life, I think. It's either all or nothing.

6:54 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

I'm was just about to skip to a new chapter in my 'One Hundred and One Ways To Make Blogs Go Off At A Tangent' book, but decided you deserve my considered view on your eloquently written and original blog.

I purposely don't advertise the fact that I am looking to meet. Apart from the fact that this seems to attract the crazy "I've got a high sex drive and will shag anything" crew, I prefer to have a modicum of discretion. Do I enjoy sex? Er, yeah: Do I expect you you enjoy sex? Er, yeah. It's a given and you do have to question the value of including it in a profile. It's like stating "I have a cock and know how to use it": I should bloody hope so mate you're on a sex site!

As far as I am concerned it has the same value as other commonly used statements 'I am a professional guy' or 'heavy and repeater cummer' and let's not forget the frequent 'love to go down on a women'. The list is endless ...

In my short time here I have come to the conclusion that the majority of profiles are about as useful as small cocks.

If some people have shit profiles, like mine, it's their problem. I'm enjoying my on-line friendships with some really sexy guys who have really crap profiles (you know who you are). Does it bother me? No, not really. I'm attracted to people, especially those that make me smile.

I suppose it's different for girls. We generally don't have to go 'hunting' through the profiles looking for something to catch our interest. Guys tend to make the first contact and therefore it's the first email message that attracts me, before the profile.

7:19 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

EG: Define "a normal sex life" :-) I would say that for most people it means something fairly dreary over a long period of time with a single partner. You may find you're a lot more "normal" than most :-)

Luv2: Oh....I was quite looking forward to having you sabotage my blog. Later perhaps ? :-)

Must admit found myself laughing out loud at your quotes from males, many of which are all too recognizable. My favourite is "professional male" (presumably meaning that he is getting paid to be a bloke).

As for that old chestnut "I can breathe through my ears", I think the majority of women would fess up to wanting sexual activity to move in another direction after about 3 hours :-)

Do you think there's an inverse correlation between profile quality and sexual performance? If there is, then I'm obviously doomed :-)

8:18 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Having now hastily deleted the professional man bit of my crap profile, I did attract a few negative comments on my first attempt at a profile from some of our bloggers (you know who you are) for what I can only admit was newbie naivety and a failure to do the kind of research which Skebbie suggests on what makes an attractive and engaging one. I'm not sure if my current effort is effective, but I don't claim to be hung like a stallion, breathe through my ears, or shag like a steam hammer because I'm not, can't and don't. Also, if I ever do meet someone and progress to actual sex, they would be in for a big disappointment, so I think it's better to manage a potential lover's expectations. Then, all things being equal, she might even get a pleasant surprise.

9:23 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Drew: There's nothing wrong with hinting at what you actually do for a living, without being specific. I just think the term "professional" itself has very little meaning. It seems to be a term like "executive": intended to elicit an image of puffed-up self-importance. Both toilet cleaners and bank managers are "professionals", i.e. they are getting paid to do work. I am a male, but I'm not getting paid for my services to maleness :-)

You are absolutely right about keeping expectations low. In fact that is my mantra on here. If you mentally downplay each new encounter, not only does it remove any performance pressure, but it often leads to very pleasant surprises indeed (as you maintain). I would have thought that half of the adventure with a new person is mutual development and exploration. If you have already decided and defined your sexual roleperformance beforehand, then it leaves you with a lot to deliver, and little room for the realities of what actually transpires.

9:37 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

I agree with Skebbie on the exploration part as well. Meeting someone new should be exciting, and a big part of that is discovering how you and she (or he if you prefer) can please each other. Life isn't a porn movie script. Well mine isn't anyway.

9:38 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

GDUCurvy: "Professional" may not necessarily be a turn-off, but as Luv2 points out above, anything that appears in a profile has very little intrinsic meaning. I hesitate to use the term "gullible", but you gels ought to exercise a higher degree of scepticism about what blokes say about themselves. It's probably a bit sad for me to admit that I can never look at a profile now without mentally dismantling it. I *really do* wish I could take profiles at face value, and I suspect that in the past, through my scepticism, I may have blown out a lot of people who were genuinely sincere. But I suppose it's an attitude that's evolved as a result of a decade on adult sites. Is that what they mean by "hardened", I wonder ? :-)

9:46 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Quality of profile Sexual Performance: Is there an inverse correlation?

