This is more of a question than a blog ...

Luv2 was this your correspondent with the 10 inch penis? There is a school of thought (where they have very short books with very few words on each page) that all women want a man with a very large penis which produces copious amounts of semen. It also rubs the noses of we normal males, with less impressive equipment, n the pooh. You can buy pills which are supposed to make you ejaculate more. As Kinky says, someone has to clear up the mess afterwards.

Actually the scientific answer is that the aqueous content of the ejaculate contains a much higher proportion of deuterium oxide (D20: also known as "heavy water"), deuterium being a heavy isotope of hydrogen, which constitutes "normal" water (H20).

Men producing this type of semen tend to have slightly longer and distended scrotal sacs, due to the increased mass of fluid they contain. "Heavy cum" is slightly more viscous than standard cum, which means that in fact it is more difficult to eject over longer distances at bukkake parties. "Bukkake" is a Japanese word that means to "heavily plaster with...."

Playing the biology card again eh?

Skebbie, thank you for that most interesting explanation. I knew I could count on you for a sensible comment, however I am further confused:

Firstly, 'deuterium oxide' ... I am wondering if there is a relevance to the Hebrew Bible* or indeed Eliot's poem and later Webber's production of Cats (Old Deuteronomy).

Are we to assume that Old Deuteronomy was a heavy cummer and because he was said to have 'lived many lives in succession', does that mean he is what is sometimes refered to as a 'repeater'?


Secondly, " ... longer and distended scrotal sacs". Does that explain some messages that say "my balls are heavy for you babe."?


And finally, I always thought bukkake was a type of Asian octopus.

FA, increased impact? Are you busy next weekend?

FA, better make sure the Pentagon doesn't get to hear of this. They just love DU weapons.

Drew: Well....a mixture of biology, physics and chemistry, actually :-) It's amazing how creative a bloke can become if he thinks it will increase his chances of a shag even by a fraction of one percent.

Luv2: I think FA is the one to consult about literature; but as far as heavy balls are concerned, they may also contain tritium, which is an even heavier isotope of hydrogen :-)

FA may find himself a target of regime change if he is indeed harboring WMDs.

My trouble isn't learning things, it's being able to trot them out at the opportune moment. Forget my own name if it wasn't sewn in the back of my shreddies.

Oh....at this point it's probably worth mentioning that (naturally) Dixon produces a veritable tsunami of heavy cum, resembling the result of a hand grenade being thrown into a bill-poster's bucket.

'A hand grenade being thrown into a bill posters bucket!'

Just snorted a mouthful of tea down my nose!

Skebbie, that has to be the best quip I've ever heard. Thanks fella cheered me up no end.

I was once invited - in the run up to one of those encounters colloquially known as a "meet" - to take a two week course of zinc in order to delight the lady concerned with the resulting volume and consistency.

I admit to bottling out in Holland and Barratt (I was convinced they would know what I was up to) and buying some herbal something or other which promptly ended up in the bin as I left.

As it happens all went well and the normal half a teaspoon seemed to be admired anyway.

I never did look up the side effects of a zinc overload but my gues is that there is zinc and there is zinc.

"zinc in order to"

" ... produces a veritable tsunami of heavy cum"

Internet connection problems across the UK are now being experienced due to the number of messages being sent to Skebbie's inbox.

:-)

Jonnealas, A phone app ... WTF!

So infantile :-) Tee hee hee

On the positive side, I notice he's Canadian which gets a bonus point from me and the guy on the sofa drinks Grey Goose.

Just got back in and the thought occurred "I zinc therefore I am". Sorry, couldn't resist it.

OK, I think I'm starting to get it. I've always known I'm crap at "increasing my chance of a shag - even by 1% - thanks Skebbie". But now I have some role models that know exactly what they're doing. Had I tried the scientific approach I'd have sounded about as sexy as Sheldon! But Fallingangel, Skebbie and the others are in another league! Conversely everything Lov2 says makes me want to find that extra "1%". I shall watch and learn. Thanks all!!!!

PS, I've always wanted to write a blog to which I can attach one of these sexy avatars (see below). How come they never seem appropriate for what I've written. If someone wants to give me a one liner to which my response will inevitably require such an avatar I'd be eternally grateful :)img src="imagesadultemoticons016.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons011.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" etc

FOM, how about:

"I promise never to use these absurd dancing pictures in the blogs ... EVER!"


Works for me :-)

I promise never to use these absurd dancing pictures in the blogs ... EVER!

Another lesson learned :) And I feel less inadequate lol

Hey Darren, long time no blog speak. :-)

" ... I still cum heavy." What are we talking here; twice or three times the normal amount?

I Googled it like you suggested. I found an advert for the phone app where you can splash onto faces in your photos. Is that what you meant?

That sounds fun

But doesn't your 'phone get all sticky?

Wow, this Peter North is a revelation!!!!

well, that's 'progress' for you I guess

maybe I should ditch the Luddite tendencies after all these years then

Masterand, you don't carry a treasured smart phone in your trouser pocket then?

more of a house brick here although I have forked out major sums in the past with several of the Exes to sort them a smart phone. i feel enlightened at long long last!

Thanks for your comments so far, but I'm wondering if the girls actually really do find it a turn-on.

Oh dear, it's one of those pics :(

The gals seem very quiet on this subject.

To be honest Darren, the thought of an extra large portion of cum isn't on my list of things that turn me on (er, if I had a list that is).

I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy it, wherever it may land, but the quantity is irrelevant.

As Kinky said earlier ... Who gives a shit?

Curvy, I know it's a cliche, but the thought of a fireman holding his gushing hose is definitely on my list of turn-ones.

