Having Heather a 17 yr journey into BDSM

Episode 1 “Crullers, coffee, and Heather”


It had been almost 7 months since Kathy died. For the most part of that time I had secluded myself into the warm comfort of my bedroom. I had a huge house, and there was much I could have been doing, but instead I had curled up in the comfortable womb I had created in my bedroom.


It was in this room that I had last held Kathy’s hand as she succumbed to the cancer that had become ours over the last 11 months and watched her slip quietly away forever. To say that this experience had fucked me up would be an understatement. I took it hard, I took it personally, and I fluctuated between being depressed, confused, and angry. And I stayed that way for the entire 7 months. I slept a lot, and in the few hours I was awake I did a variety of activities to try and occupy my mind. None of them worked, I would always end up staring at a page of a book or puzzle only to realize that my mind was somewhere else, somewhere dark. Eventually I would fall back asleep only to wake up a few hours later, glance over at the empty spot beside me on the bed, and have reality come flooding back over me again. My only solace was sleep, and I would always go back to sleep eventually.


This morning I woke up with a craving for a cruller. I had been ordering out for a long time, but I was only 3 blocks from my favorite place, for crullers and it seemed to be a bright sunny morning, so I slipped on my pants, threw on a shirt, and headed out for my first walk in the sun since the day the sun a had left with Kathy.


“Damn”, I muttered under my breath when I saw the line almost out the door with people that had the same idea as me. These crullers are worth waiting in line to get, and that’s what I did. The line didn’t move as fast as I had hoped, there’s always that person that wants to think on their doughnut choices only after the lady behind the counter asks for their order.


I had been scoping out the seating as I was in line, and there wasn’t any. The doughnut shop only has 6 tables, and they were all quite full. That situation didn’t improve in the time it took me to work up to the front of the line, had ordered and received my two crullers and a coffee with extra cream and now was looking for a place to sit my cup and little pink box that contained my precious cruller purchase.


Then I noticed a table by the door where an older, matronly looking woman was getting ready to leave. I also noticed that there was still a lady at the table that was not leaving, and by the way there was no conversation exchange between the two women as the older lady left the table, I deduced they were not together. The lady that remained at the table had her back to me, and as I approached the table also noticed that her long brownish hair was rather unkempt but appeared to be clean. She had her head lowered and was looking into her coffee cup, which appeared to be empty.


“May I set here for a minute also” I said; as I rounded the corner of the table and for the first time looked full onto her.
She looked to be in here early 20’s was rather slim and wearing a green floral blouse, and jeans. Both appeared that she had slept in them.
She kept her eyes down on her empty cup, and just motioned at the booth seat across from her, which I interpreted as an invitation to sit.


All while I was unboxing my sweets and mixing the creamers into my cup, then waiting for it to cool a little and eventually consumed one of my treats she never made a sound. She didn’t look up from her cup until a car in the parking lot slammed on the brakes emitting a loud squeal. As she briefly raised her gaze to glance out the front window the sun highlighted dried tear marks trailing down her cheeks. I also noticed that she had one slightly lazy eye, but she avoided eye contact with me, and immediately lowered her gaze again.


She wore no make-up and although I wouldn’t describe her as stunning, she was pretty, and she had cute features otherwise.
“May I get you another coffee” I asked,
And after a few seconds she only shook her head.
“I can’t eat this other doughnut”; I lied. “Would you care for it”?
Again she only shook her head “no”.


I certainly was not ‘on the make’; I had no intentions at all for this young girl other than sharing a table but…
“My name’s Doug”; I heard come out of my mouth, “What’s yours”?
Now, for the first time, she looked up at me, and in a small, almost whispers, she said her first word to me.
“Why”; she asked.


I couldn’t believe that instead of a name she gave me a question.


“Well, I’m told I was named after General Douglas MacArthur”, I offered back hoping that a little humor might help this awkward situation a bit.
For a fraction of a second I saw her grin but just with the left side of her mouth. That humor didn’t even give me a whole smile. I thought my attempt at humor deserved a little more but let it go.


