Top 5 Household Items

Mmm ... choices, choices in no particular order:

1. Vibrator (yes, it's a household item)
2. The smell of leather cleaner
3. Rolling pin (minus handle)
4. Fresh chillies ;-)
5. .......... can't think of another item that admin will allow

Drain cleaner? I can only guess how this would perhaps be useful ;-)

By drain cleaner are we talking plunger or chemicals?

Apologies FA, that one went totally over my head, Luv2's also it would seem. We obviously need to brush up on our serial killers.

I had several good times with a bubblejet for the bath, the kind where the motor stick to the bath, and a mat site on the bottom of the bath, and sends vibrating bubbles up through the mat....oooohhhh....gotta buy me a new one :-).....
also

vibrator ( a girls best friend )
back massager
hairbrush
feather duster

1)The ramp that helps me get off my front step in the wheelchair,
2) The electric hoist that helps me get off the bed.
3) The frame that helps me get off the toilet.
4) The lift that gets me off the first floor to the second.
5) The heavy breasted, blonde, female, Danish carer that gives me a bed bath every day!!!!!!!

My laptop
Stool to put my feet up on
Vibratorrabbit (agreed, Luv2, it's an essential household item)
A man to clean my house (there's no bigger turn on than a man who knows how to wield a duster and vacuum)
Bring on the wine andor whisky

Not sure if these can really be classed as household items but here goes:

Kate Humble
My old GPMG with 1 in 4 tracer
Any chinook
Rigid Raider Mk3
My beanie hat
That small, very fast italian car I keep in the garage for nice days
Kate Humble again (well foolish not to)
Swarfega*
Any Detroit Diesel
My swiss army knife
Jura malt
My gas axe
Some of Vettriano's work (not all...)
The laptop I suppose because it keeps me connected to you lot
Did I mention Kate Humble?
and some other things too.

I must just go and lie down for a moment .

* other hand cleansers are available

That's more than five I know.

But my plan is to combine them in various ways to heighten the intensity of the experience
eg

Kate Humble covered in swarfega wearing only my fave beanie hat drunk on jura begging me to take her out in the RR3 and show her my swiss army knife.

You may wish to try your own combination

Rigger, I am really surprised you didn't include your fleshlight in your list. A missed opportunity perhaps ... ?

Rigger you smooth talking bastard! You must be fighting them off with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Rushes down to the shops for a gallon drum of Swarfega and hopes a dinner knife will suffice)!

Rigger, please help! The man in the shop wants to know if I need ordinary swarfega, or the stuff with the gritty bits in?