The Days of Wine and Roses

It's no great surprise (& as it says clearly on the tin) my SOH has been deemed questionable. I think the final straw was my suggesting the Wombles were gay icons. Not having ever read the terms & conditions through thoroughly I obviously missed the clause covering small mammals from South London.

I'll maybe also have to steer clear of moles, rats and badgers; bears from Peru; rabbits (there's a lot of these, but then they do have a reputation for multiplication). Won't step a foot into hundred acre wood... tread on the cracks in there, you get fucked up by some badass bears.

Leaves me a bit lost for words really. Um... hmmm. er...

(aside)... was Great Uncle Bulgaria really everybody's uncle, or was he their "uncle"?

Oh yes, now I remember why I'm wasting both your and my time doing this. Knob shots. Much as I respect everybody's right to wave the old todger around , stick it through letterboxes, beat small vermin to death with it (as long as you tell the RSPCA it was quick and the blow was to the head), run a flag up it, whatever, I personally will not be joining in the trend. My reasoning is not down to shame or insecurity, it's that I would rather leave a sense of expectation and antici.....pation in the observer. It's a bit like opening all your presents before xmas - kind of takes away that shiver that comes with experiencing something for the first time. Similarly, coke cans up my butt will not available to see in the gallery, mainly cos they don't fit.

I'm off on holiday for a fortnight next week (If you're looking to burgle the house while I'm away be careful of the fourth stair from the top, it creaks like a granny's flange), so unless I can find wifi I'm going to be on 3G. That'll keep the dodgy diatribes to a minimum.

& remember folks, if you're drinking and driving, don't forget where you left the car.
S x

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