“If you would rather be alone I can find a different table”; I said, glancing back over my shoulder and seeing all the tables occupied.
She shrugged her shoulders, but offered nothing else.
“Okay”; I whispered under my breath, and started gathering my napkin, and box in one hand. Standing up I started to reach back for my coffee….
“No, I mean you can stay heah, its ok”; she said softly.
I didn’t really completely understand exactly what she had said but I sat back down, and took a long slow sip of my coffee.
Wow, I thought, a full sentence. She spoke with an accent that I didn’t recognize. It was different, but not any sort of an accent I had ever heard before. It wasn’t foreign it was mostly just really different.




Episode 2 - The story of now.


After several more minutes of silence from her side of the table, I offered;
“I pick up that you are sad this morning”
Then she did something I had not really expected.
She shot back at me in a tone that I interpreted as contempt.
“NO SHIT”
Now this reply did not come with her gazing into her empty cup, instead she jerked her head up and looked directly at me. I saw for the first time a stronger emotion from the unknown woman.
I think I blinked when she replied, and she held her gaze into my eyes just long enough to notice.
She shook her head as she again lowered her gaze…
“No, I’m sorry” she whispered.
Again a long silence from her.


“Would you like to talk about it” I offered
And after a few seconds pause she said;
“Why”?
“Well, because I care” I questioned.
Again she raised her gaze to speak;
“You don’t even fucking know me”
“Okay, that’s true I guess, but that’s partly because you never did tell me your name, and maybe also partly because we just met a half hour ago…” I replied.
“And even more, because you are a human being, and I can tell that you’re sad, and maybe just talking might help you feel better”
“Is that reason enough”; I questioned.
Again came the long pause from her, probably lasting a full 2 minutes. Her gaze still into the cup and in a small, almost pathetic voice she said;
“Heathah”
Not understanding what she had just said;
“Pardon me”?
“Heathah” she replied in a bit stronger voice this time.
I still didn’t get what this frail woman was saying to me, but I nodded my head and said;
Oh, okay”
I sipped the last of my coffee, and waited
“H-E-A-T-H-E-ahh, Heather”
“That’s my name”
I immediately thought, this poor creature was given a name that she can’t even pronounce, what kind of a cruel joke of nature and circumstance allowed this to happen.
“That’s a pretty name”; I said
“Yeah” she said, but not in agreement more like abhorrence.


“Do you mind if I sit my things on your table a second while I get my coffee ready”


I looked up to see and elderly lady with one of those pull along rolling baskets in her tow, and a little pink box with a cup balanced precariously on top in the other hand.


I instinctively stood up, gathered up our empty cups and my little pink box with the last cruller still inside, and said to the lady at our tableside;
“Certainly, we were just leaving” and without waiting for approval from Heather, I offered my hand to her.
She stood up and moved to my side as the elder woman scooted into our booth.


Episode 3 – The scenic route to the house.


Once outside I put out my arm and gestured at a park bench in I small island of trees just about 100ft. away, and said;
“We could go over there and sit and talk some more”; I offered
And then, after no response from Heather, I added
“Or I could call you a taxi to take you home or wherever”
And I waited


Finally she responded;
“I don’t want to sit anymore, I need to walk”


“Well I’m happy to call that taxi for you”; I said again.
“I am happy to do that for you”


“No, I don’t want to sit anymore, I want to walk, and besides I have nowhere to taxi to anyway”; she said almost mocking me.


“Oh, yeah, umm, alright, … what direction are you heading Heather, maybe I could walk you somewhere.” I questioned


“I don’t have a direction, Douglas”; she said
Two things jumped out at me from her response. First she remembered my name, and secondly no truer words were ever spoken, she didn’t have a direction.


“It’s a beautiful morning, let’s just walk for a spell, and if you later decide you can ride, I’ll even call that cab for you and I’ll put it on my tab with the taxi company.
So we set off together, and sort of by habit I headed towards my house.
“Heather, I am more than happy to listen to what’s troubling you”; I started with


“I think I’m probably about 30 years older than you, and a person can’t be around that much longer than yourself without picking up some insights on people.” I said


Still there was nothing from Heather, so we walked along in silence.
I made idle conversations along the way pointing out a few of the sights I knew well from my many walks along this route.


“That light blue house over there was painted bright orange, and had huge green and navy blue ovals painted onto it up until 6 months ago. It really was quite a sight. I am told that the owner was in a big court battle with the H.O.A. to repaint it a more acceptable color scheme.” I said once Nothing from Heather


“This tree here has a human hand formed by its lower trunks if you look real close, see it”; I asked
Heather raised her head, but offered no response as to if she had seen the hand in the tree or not.


