Maybe we're all bat-shit crazy

Dedicated to a crazy friend who may also enjoy Gnarls Barkley as much as I do.

Looks like Big Ed's gonna have company.

Good choice Ros.


One of my favourite 'crazy' quotes:

"Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake."

" .... but horses scare me. I am probably half bicycle now anyway."

A fear of horses is just a feeling; you can get over it. On the other hand, you really are crazy if you prefer a sweaty butt crack dressed in Lycra cycling shorts clinging to your seat.

Curvy, your blog comments are never lacking. Actually, they are usually borderline crazy so jump in, the water's warm. :-)

"I just wear normal clothes."
Normal ... In NW3? My oh my.


I was going to make a comment on the lines of "at least you can have a shag in a Lamborghini", but then I remembered that article about the Scottish guy getting arrested for having sex with his bike."

FA, a robot? I don't believe it! Robots have skill but no intelligence; functional utility bot no awareness.
Mmm. ...



A man buys a lie detector robot that splash people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner:

DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours?
SON: School *robot slaps son*
SON: Ok I went to the movies
DAD: Which one?
SON: ToyStory *robot slaps son again*
SON: OK, it was Day with a Porn Star
DAD: What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was *robot slaps Dad*
MOM: Haha, after all, he is your son! *robot slaps Mom*

Should read but, not bot and robot doesn't splash it slaps.

Please can someone tell me how to turn off my IPad autocorrect? Perhaps, I just need to start wearing my reading glasses.

OK, this blog has moved WAY outside my span of knowledge. I may ride a bike but I have NEVER had sex with it. The sore balls were merely a product of being crushed between me and my saddle for 100 miles. I have ridden horses on safari and frankly they are the most stupid, dangerous beasts on the planet. Strangely they too gave me sore balls. I may have an executive car but I have never had sex in the passenger seat. At least I don't get sore balls in that.
I think I'd better sign off. Enjoy life you mad mad peops.

FOM - a guy I know swears he once had sex on the bonnet of his Lotus.

Luv2 - re the guy who was arrested for having sex with his bike - my understanding is he was charged with being in possession of dangerous shags.

I'm not crazy. My mom had me tested. Bazinga.

"Let's be honest, when we are gone no-one will remember anything about us after one generation at most."
That is so true Ros.



I've often been been told that I drive men crazy. I don't know whether or not that's a good thing, but I'm bloody good at it ;-)

Any bend in particular FA or is this a euphemism for your WMD?

Flattery will get you everywhere ... ;-)


I'm not crazy, just very, very special and perhaps a little deranged. Who cares?

FA, on a scale of one to bat shit, I think you'd score flippin' crazy, but life is all about finding people who have a similar shade of madness.

Amour fou? If you think I'm crazy now, just wait until I get out of this flippin' jacket. These buckles are a bugger to unfasten ...

Bat shit crazy eh??

Well for certain folks here are comfortably outside what is laughingly called the norm, but I think that is more to do with what the norm is defined as rather than people here being abnormally hatstands.

I am not sure that having a giggle, speaking your mind, trying it on and generally feeling free to be and act as you like constrained only by a self imposed code of conduct is anything other than thoroughly commendable.

And if I may (and on behalf of bats everywhere) who gave anyone permission to accuse the excrement of these fine, clever and sonar-capable beasties of being anything other than necessary, functional and neat?

A bit like me.

So my fellow travellers may I share Riggers Law Rule No 7: If you are not standing on the very edge how do you know you are alive?

Rigger, you have an unfair advantage. As bats - and all parts thereof - are protected by law, it is difficult to criticise them, and I note that you compare yourself to them. On the other hand, i would point that as you are not actually a bat you are unable to rely on the same statutory protection and therefore would suggest that you take the greatest care when standing on the very edge, lest you become an outrigger.

Rigger, you have an unfair advantage. As bats - and all parts thereof - are protected by law, it is difficult to criticise them, and I note that you compare yourself to them. On the other hand, i would point that as you are not actually a bat you are unable to rely on the same statutory protection and therefore would suggest that you take the greatest care when standing on the very edge, lest you become an outrigger.