Let me use a financial analogy: As the US Dollar depreciates, the price of gold generally rises and as the Dollar appreciates, the price of gold declines. An inverse correlation between the two? What we need to keep in mind is that the relationship between the two are tenuous at best; it is only an exchange rate and does fluctuate which means that over a period of time it may well display converse as well as inverse correlations.

Are you with me or have I bored you to sleep?

The simple answer to your question, in my humble opinion, is there is no simple answer, but clearly I am not as 'expert' at meeting people as some of you are.

I am sure there are many twats out there that can write a great profile that tells you all the things they think you want to hear and let's not even start on the photo debate, but my Gran always told me that the only honest people on this earth that can be trusted to tell the truth are small children and drunks.

As I said earlier, I have found that the first and following messages I receive more of an attraction. They either make me smile or they don't. The ones that don't get binned. I generally don't go 'hunting' for profiles, I just perv at photos (at least I'm honest about it).

Does having a great profile mean you'll have a great experience? Perhaps ... Perhaps not.

Luv y'all x

9:58 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

I can only speak personally, but I class my sex drive as high right now, compared to how I have been previously, but am not stupid enough to believe that at 41, my sexual prime has kicked in, lol, I think for me, it's more due to a change in circumstances, much less stress upset in my life right now has made me generally more relaxed, and am now devoting more time to sex, so am thinking about it more, again, my opinion is strictly limited to myself, cannot comment on how any indivdual is feeling.....
As far as a potential meet from here, more or les everyone that has been in touch, at least at 1st, insists they have the stamina of a porn star, and will make me cum numerous times, and there are only a few that have lived up to that, lol, not that I would expect it, but never take that seriously anyway, if anything, find it funny.....
But the more I am on here, the more I think I am in minority anyway, in that I am not really bothered about finding much of a connection with people, I mean the couple of times I have been to a sex club, I didn't sit down and interview them for suitability before we all went off for a gangbang, for me, some pics, a couple of messages and a quick meet to say hi is enough to see if I want to meet for a 3sum, but you could have contact with someone for 10 years and still have no idea what they are like in the sack.....
We have met with about 10 guys since we joined at the tail end of last year, so by no means are hardened swingers, but when we do have a meet, would rather it be a 3-4 hour thing with as much sex as possible, rather than a small bit of sex and 3 hours of conversation... but dif strokes for dif folks as they say

10:17 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Wilf: As I said: I'm not a "professional man" :-)

Speaking as a man of a "certain age", I concur that the desire is still there, and that I think about sex all the time. However, it is tempered with an acknowledgement of reality: I know for sure how many lady-friends I can cope with at this stage of my life, and at what frequency. And yes, I fully admit that I'm now old enough to be classified as a "dirty old man" because it's usually women about 15-20 years younger who attract me the most.

If I didn't feel sex relevant and fulfilling - even at this stage of my life - then I wouldn't be here. And yes - as you say - a lot of the fulfillment comes from landing a woman who is genuinely attractive, and who has decided you are worthy to conjoin with her. Life has few better things to offer.

10:29 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Luv2: Your concept of a "sexual gold standard" is an interesting one :-) I would submit that a few men (or women, as the case may be) on this site can indeed deliver their gold equivalent of what is on paper, and that they could perhaps be used as a yardstick. The problem is, of course, whether you are prepared to cash in your bonds :-)

10:39 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Horny: Given what I said about libido being subjective, I think people are entitled to draw conclusions about how horny they are at a particular point in their life, relative to previous times. I'm no exception.

Yes - different strokes for different folks indeed. I suppose I was never attracted to sex clubs or dogging because, unlike you, I really need to have a mental connection with someone in order to feel sexually fulfilled. ...Which brings me to what I was saying in my intro: perhaps it's a matter of quality v. quantity (?)

10:43 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

GDU: So you would dismiss a toilet cleaner as unprofessional???? Here in Japan, it makes no difference what job you do: the ethic is the same. You do your job conscientiously and take pride in it. I would suggest that the difference between people who are "professional" and "unprofessional" is their work ethic, and not the actual job itself. Some of the biggest crooks in this world wear suits.

