Most people would regard spam mail as a bloody nuisance and some have filters to remove the damn stuff before it even hits their in-tray. I'm not talking here about on-site PMs from fake 23-yr-olds in Ghana ("Hello dear. I'm a god-fearing girl looking for a true honest man." Well love, you've certainly drawn a blank there.... :-) I'm referring, in fact, to items arriving in private mail accounts.
One of the drawbacks of having several accounts on adult sites, as I do, is that it increases one's exposure to spammers: eventually they will find a way to figure out where your mail account is and bombard you with adverts for everything from nursing bras (sic) to Peter North's jizz pills.
Lately, though, I've started to find that at least *some* spam can offer a glimpse of what is perceived by the advertisers as goods/services that are likely to tempt the average netizen, and occasionally this can be a revelation. I'm often flabbergasted that they would seriously expect people to respond, and even more dumbfounded by the concept that some spam recipients might *actually buy* some of the bizarre items on offer. Another merit of spam is its sheer entertainment value in terms of comic content, especially items that try to promote porn sites. Some of the subject headers are actually funnier than headlines appearing in the gutter press. Take today's little batch, for example:
"Big jug MILFS romp with virgin teen boys"
"Massive dildo schoolgirl fun"
"Lonely BBWs need cock too"
"Grow a big package today"
and (my favourite)
"Your love tool is set to thrill"
I was wondering whether people who regularly watch, or appear in the Jeremy Kyle show might be tempted by any of these delights. I certainly wouldn't be, but I must confess I'm warming to the sheer inventiveness of the banner headers, and thinking of starting a collection of the best ones. Would anybody like to help me out with that ? :-)
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9:37 am Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
Believe it or not, these have recently breeched my work-based email firewallfilters. They are irritating and I've never really paid much attention to them; just delete or send to spam, but when you look closely, they are amusing and very badly presented etc. |
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12:48 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
Luv2: Well....*thank you* ! for being the only person so far to respond :-) I'll be sad indeed if this blog sinks without trace because these little beauties are growing on me. As you say, they are amusing because of their sheer awfulness. |
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1:24 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
Curvy: *Several*, i.e. three including this one. You'll be getting me a bad name :-) |
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1:57 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
FA: Frankly I never cease to be amazed at how you always come up with the goods. Does this mean that you share my enthusiasm for hilarious spam? This is a true classic. Frankly I'm wondering how you have the time for all this. |
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4:28 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
wilf: I disconnected myself from there about a year ago. As far as I could tell, it was just a collection of people trying to make out they were big cheeses in the biz world, and had absolutely nothing to do with my own life. The final straw was when it asked me whether I knew myself and wanted to communicate :-) |
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4:39 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
Like Wilf, my spam filter seems to operate well, but I will start checking the stuff in there from now on instead of automatically deleting it all. On a related topic, one thing I have noticed is the increasing number of young Ukrainian ladies who seem to follow county cricket and offer to be my special friend every time I go to Cricinfo to check the score in the latest Yorkshire game. I never knew cricket was so popular in Ukraine. |
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8:17 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
wild, " ... Came here for sex, now discussing sodding invertebrates! My world is really going tits up!" |
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8:21 pm Tuesday, 10th September, 2013
So sorry Wilf, when I type your username on my Ipad, it auto-corrects to Wild :-) |
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1:26 am Wednesday, 11th September, 2013
Kinky: I share your enthusiasm for porn, which might account for at least some of my spam. But "nursing bras" ?? Still trying to figure out where that one came from. |
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9:28 am Wednesday, 11th September, 2013
Oh dear, some of them are really bad: |
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10:09 am Wednesday, 11th September, 2013
The worse they are, the more I enjoy them :-) |
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1:06 pm Wednesday, 11th September, 2013
Here's one I received today. |
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9:12 pm Wednesday, 11th September, 2013
Oh Curvy, I only followed the trail in the spirit of scientific enquiry. Honest.. Here are the latest examples: |
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12:29 am Friday, 13th September, 2013
Freshly baked titbits from my spam oven: |
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4:29 am Friday, 13th September, 2013
Drew: It might be a laugh if you actually *do* drop her a line and share your response (if any) :-) |
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10:18 am Wednesday, 5th February, 2014
I always thought this was a good thread (no I'm not promoting myself: you guys came up with the goods), and looking back now to the pre-Schism days, it seems rather refreshing. |
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10:23 pm Wednesday, 5th February, 2014
Ahh, just shedding a tear reminiscing about frolicking in the blogs pre schism. Sniff ... |
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12:46 am Thursday, 6th February, 2014
Frisky: Does that mean you have a stalker? I should be so lucky. |