How the hell did I manage to post twice?

Wilf - we could perhaps design a crest for Rigger's tractor. It could feature a bat with crossed wings and a suitable motto:- "Rigger interfectus est" seems appropriate - what do you think?

BadBoy, that sounds suspiciously like a remodeling of the Bat Mobile: Rigger aka Bruce Wayne.

Wilf - if you have a look at his blog photo, he appears to be posing in front of one.

We can't stop here, This is Bat Country...

Can't believe all these chaps are perving my profile piccie....

And suggesting "Here Rigger is Dead" on the tractor motto!

Boys, boys, boys: bikes; formula one; tractors;bat mobiles; Ferrari; Lotus.

And you came here looking for sex ... ?

I bet most of you have still got your old Lego, Matchbox Cars or Hornby Train set.

" There is no genius that is free from the tincture of madness "
( Seneca,Roman Philosopher )

Rigger: I often look at bloke's profiles to gain insight into the "competition", for profile ideas, to see what lies behind the blogger facade, or to go through their friends lists, as the latter is often a good indicator of who is currently active on here. Don't worry - I don't fancy you, even though you *are* a Cumbrian ;-)

I have a Scalextric, but I bought it for my grandson for when he is older. Honest.

Fetch - ipsa dixit

BB: "Dipstick".....was that???

Ive been using this site for about a week. I can officially tell you all that your all nuts! Crazy! Bonkers! I think I'm going to fit in quite well round here x

Skebbie - no.

Rigger has a tractor in his profile picture. That is different to rigger has a tractor. Although, for the record, he does, just not the one in the picture.

I am glad I have cleared that up

Also Skebbie is correct - cumbrian through and through (although I have only recently drifted back after decades away. Therefore cider is pretty well unknown in these parts.

I think I may have scalectix somewhere, no trian set though and I thought even as a child that lego was pretty pants (and bloody painful to stand on). So if nothing else that means I am a chap.

Lov2 raises an interesting point - the notion that we came here looking for sex. Theres more to it than that I think - with a little effort sex is something that can be got in Tescos (also known as Riggers Plan B) whereas the sort of sex potentially available as a result of being here is many many times better (and you dont have to hang around to accidentally find yourself in a position to lug some unsuspecting MILFs shopping to her car)

So maybe although we are, indeed, madder than a box of frogs there is at least a modicum of method in the madness...

I too was a scalextrix child. I'm sorry i don't have any of that tho. However i do have a bottle of Ouzo which is prob 10+ years old that i will leave until i am desperate.

You SLEPT in the woods in Corfu Roslyn!!!!!! No-ones gonna believe that of a hot blooded 19 year old ;)
Aimes tu le cidre?

I had just fixed it (the tractor) and had my piccy taken with it.

Sort of Man the Hunter type picture - look woman! I have captured the John Deere.

Bound to impress.......

Many people coming to Japan for business meetings make the mistake of shelling out a fortune in the UK for a single malt to present as a gift to an important client. Over here, however, all western liquor brands are readily available, and at a fraction of the price, due to the very low excise duty on booze.

Japan is an alco's paradise. For those who aren't too discerning about what they swill down, most supermarkets sell Japanese "shochu" (a weak spirit about 25% alcohol) or domestic whiskey in massive 5-litre PET containers for the equivalent of a few quid :-) Japan is only expensive if you choose to drink cocktails at posh bars in Ginza.

Is there anything in this blog that suggests any one of us is sane?

Answers on a postcard please ...
X

Hope you have your pants on your head an a pencil up each nostril there Ros.

Sex is in my mind all the time, especially with one of our contributors (you know who you are).

I think I said somewhere else that these drinks are great in their national context - I worked in N Greece for a while and oozo was perfect after a very late and very greek supper (no-one went out for supper until at least 9.30 pm and then it was a leisurly affair). I drank lots of some fennel based liquer in albania etc etc. Brandy sours made with local cypriot brandy are the bees knees.