10:46 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Skebbie..... I actually agree with you in principle, if I were a single person, maybe I would look for more fulfilment from my encounters, but having been with my husband for the last 10 years, in a very happy, fullfiled relationship, both of us see our meets, as nothing more than a ' thrill ' , a bit of spice, as I have said before, some people have spa's, manicures, etc, we have sex with someone, but if I were single, or on here as a married single, as most of the regular bloggers seen to be as I conceed it wouldn't be enough

11:03 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Horny: I can see your viewpoint as a couple. Obviously you have an understanding relationship, and as such you need to keep any emotionalmental exchange with your play partners to a minimum. Even though I operate as a lone male, my own personal life stagecircumstances dictate that I don't seek anything particularly serious. However, I enjoy sharing things beyond the bedroom, and I need that kind of affirmation of my humanity to make the sexual side fulfilling for me.

11:15 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

GDU - your analysis of the word "professional" is perfectly correct. If i might be permitted one observation:- for me there has been a downside to being a professional person here. By dint of training and professional experience I automatically poke holes in the written word, and therefore can be more dismissive of other people (and their profiles) than I should be.

11:29 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

BBGDU: Actually the grammatical semantics seem irrelevant to me in this context. I would consider "professional" to indicate monetary compensation for doing a job. I'm fully aware that many people associate the word with "skilled services", and I appreciate that. My beef is that it is often abused and used ad nauseam in both profiles and the world at large. And as I stated, it is by no means a stamp of trustworthiness or credibility.

11:37 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

MsGeil: Thank you for your support (of sorts). I rest my case on this particular issue, although you have obviously raised the bar re. the standard required for a "professional". (I would apply for membership of the Royal Society, but I'd never want to be in a club that would have me as a member. Perhaps that's why I dumped a well-known social web network for "professionals" earlier in the year: it seemed to be full of inflated egos trying to score points off each other.) :-)

11:44 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

GDU: Forgive me, but that was the impression I received. Sorry if I was mistaken.

11:58 am Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Skebbie, given the fact that we all have different expectations I would suggest that very few people on this site can deliver a true 'gold standard', but isn't that what makes this an exciting place to explore?

To answer your question: Like any business decision, the matter of whether or not to cash in my bonds depends on the value of the market at any given time. If the return on my bond allows me to reinvest in an alternative (but safe), more attractive and interesting market, then the answer is yes. If it is likely to produce a loss or indeed a break even scenario, then no.

Of course, I have the misfortune of knowing some unprofessional, professional twats (I so dislike that word), that would approach this very differently to me. They would invest in well-known and seemingly more secure markets that lack personality and sentiment. Where would the fun in that be?

Personally, I would rather procure perfume than groceries. The aroma of a decent perfume lingers long after it has been dispensed, whereas once you've eaten your veggies, you just get wind.

12:10 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

All I can say is. I wish I never read this. Complete noob! Hopefully my first attempt at my profile wasnt too bad. But if anyone would like to share any tips. Im all ears!

12:19 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

David, my son.....your sudden appearance had a surreal quality about it. Suggest you start a new blog or try the Forums.

12:30 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

MsGell - being a professional person (hopefully not a boring or stupid one) I made a point of not having a profile photo, to save the potential embarrassment of inapproriate identification. It has not been a problem. I usually email a photo and then chat.

12:32 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

I agree Curvy, it is a luxury not having to do the hunting although I'm not totally comfortable being thought of as prey either. As I said earlier, I have found that if messages don't make me smile they get binned so it really doesn't matter how great the profile is at that point.
For me:
Message=smile is step 1
Interesting photos step 2
Personal Interests step 3
Cock size (haha only joking)

A potential friend? Perhaps ... I think I'll reply to that message and let's see what happens.

At no point do I consider what they do for a living, what they drive, how much they earn etc ...

12:43 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

MsGeil: Well....amen to that, although I suspect the thrust (if you like:-) of my blog has already been waylaid :-)

GDU: My arse absolves me of many sins, but can you at least allow me to express my own (admittedly quirky - it seems) interpretation of this troublesome word? I guess we all have our own ways of looking at things. As far as I'm concerned, a job is a job is a job, and I hate the way that sometimes people use words as a cloak of "respectability".