We walked on, and having gotten to my house, I continued past it, without giving and indication to this silent woman that I lived there. I steered a course on past taking several turns allowing us to continue walking but always keeping with in a few blocks of my house.
It was then that a small cat came out from under a parked car, and paused beside the walk.
Heather immediately approached the little furry grey mound with bright blue eyes, and with her hand outstretched, crouched down and began stroking it.


As I looked down on these two tiny creatures I noticed that Heather was petite but had a quite shapely ass, and her breasts were full and round. The jeans stretched taught over her full bottom as she crouched with the kitten.


Oh my God what am I doing I thought to myself, this girl is 30 years younger that you, stop looking at her like that. I must have been holding my breath because I exhaled audibly to the extent that Heather noticed, and interpreting my gasp as an indication to move on, gave the kitty one last stroke and joined me back on the sidewalk at my side.
“I like cats”; she eventually said
“Yep, I do too”, I enjoy their independence and grace.” and Heather nodded in agreement but offered nothing else.


“My mother died”; came out of the blue from my side.


“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry the hear that, you do have reason to be sad I guess”; I replied


“No, that was three years ago” she said; “I’m over that as much as I can be right now I think”
“Oh”; I gave back
“My dad left our family six years ago, and has a whole new family now somewhere in Ohio, I think”
“When Mom died, they couldn’t even find him and they made me stay at a foster home for a while”; she continued, “Then they sent me here to live with my older brother and his family”


“And…?” I probed


“Thomas already had a family” she went on; “he has three kids, and the youngest one has a really severe development disorder I think it’s called. She can’t walk, talk, or much of anything really, she is in a special chair built just for her, and she is like still an infant but in a teenagers body, has to be changed, fed, bathed, everything.”


“That’s terrible” I replied


“Yeah, and on top of all of that I can’t stand his wife, she’s is a lazy pig, and never did like me to start with. Now I have to live there” she went on


“FUCK!” she gasped
“I hate my life so much!”


Now silence again for a few minutes as we walked along.
Eventually…


“I don’t want to be there, and I know for sure they don’t want me there. They don’t have nearly enough room for five people there, and it’s a dump.” she said
“I have to live in a room they made up for me in the attic, and I hate it too.” She continued; “it’s dirty and cluttered all the time and Tom’s wife doesn’t lift a finger to clean up, she is such a pig!”
“Last night I left without any of them noticing”; I slept at the bus station, and would have grabbed a bus to somewhere, but I don’t have any money, and I really don’t know where I would go anyway”
“Do you have a job, Heather?” I asked
“I have tried to find work, but my brother only has one car, and he needs that to get to his work”; she continued; “I do a lot around the house to keep it up a bit, but the kids really mess it up a lot, and Dawn the pig lays around most of the time watching television. That is until it’s about time for Thomas to come home from work, when she gets up and acts busy, and tells him how tired she is from all she has to do around the house”
“Damn, Bitch Pig”; she shoots
“Bitch Pig”; I agree
By this time in our walk we have circled my street three times, and I need to pee pretty badly, so I divert our route onto my street.


“Heather,” I say, “one of us has to pee”
“No Douglas, I think we both have to pee”; she giggled.
For the last two blocks of our walk little else was said. At one point, she said;
“Ok, now I see it, I see that hand in the tree you were talking about “


As we approach my driveway I instinctively reached out my hand to Heather, and without pause she took my hand and I lead us to my door. I pull out my key, turn the lock, push the door open, and with a hand in the small of her back; I guide her into my home. Heather has landed, I mused to myself. I smiled and closed the door.


Episode 4 – the big hug


“There’s a guest bathroom just down that hall at the end, it’s the door on the left….um and the towels should be clean.” I said as I headed off to the master bathroom myself.


I hadn’t even been in the guest bath or down that hall since Kathy had passed. We had set up a hospital room of sorts with a hospital bed, IV pole, and a small portable toilet, along with a comfortable chair from my den for her caregiver. Our Doctor had referred us to a home hospice agency, and thankfully they took care of the whole set up process.