The problem is bringing them back to blighty where they transform from a perfect accompaniment to a lovely evening to a sticky foul brew that sits in the cabinet daring anyone to even drink it let alone enjoy it.

The on exception to this is slivowitz (probably spelled wrong because I dont ever recall any of the bottles I drank from having a label) the dangerously vile balkan plum brandy which was, in my opinion, entirely responsible for all the terrible goings on back in the 90s in the former Yugoslavia. It was, and is, bottled evil wherever and whenever drunk. I had an unopened botle given me by a bosnian chum. It will remain unopened.

Which brings me back around to the theme of this blog, and thats crazyness. I am happy to report that the ort of crazy here is a lovely, fun crazy. My time back in the balkan mountains reminds me that not all crazy is good crazy...

Oh and the S on my keyboard is a bit worn out so sometimes my texts are s-less

Heres a few that you can scatter about for yourselves

sssssssssssssssss

Too true Rigger. The six months I spent operating out of Banja Luka Mental Factory still haunt me now. Kosovo and Macedonia weren't much better. Brandy Sours in Limassol as the sun sets - now you're talking.

Rigger,

You need to get that s fixed otherwise you will be _exless ;)

RoslynCD
Je prefer le vin rouge (did I get the gender right lol?)

Among the vile brews of the world, I think Italian Grappa must rank in the top 10.

Lillith, re your comment about running around with a chicken on your shoulder - does it just balance itself or is it secured; and if so, how? Also, I was thinking of having you round for dinner so that you can meet my cousin: he's a shrink.

Rigger - "Brandy sours made with local Cypriot brandy are the bees knees" - your liver was on its knees sounds more like it!

FA: Interesting little anecdote. Although neat ethanol has a lower specific gravity than water, I suppose the fact that ice cubes don't usually sink to the bottom of alcoholic drinks means the average density remains higher than ice (which is less dense than liquid water). I might try a few experiments here to see if I can simulate that result with some Japanese domestic distillates.

Rigger speak white-man wisdom.

Here in Japan I positively look forward to my supermarket trips. While they're unlikely to yield any sex, it has to be said that they attract the age group of Japanese women that I find most attractive, so it's often quite difficult for me to concentrate on my shopping list.

Life has passed me by. I've never bonked in a supermarket (or a plane).

graham: Just place your order and I'll ship you over a tanker-load of industrial-strength Jappo gutrot.

Lilith - yeah right, whatever.

Sorry I am still thniking about brandy sours in Cyprus........mmmm happy daysimg src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

Sorry for the slow reply but the only reason i still have any Ouzo lying around is that it is disgusting!
Ros - There is never anything 'good' related to Ouzo except maybe that the bottle is empty.
GDU - Yep. That's the point. It gives me standards that I've never been that desperate! Rice wine is also a winner :)

I've got a bottle of toffee liqueur somewhere - gross.

Inneskillen Ice Wine is the most disgusting drink EVER. It's like drinking syrup.

Old lessons are always the hardest to remember. Drinking on a school night? Tut tut tut ...

Can I bring my bottled pink stuff?
I should really limit myself and only drink on days that end with a y.

Oh I should mention. Other supermarkets are available. Come to think of it I should try Waitrose for the best totty....

Porky, welcome to the blogs. I hope you realise it's all downhill from here on.
You do indeed sound a little bonkers, but don't suffer this; enjoy your craziness. We all do x

Porky, welcome to the blogs. I hope you realise it's all downhill from here on.
You do indeed sound a little bonkers, but don't suffer this; enjoy your craziness. We all do x

Porky, welcome to the blogs. I hope you realise it's all downhill from here on.
You do indeed sound a little bonkers, but don't suffer this; enjoy your craziness. We all do x

Oooer Skebbie, hope ur not thinkin of deletin ur photos coz a girlz gotta hav sum fun LOL, ROFL, PMSL.

Keeping with my blog theme, I find it all a bit crazy too. Perhaps that should read 'too crazy'.

G: I read your comment and thought, "holy shit!". Then speculated how The Exorcist film might have ended if a priest did indeed have holy shit combined with an enema machine... Gory in so many ways.