Luv2: If anything, I prefer the word "twat" to "professional" because it is at least useful :-)

I think we're allowing our metaphors to run away with us here. The sad truth of the matter is that true gold is a precious commodity on these pages, and so I'd be inclined to describe the search for it as more exasperating than exciting :-) At least veggies are healthy, and they can sustain you, which is more than I can say for a whiff of something intangible and often wholly misleading.

1:48 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Roslyn: I think your last sentence says it all.

2:09 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

" At least veggies are healthy, and they can sustain you, which is more than I can say for a whiff of something intangible and often wholly misleading."



A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by little it grows nothing but vegetables ...

I select my perfumes very carefully and can take quite a while at John Lewis checking out new fragrances that may suit. When I go to Waitrose, I just throw any old potatoes and turnips in the basket as long as they don't smell rotten.

See, my point was to invest in something that you enjoy and brings you pleasure :-)

2:17 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Luv2: Carrots and cucumbers have a very useful shape. Here in Japan there's something called a "daikon", which is a massive elongated white radish about 3-4 inches in diameter and about 30-40 cm long. "kon" means "root" in Japanese, and the word "kyo-kon" means "massive penis". By a curious coincidence - as I'm sure GDU will testify - the Ozzies refer to shagging as "rooting" (i.e. it doesn't mean "supporting" a team or individual....:-)

So you see....even humble veggies are capable of bringing pleasure. Or as Baldrick said about them, they can sometimes grow into a "rude and amusing shape" :-)

2:53 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

FA: I'm not disputing anyone's individual interpretation of professionalism in the real world. However, on a site like this it has no meaning. Literally anyone can claim they are a "professional" because they think that label places them in the category or respectability. And then of course, going back to the beginning, there is that ridiculous expression "professional male" :-)

I fail to see how claims of employment status - real or imagined - can have anything to do with libido :-)

3:09 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Wow, Skebbie, thanks for sharing that veggie tip. Can't say I fancy it myself, but whatever floats your boat. If that's what they do in Japan, I don't suppose you can be blamed for wanting to give it a go. When in Rome and all that ...

A bit of friendly advice - If you're going to stick veggies up your arse, keep it safe and wash it before use or pop a condom on it to avoid getting whatever was sprayed on said veggie up your bottom.

Also, the old saying 'what goes up must come down' doesn't apply to veggies up the anus situations.

On the plus side, it's good to hear you are potentially getting value for money from your veggie masturbation. Once you have finished shagging it, you can always eat it.

3:32 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Luv2: Actually I wasn't wishing to imply that I was sodomizing myself with the stated veg, as I'm not gay and my ass is exit only. I only mentioned them in case you needed to resort to desperate measures next time you were in Waitrose, although sadly I suspect they won't stock "daikon" :-)

3:35 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Luv2: (PS) you seem to have inadvertently sabotaged my blog after all. I stupidly rose to the bait when you were discussing male profiles near the beginning, thus sealing my doom :-)

4:08 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

MsGeil: My fertile imagination is currently at fever pitch trying to visualize possible sexual applications for meat and fish. The word "fleshlight" crossed my mind, but clearly would not have the desired effect if used straight from the fridge. On the other hand, use at room temperature or above might pose health and safety risks in terms of potential Clostridium or E. coli infection, especially if recycled for oral consumption afterwards. Clearly we need to consult a "professional male" on the matter.

5:44 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

This professional has seen the fatal consequences of an E.coli infection - and I hereby advise you (the advice being free, gratis and for nothing) to have nothing to do with any of the E.coli family.

5:49 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

I give up! Hopefully that made sense.

5:58 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

Great so not only do i have a beard (wrong according to other blogs!) I now have to worry about my profile! I honestly have no idea if its any good but i don't think i have put any of what you have all said about on it. Surely no one is persuaded by a 'sales pitch' anymore after years of bombardment from every multimedia angle. Reading these blogs can be interesting but at the same time a soul crushing experience!