I had hired a housekeeper, Marta, and she came 3 days a week. There really was not much for her to do, I had been hibernating for many months and confined myself to my bedroom, or more specifically my bed, and I generated a very small foot print. Occasionally I left the room long enough for Marta to change my bedding, but always moved back in as soon as she was finished. She had kept the place very clean, and made sure all the trash was out of the house. She even put a tall glass candle on the coffee table with a tiny yellow flame burning. I paid her $450.00 a week to take care of the house for me, and as far as I could tell, she was good at her job.


Once in the bathroom I stood over the toilet, unzipped my trousers, and reached in only to find that my cock was erect. Peeing with a hard-on is almost impossible, you have to sort of think your way past the tightness, super relax, and eventually, with great concentration finally piss. It wasn’t easy or quick, but I got it done, put everything away, washed my hands and headed back out to the foyer where I had last seen Heather.


While waiting, I set up the coffee maker and pressed BREW, opened the cupboard and took down two cups. As I turned to get a couple of bottles of water from the refrigerator, Heather appeared.
“Damn Douglas, you sure have a nice house here, and I really like the artwork everywhere.” She said
“Would you like water” I asked, handing cool water to her.
“I put on some coffee; it will be ready in just a few minutes.” I said, moving into the living room and gesturing for Heather to join me.


I sat beside the table with the slender candle from Marta, its flame still flickering yellow gradients over the surface of the table.


“I don’t drink coffee, I can’t stand the taste.” She offered back


I sort of chuckled, and said;


“What were you drinking at the doughnut shop then”; I probed


“Just water, I couldn’t afford a milk like I wanted, and they still charged me a nickel for the cup”


“Oh Heather, I didn’t know, you must be hungry too, it’s almost noon.” I sighed “can I get you something to eat?” ; I asked then quickly added;
“I don’t keep much fresh food in the house, but I can have a pizza, or some pasta, or hell about anything delivered to my door within a half an hour”; I said, “I do it all the time, it’s my treat Hun.”


“I really could eat a slice of pizza”; she said “but I was wondering if I might use your shower, it’s been a few days, and I feel grimy.”


“Of course Hun, and while you do that I’ll order us a pizza…err what kind do you like?” I asked
“Anything is fine with me, well... except for pineapple or anchovies that is”; she said over her shoulder as she headed back down the hallway.
“Yeah, I have to agree, pineapple just doesn’t belong on pizza”; I said, and I went off to place our pizza order.
I poured myself a mug of coffee, and went back to the living room. Just as I sat down I remembered there was no shampoo, or conditioner in the guest bath, so I jumped up shot into the master bath, and grabbed a bottle of each out of the cabinet, and rushed back down the hallway. My plan was to sit the shampoo and conditioner outside the guest bathroom door, and tell her they were there through the door, and quickly leave the area. As I approached the door I thought I heard a small noise coming from within. I paused quietly outside, and listened more carefully, and I then identified the noise and crying.
I stood there for a full two minutes at least and listened as the crying eventually turned to soft sobbing and it was then I heard the water in the shower start up, and the glass door of the shower close. I went back to my coffee taking the hair products with me.
“And she seemed so much more upbeat when she went in there”; I muttered to myself.


I cupped my coffee mug between both palms and rested it in my lap, sat back in the easy chair, closed my eyes and pondered on how I could help this lost creature in my bathroom”




BING BONG ..BONG BONG..BING BING .. BONG BONG !
The doorbell startled me back into consciousness and I jumped up to collect our pizza at the front door.
Just as I hit my feet I heard the crash, and then felt the warm liquid from my coffee mug soaking into the left leg and entire crotch area of my trousers.
“Shit!” I exclaimed as I quickly brushed off the excess coffee, picked up the mug, and headed to the door.


According to his name tag, ‘Roger’ the pizza delivery guy, handed me the large box, I quickly fished a couple of twenties from my wallet all the while maintaining eye contact with Roger and attempting small talk to try and avert his attention from my wet pants leg.
“Keep any change Roger”; I said, and quickly turned away with the box hoping he had not noticed.
“Thank you very much sir”; I heard as I closed the door with my ass, and started towards the living room.


I looked up to find Heather standing in the center of the room, wrapped tightly in a big black bath towel. Her hair was wet and a bit darker than I had noticed before, it cascaded in strands over her face and shoulders. The towel was tucked tightly into her ample cleavage accentuating the roundness, and firmness of her white breasts. The towel hit her at about mid-thigh, and I could see that she had very shapely legs and snowy white thighs that disappeared under the hem of the towel. I don’t think my mouth fell open, I’m really not sure though.