:-)

Hey Gilli, at last another female view lol

Was Mr North not from before the 90s?

My zinc addled brain can't remember

And Lov2 raises an interesting pint. In that there is no British or even Euro standard it is difficult to know when light rain becomes a heavy shower in regard to lovejuice. I think the eurocrats have missed a trick here and I should probably write to Brussels to ask then to stop fecking around with banana curvature and get straight onto it. That way everyone will know where they stand.

They could also turn an all expenses paid eye to the question of "stayer" "repeater" and "oral to completion".

And metricationstandardisation of willy dimensions would be a bloody good thing too.

Now wheres the address of my MEP???

An interesting pint???

FFS Riggs anyone would think you had spent the day at a real ale festival....

Rigger, you are on a roll. Real ale clearly agrees with you ;-)

" ... to the question of "stayer" "repeater" and "oral to completion". I agree, we certainly need some agreed definition of this and perhaps some volunteers to post video demonstrations ;-)
Apologies that lacked taste, but who cares.

As for Skebbies combined scientific analysis and an explanation of deuterium oxide above, I'm still curious about whether or not there is any connection to TS Elliot's Old Deuteronomy (Webber's Cats) and the Hebrew Bible.

Anyone?

Hebrew bible? was that a handout at rigger's real ale festival?

Safety goggles. £3.99 at Homebase.

"It's amazing how creative a bloke can become if he thinks it will increase his chances of a shag even by a fraction of one percent."

Obviously Mr North "the Cumshot King" is more creative than average. I suppose every bloke has to have an angle.

Rigger: Of course everyone knows that Cumberland Sausage is the longest, thickest and meatiest in the UK. I definitely agree that there is a case for official recognition by the Euro standards commissioners. Clearly, allowing cheap substitutes and sausage piracy would be doing a great disservice to consumers.

Kinky, " ... My current biggest turn offfear: cum in my eye."

Not bothered where it goes just as long as it doesn't go in my hair. It's a nightmare to comb out.

Masterand, the 5th book of the Hewbrew Bible is called Deuteronomy. I really didn't make it up ;-)

Luv2: Thought I'd put you out of your misery :-) You are right about Deuteronomy, which means literally "second law" (ergo, *second* isotope of hydrogen), but the name is actually a *mistaken* Greek translation of the original Hebrew, and thus has no real meaning, so god knows why someone wanted to name a "long-staying heavy repeater" cat after it. (The latter sentence is now in the running for the 2013 "Most bizarre blog statement" award.)

jon: I think cum being splashed on secretary's glasses is a kind of popular fetish - at least based on what is circulating in the Japanese porn world currently :-)

I didn't get much sleep last night pondering the mystery: the association of a Hebrew Bible, a 20th century american playwright, felines with distended scrotal sacs and the chemical composition of semen.

Finally, I will now be able to move on and find something else to occupy my mind.

With a little help from friends, I can now draw this conclusion:

Deuteronomy: fifth book of Hebrew Bible and 'second Law'
Deuterium oxide: The second isotope of hydrogen (also known as 'heavy water'), found in the aqueous content of ejaculate
Deuteronomy: an ancient but wise old cat; magistrate of the Law who lived many lives in succession

I do believe Eliot (1888-1965) had a naughty sense of humour and had indeed intended his ancient but most wise character to be a 'heavy repeater'. Unknown to many, this may explain why, the verse of his poem reads:

Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!


Clearly no safety goggles worn ...

Cor, Kinky. I will now have to go and have a cold shower.

I thought ora Batty was known for her stockings Olivers.

Amen

FA, "I look forward to a new annotated edition of Eliot by Luv, as I feel certain that it would make quite an impact."

It most certainly would make an impact! The TSEliot Society of Americal would hunt me down and I would spend forever more sleeping with my eyes open.


Judging Distances:
Such wise words from English poet
Not only for judging distances, but also for judging or perceiving just about anything. Remember folks: You can never be too sure about this world and nothing is certain. We would all do well to consider this when enjoying the delights this site offers.

Don't you just love the blogs?

Where else would you expect to travel the distance between heavy cumming and the delights of western poetry?

:-)

In my case the distance is more like five and a half years, but hey, who's counting.

Maybe we should resurrect my glasses blog :-)

"I'm easily swayed by flattery"

I can be quite an outrageous flatterer at times. But only if I have an ulterior motive ;-)

And nobody noticed my avatar has been wearing glasses for the last couple of weeks :-)

For reading ... not eye protection.

" ... I do have a very nice sexy secretary outfit, with some nice glasses as well"
" ... I think cum being splashed on secretary's glasses is a kind of popular fetish"


For reasons known to some, I'm rather curious about this 'secretary fetish': I'm not sure I get it.

Why do guys think shagging a secretary is so good?

Better yet - without her actually noticing

Rigger, just peeked at your profile; ahem ... Large!

How could she not notice?

This is clearly the most creative and random blog on this site. Loving it.

I still don't get it. Secretaries are cheap, mean-stealing whores who make shitty coffee and writes poorly written letters.

I'm not bitter ...

*. That should read man-stealing whore.

I'll say it again. 'MAN-STEALING WHORE!!

That feels sooo good :-)

Midseover, you have raised an interesting point here. The phrase 'heavy cummer' could indeed be an indication of a guy's physique.

I will forever more be reminded of this when ordering an extra hot skinny latte from Starbucks.

Perhaps, but I'm sure Curvy may have a thing or two to say about it. However, she may view the prospect differently if you could manage to persuade George Clooney to dress up as the fireman.