9:26 pm Thursday, 3rd October, 2013

"Luv2: (PS) you seem to have inadvertently sabotaged my blog after all. I stupidly rose to the bait ...... thus sealing my doom"


Mwahahahah I will sleep soundly tonight in the knowledge that I have caused you some mischief ;-)

12:36 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

I don't suppose I could wrest the wheel from Luv2's grip and steer this blog back onto its intended bearing? My little Odyssey started with promising beginnings, but I allowed her malevolent Siren voice to lure me off course. She knows my weakness for stubborn pedantry and brutally exploited it. At her feet lie the bones of many doomed mariners and explorers, who have discovered too late the dire consequences of a woman scorned.

2:09 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

I'd hate my blog to fizzle out on an erroneous conclusion. Some people are indeed great in the sack and others "snails". My point is how people perceive their own libido and how their perception matches reality in terms of absolute objectivity. I'm also questioning the value and credibility of self-proclaimed sex drive levels on profiles. In many cases, it's actually those statements and self-assessments that are "bollocks" :-)

6:49 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

In fear of being accused of taking the blog off its original course, I'm being forced into commenting on my own libido.

Firstly, I don't really like the word libido although not sure why.

Secondly, since reaching the age of forty, I have had the sex drive of a 16 year old boy. It's not always a good thing. I would prefer to stay in bed all day and have sex than ever leave the house. I don't have sex related OCD, I checked the symptoms on the internet three or four hundred times.

I would say that that probably makes me crazy, but I should make that comment on my own 'are you crazy' blog. Oh, just remembered that I can't because the guys are currently discussing tractors.



7:15 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

'Libido' sounds like some sort of carpet cleaner detergent.
I suppose that the ability to maintain and erection for hours on end (without chemical assistance) may be great if you are young, fit and possessed of boundless energy. Given the state of my back, knees and hamstrings, I don't think I would want to. Also, I suspect that, however adroitly the tireless member is deployed, the recipient would get rather sore and bored after a while. Quality not quantity is my aspiration.

7:26 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

It's OK GDU, I have a lumbar support and plenty of Ralgex.

8:30 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

Drew: "Libido" cleans a big, big carpet for less than half a crown :-) On the other hand it could also produce some embarrassing stains.

8:41 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

Luv2: The thread had moved on to booze last time I looked :-)

I didn't intend to force a confession out of you. This blog was intended to be a largely philosophical consideration of what "sex drive" really means, and how subjective it can be. I mean, for all we know, one man's 16-yr-old energy, relatively speaking, could be equivalent to another's 70-yr-old energy. We really have no means of objective comparison.

However, now you've fessed up to feeling ultra-frisky, are you intending to do anything about it? Also, when did these symptoms kick in?: was it before or after your domestic schism ? I'm just curious. (By the way, that will be 100 guineas.)

9:58 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

Hang on Skebbie, if you're not qualified to give that advice, then you can't legally charge for it. Oh, now, there's a thought! P.S. Doctors and Lawyers stopped charging in guineas long ago: so it's official - you're behind the times!

10:11 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

BB: I'm definitely not disputing that observation, BB. I'm one of the old school :-)

My background *almost* qualifies me to give advice, but perhaps not quite. But I'll say no more because I don't want to resurrect that annoying ghost of "professionalism" again on this thread :-)

10:29 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

Skebbie, if I were you I'd be googling Ghostbusters for contact details. I have no problem with discussing what it means to be a professional, nor the associated professionalism. I became a professional in order to contribute to society: money had nothing to do with my decision. Indeed, you will of course be aware of Sir David Napley's famous comment that a professional is paid in order that he may work.

10:38 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

BB: I'm not familiar with that, in fact, but I'm happy to take your word :-)

FA: I was wondering whether charging in guineas is, in fact, the true definition of a professional. But perhaps the least said about that the better at this juncture :-) I see what you mean about your earlier comment about having the client's best interests at heart.

11:20 am Friday, 4th October, 2013

Skebbie, I can explain the position regarding charging in guineas, In days gone by, sporting debts (typically the gambling debts of the aristocracy) were settled in guineas, and payment in this fashion was said to be the preserve of, and sign of, a gentleman. In those days, as only people from that class became Doctors or Lawyers, it was natural to charge in guineas. Over the years, as society opened up, one no longer had to be a gentleman to be a professional, but the snobbery associated with charging in guineas persisted. So, FA, have you always been a snob?

12:04 pm Friday, 4th October, 2013

OMG!!!!!!!!!!