“Do you have a washer and dryer I could use for my cruddy clothes Mr. Douglas”; I heard her ask


“uhhh, yes, right out through those doors, … in that little room off of the patio enclosure.” I managed to get out as she headed out to the pool room with her soiled clothing wadded up in her hand. I also noticed the pink strings of what had to be her thong peeking out from the wadded clothing.


I sat the pizza box down on the coffee table, and went quickly to the kitchen, grabbed a fresh dish towel and started dabbing at my wet trousers. As I did this I noticed that I was fully erect, and I’m not even sure that all of the moisture on the front of my crotch was actually coffee. I thought about shooting into my bedroom and changing real quickly, decided against it and grabbing two large plates from the cupboard, and took them into the living room.


I opened up the box, and then snatched a throw pillow off of the couch, sat back into my soft chair, and placing the throw pillow on my lap, I reached over and picked up a plate and sat it on the pillow. ‘She didn’t seem to notice before, maybe it will dry up more while we eat our pizza.


Heather emerged from the patio doors and said; “Wow Douglas, that’s a pretty cool pool you got there. Is that a hot tub on the other side of that fountain?” she asked


“Grab some pizza while it’s hot Hun” I said as she headed over to the coffee table and with her back to me she leaned over deeply scooped up a slice and putting it on her plate straightened up and went to the couch. As she was getting her pizza the towel slid up just slightly over her round buttocks and I could see the milky whiteness of her inner thighs glowing out to me, almost like they were iridescent.


She folded her legs under her butt as she settled onto my couch. She paused a second to push the wet hair from her face, and lifted the slice of pizza to her mouth.


We made small talk while we ate, she asked about one of the paintings I had on the wall, wondered what that statue of the three naked people intertwined was made from, and complimented me on all the ‘pretty things I had in my house’. As she talked more I realized I was getting more familiar with her strange speech pattern and her abuse of the letter ‘R’. I also observed that her lazy eye was more and more aligned with my own, and both eyes were sort of pink and puffy which confirmed what I thought I had overheard at her bathroom door.
She went out to check her clothes in the washer, and I couldn’t help but follow her cute bottom as she left the room.
I got up and closed up the left over pizza, and put our plates in the sink. I also attempted to blot up a bit of a wet coffee spot on the rug in front of the chair I had been in, and seeing that my trousers were still pretty damp I rushed off to the my bedroom to change into a pair of white golf shorts, run my fingers through my hair to fluff it back into place, and then without even thinking I pressed the top on my bottle of ‘Canon’, my favorite cologne, rubbed the fingers of both hands together and transferred the fragrant moistness to the sides of my neck. Before I headed back to the living room I sat back on the edge of my unkempt bed, and pondered what I was going to do for this lovely lady.


We both arrived in the living room at exactly the same time. She had already changed into the clothes I had met her wearing, and I noticed that they were much less wrinkled and a little bit clingy.
“They weren’t quite dry yet, but I put them on anyway, they are nice and cozy warm right now”; she said as she settled back onto her legs on the couch.
I went out and poured another mug of coffee, and took it back into the living room. Maybe I would even be able to drink this mug.
I sat back on the edge of my seat, and thought a second before asking;
“Heather, have you got any idea what you want to do about clothes and a job and such?” I asked pointedly.
“Yeah, I think I am going to have to go back to my brother’s house, and apologize as best I can, …. I fucked up I guess. “; she offered.
“I mean, they were feeding me and at least I had a place to sleep.” She whispered, more to herself than anyone else.”
“Is that what you want to do Heather, because I can help you get there safely at the very least.” I probed.
“It isn’t what I want as much as what I have to do, I didn’t really plan this whole escape from the ‘Pig Queen’ thing I did” she said
“I will take you up on that ride you offered though, its way over on the other side of town, and my feet hurt from these damn sandals I wore for my escape.” She smiled back to me.


Okay,…. Excuse me a second, I’ll be right back” I said as I got up and went back into the bedroom. I have no idea exactly why I came in here, but sat back down on the edge of my bed, closed my eyes a minute and just thought. I need to figure this out I rolled around in my mind, I was really successful in college in a class called ‘Concepts of advanced Problem Solving Techniques and Practices’ I should be able to figure out something. Yeah I should.