1:02 pm Friday, 4th October, 2013

Wilf: Don't blame me, mate. I started this blog with the best of intentions, but as the "host" I feel duty-bound to deal with red herrings, and that's how blogs get transmogrified :-)

As I was trying to point out, we all prefer to think of ourselves as having high sex drives, but really there's no way of knowing that for sure. I would be prepared to say that most people using this site *do* think about sex a lot, but I reckon that is not necessarily correlated with "drive".

I'm certainly with you on the desirabilitydrive of the partner issue, though. And of course whether you can read each other's vibes. It makes all the difference.

2:08 pm Friday, 4th October, 2013

FA: Funny you should mention that. During the "bubble economy" of the 90s here in Japan, when people were prepared to throw money at anything so they could claim it back in expenses, I raised the prices for my services by a substantial amount, and that resulted in an increase of orders by about 15%. Go figure.

10:03 pm Friday, 4th October, 2013

FA - if I may say so, you do seem to have to have it in for senior partners. They bleed too, you know! I would say your attitude is unprofessional, but as Skebbie is evidently getting to be a bit twitchy about the direction his blog has been heading, I shall refrain from any comment of that nature.

12:24 am Saturday, 5th October, 2013

BBRoslyn: Don't worry - I'm resigned now :-)

2:50 am Saturday, 5th October, 2013

I'm so glad I was able to bring two people together on my blog. Suddenly, frustration about having it hijacked all seems so irrelevant :-)

7:33 am Saturday, 5th October, 2013

Wouldn't be the first time GDU :-)

10:16 am Saturday, 5th October, 2013

My oh my ... look how this blog has evolved. Skebbie, your high sex drive has travelled all the way from Japan to Liverpool in just two days.

Hi five ...

;-x

11:59 am Saturday, 5th October, 2013

Curvy - Thank you. I think. Or are you calling my profile effeminate! And is that a good thing. Haha

12:13 pm Saturday, 5th October, 2013

Curvy - Thank you beautiful.

1:02 pm Saturday, 5th October, 2013

GDU - a Hub wedding? The mind boggles! The after dinner speeches could be a riot though, especially if the mother of the bride is one the prim-and-proper brigade.

1:04 pm Saturday, 5th October, 2013

Typing error- sorry - should have said one of the prim-and-proper brigade.

4:30 pm Saturday, 5th October, 2013

It would be interesting to see how many wedding guests got together on here as well. Perhaps they could all wear a button hole on one side and their avatar on the other.

5:13 am Sunday, 6th October, 2013

Yes please GDU.

9:08 am Sunday, 6th October, 2013

Luv2: Finally.....a tantalizing glimpse of cleavage :-) Up to now your profile pics had resembled a cross between Amadeus and Eyes Wide Shut :-)

This makes it much more likely that I'd be willing to lose my trousers, irrespective of whether you have a sports car or not :-)

1:30 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

Yeah, I'm clearly getting a little more daring (not).
There is actually a body attached to my masked face - honestly.

**tip on how to lose Skebbie's trousers noted**.

;-)





2:45 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

As a late comer, rather than a heavy cummer, to this blog post and being someone who has been accused of reading too much into things in the past and therefore able to recognise the symptoms my view is this:

I agree that ones libido is high or otherwise should be viewed as being relative. I would interpret someone's statement (as I have in the past I'll admit it it's a fair cop) "I have a high sex drive" to in truth mean "I don't get it enough".

As for "I'm a professional guy" (something I can also be accused of stating) I interpret as "I'm not covered in crap and smelling like last weeks laundry at the end of a working day". There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a manual job to earn a living, I have previously done manual work and in truth found it much more satisfying than office work and given the opportunity if I could afford it I'd be back there now.

My experience is that some women find guy who do what I would class as "real work" a turn on where as others prefer a guy who wears a suit to work. It doesn't have any real bearing on the person and as MG states I also know people with manual job who are highly qualified and very intelligent. I also know people who work in an office for a living who are absolute fucking animals if you'll pardon my French.

As Curvy and Luv2 state, the women on here have the advantage of being in a minority with lots of choice (too much choice really I'm not sure how they get through the masses of email). The guys on the other hand can struggle to make contact, particularly if you haven't got a massive cock or a six pack, present company excepted there do seem to be some extremely shallow people on here looking for only those qualities.

4:32 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

Gerry, better late than never ;-)

That's an interesting interpretation and lends itself in well to the 'more you get the more you want' thought from earlier.

I think I said early in the blog, I couldn't care less whether a guy thinks himself as professional or not as long as he has what I consider attractive qualities and attributes ;-) I'm not that shallow - been there done that etc ...

As for "covered in crap and smelling like last weeks laundry at the end of a working day", I have to disagree. I work with a few so called 'professionals' who start and end their day smelling like this.

x



4:44 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

As an old fashioned sort of bloke, although I have reluctantly joined the ranks of the sans cravates for normal office hours, I still habitually wear a suit and tie for business meetings. Went to one last Friday where the home side looked like sacks of shit tied in the middle, a company director included. The actual workers, in contrast, looked very smart in their company polo shirts and work trousers.

11:38 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

"I've always taken the view that a decent suit and pair of shoes is good for at least one promotion ..."

Agreed. There is no confidence like a pair of new shoes, even if they are too high to walk in.

A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes. Christian Louboutin

11:39 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

Shoes, like knickers, have to be of a certain quality.

11:44 pm Sunday, 6th October, 2013

Skebbie, as your blog has already gone way of track, can I take this opportunity to ask a personal question? What the bloody heck are you sitting on in your profile pick? It looks extremely uncomfortable. I though it may be from a Japanese BDSM torture chamber.

12:23 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Luv2: Actually a few people have asked me that. It has no real significance except that it turned out to be the right height for making those self-timer poses and was simply to hand at the time. As you probably know, Japanese-style rooms have woven straw tatami mats, which require special furniture to avoid damaging them. In fact the object in question is an L-shaped wooden chair that one uses to sit on the floor with legs outstretched and with a back-rest. I simply turned it upside down so that I was well off the floor to take the pic.

gerry: You make some good points, which more or less support what I'm saying. I agree that women's tastes dichotomize into those who prefer City Slickers and those who prefer a bit of rough, so it really makes statements of "professionalism" on profiles rather redundant.

1:18 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Gerry - your understanding of what it means to be "a professional" is flawed. To be a professional means that one has to have a career in a profession: Accountancy, Law and Medicine spring to mind. Being a member of a profession means that the ethics of the profession in question come first: the job comes second.
Skebbie - I take the view that, this being a sex site, we are all on a level playing field, for which reason I make no mention of being a professional in my profile.

8:08 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Actually BB, I think your definition may be flawed. I'm no etymologist, but doesn't the historical meaning of the noun 'professional' refer to someone whose philosophies and working habits have been taught and influenced by a professor? So, a professional is the follower of a professor.

Speaking as one of the traditional 'professionals', who went to school for a long time in order to qualify to do my 'thing', I think some of us are just hanging on to middle class ideologies, where only the wealthy could afford a university education for their offspring to enter into eg law or accountancy?

Nowadays, university is accessible to all classes thanks to the dreaded student loan system and universities employ professors to deliver a plethora of obscure programmes. Graduates can now be qualified in fields such as BSc(Hons) in fly fishing.

So, like it or not, the term professional no longer applies to limited roles described earlier. Shock, horror, it's the 21st century.

;-)

10:48 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Wilf: That is pure genius: finally a quantitative estimate !! Unsure whether it's me or Dixon who would qualify for the honour, though :-)
Somehow "the Dixon Index" sounds more plausible.

11:18 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Wilf, you are right however, the word has much earlier religious connotations relating to the taking of an oath in the early 15th century. When entering the church you promised to follow the 'teachings of God' (they professed themselves to the church). God being the professor (teacher).
Latin word and I believe this is where profess, confess etc originate - I could be wrong.

My original comment "someone whose philosophies and working habits have been taught and influenced by a professor? So, a professional is the follower of a professor." still applies.

The upper classes in the early 19th century started to apply its wider meaning to the professions you refer to.

11:31 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the noun 'professional' didn't take on it's current meaning of 'one who makes a profession or business of any occupation' until early 1800s.

Word and meaning evolution ...

I'm not OCD, honestly ;-)

11:31 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the noun 'professional' didn't take on it's current meaning of 'one who makes a profession or business of any occupation' until early 1800s.

Word and meaning evolution ...

I'm not OCD, honestly ;-)

11:46 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Ok - now that Skebbie's blog is WAY off topic and even he is getting involved in what I would describe as the Great Professional Debate, it is clear that we are all going round in circles. We all have a point of view, and we will never all agree. It is a real pity that we will never all meet, as I would have enjoyed a discussion over a few (well, ok, more than a few) drinks.
Luv2 - regarding your most recent post - what you are referring to is Medieval Latin, and you need to be looking at the Fourteenth Century.

11:50 am Monday, 7th October, 2013

Luv2 - the posts had moved on as I was typing. Apologies for any confusion. The post I was referring to was the one where you discussed the taking of oaths in the early 15th Century.

12:30 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

FA "which everyone agrees include only law, medicine and theology." Not so ....

BB, our views clearly differ ands I may well find a text to confirm my opinion a little later :-)

For now, let's agree that I'm right. Female prerogative and all that .....

Is this a sex site or theology class?

I'm bored, let's get back to Skebbie's how horny is really horny ;-)

12:36 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Really horny is get them off NOW!

6:18 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Ros - well now, you want to talk about tractors? Ok, in the absence of Rigger, I would be happy to oblige. I think we should jazz his tractor up a bit. Suppose we added go-faster stripes, twin exhausts, a sports steering wheel; and perhaps a prismatic compass to enable him to find his top meadow. What I want to know is, would you then want to be seen inon it of a Saturday night?

6:21 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Her next one is called Two Caravans, but please can we not get onto caravans? Pretty please?

7:13 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Well Drew, as you're obviously a decent chap, I promise not to.

7:47 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Badboy, I found it!

"what you are referring to is Medieval Latin, and you need to be looking at the Fourteenth Century."

Like a typical woman, I won't rest until I prove my point ....

I checked the on-line OED resource to check that my facts are correct. I hate to say I told you so ;-)

According to OED (considered THE authoritative dictionary of the english language), the first recorded occurrence of the word 'professional' was circa 1420 (15th Century) and it referred to 'pertaining or making entrance into a religious order'.

References to the date 1420 also found in Medieval Religion: New Approaches, (Constance Hoffman Berman 2005)


Of course now my online reputation has just plummeted into the soooo not sexy category.

8:33 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Agreed, not very tractory, but I wouldn't have slept tonight if I didn't get what should be the last word. Mmm, perhaps that's what my husband meant when he said I drive him crazy ;-)

Anyway, interesting is the thought of riding on Rigger's John Deere wearing nothing but my Hunters and a smile.

8:36 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Bling up the alloy wheels. Assuming tractors have alloys that is.

8:37 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Ros - by the time he has done all that, there will be no room for the poor chap to get his leg over! lol

8:41 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Luv2 - you need to go back at least another century to see what was happening. I expected you to stick your nose into a history book, not a dictionary!!

8:45 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

Luv2 - once Rigger's tractor has had a rigger-ous makeover, even the factory wouldn't recognise it! Alloy wheels? But of course, we will provide nice ones.. Should they be painted?

9:11 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

I did stick my nose in the history book mentioned
It seems religious vows were indeed taken in the 13th century, but the use of the word 'professional' was not recorded until the 14th.

A friend, who has spent his adult life studying theology also confirmed this. He was my 'phone a friend' card.


NEVER dis the OED!!

xx

11:12 pm Monday, 7th October, 2013

FA, are you referring to tractor tracks?

Unfortunately, I don't own a copy of Gibbon's Decline and Fall. I'm sure that etymologist geeza down at OED checked it out at sometime though. ;-)


Wilf, just reaching for my calculator to work out my sex-drive score, but can't decide which index to use.

2:50 pm Tuesday, 8th October, 2013

FA: I was going to inquire whether the Ukrainian tractor book title you cited was the original or whether it's a typo.

2:50 pm Tuesday, 8th October, 2013

FA: I was going to inquire whether the Ukrainian tractor book title you cited was the original or whether it's a typo.

6:58 pm Tuesday, 8th October, 2013

Of course we're talking about sex drive. You can take your pick of driving to sex in a car, a 4 x 4 or even a tractor.

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