Heading back to the living room with really nothing more than I had when I came back in here, the plan slowly started to reveal itself to me.


Instead of the chair I was in, I went to the arm of the couch furthest from her, sort of straddled it, and said; “Heather, I might have something else you can do other than going back to your brother’s place. Now just hear me out, and decide after you think about it”


“What’s that?” she asked, and I proceeded


“Well, I have a lady who comes in a few days a week and cleans up the place”
“Her name is Marta, and if you wish I will pay you to help her do her housekeeping and whatever else she does around the house”; I proceeded.
“There is a lot to do around here and I really believe she could use a helper.” I lied
“And while you are working here you can have one of those back bedrooms, I would recommend the one at the end of the hallway second on the left, it has a television in there and a full bath too.” I advised
“At the very least, you will have a safe place to stay and plenty of left over pizza too.”
She chuckled a bit and said; “Mr. Douglas I couldn’t impose on you like that, and besides I am prone to do dumb shit, like running away in cheap sandals, with no money and no cash, and not to mention, no plan”
She lifted herself up enough to put both of her legs straight out on front of her showing her feet. I could see the red marks on her ankles, back of her heals, and across the top of her feet.
“Look Heather, you wouldn’t be imposing at all, ad you would really be helping Marta and myself out a lot”; I lied again.
“And, of course, I’ll pay you, I’ll pay you $450.00 weekly, that’s what I pay her. I ventured
“You pay that much to take care of this house?” she shot back; “Mr. Douglas you are paying too much already and then to pay both of us?”
“I don’t think you really want to do that, do you?” she asked
“Heather, I think that, much like yourself, we don’t really have a choice, I am sure not going to let you go back to the ‘Queen Bitch” and grovel. I can’t allow that.” I firmly stated.


“It’s pig Bitch, by the way, and….” she paused. And finally she went on;
“Wow, Douglas, I never expected that, I never even dreamed it, and my heart and ego says do it, do it! “But I’m afraid I ……”


“Stop, stop”; I interrupted “it’s a better plan than the ‘no plan’ plan that you had before. Right?”


“Umm, I don’t know” she pondered.


“I promise to always be on my best behavior and a perfect gentleman” I added


“Douglas, that never crossed my mind, you have already been such a gentleman, I had never thought otherwise”; she added. “Are you sure about this?”; “remember, I am capable of some really dumb behavior”


“I am quite sure Heather.” I replied

“How about we put a time limit on this, like maybe two weeks. I can get back on my feet a bit, and then I will move on and let you continue your life in peace” she offered back “what do you say to that?”


“I’m good with that, but I want you to know that the offer is open-ended, I’m not putting a time limit on you” I relinquished


“Now go check out your room Heather” I ordered “and tomorrow we will get you set up with some things to make you more comfortable”


“Now go to your room young lady” I joked as I stomped my foot and pointed in the direction of the hallway.
“Yes Daddy”, she laughed as she stood up and started towards her room.
She passed me and was almost into the hallway when she stopped, with her back still to me, and I could see her shoulders and back heaving slightly and I thought at first she was still laughing at my weak attempt of humor. Then I realized she was sobbing.
I said nothing. I saw her wipe her eyes with the back of her hands, and she slowly turned back to me.
“Could I have a hug, Douglas?” she asked with her head down but her eyes still looking for my answer
I was standing next to the wall of the kitchen and I simply opened my arms to her, and she padded quickly over to me as I enveloped her small body and pulled her close to me. I felt her warmth; I could feel the blood coursing through her neck against my own. She pulled herself even closer to me and I turned her around against the wall, leaned even closer to her, and into her ear right next to my lips, I softly whispered.
“Disappear here, ……. disappear here little one”


Episode 5-




I held Heather, both of my arms around her waist, her back pressed into the wall and leaned in over her, she put both arms around my neck, and we remained that way for maybe two or three minutes, maybe even more, there was really no such thing as time it this moment, and for that period I could not say for sure the exact duration
. I could not see her face as her head lay on my shoulder, but her breath warmed me, I could feel her pulse where her neck stretched over my shoulder, and pressed tightly.
Nothing was said, she allowed herself to be enveloped completely into the silence of the embrace.
My hips pressed hers firmly into the corner, yet her hips didn’t totally allow it, she instead pressed hers away from the wall, and flush to mine. We breathed together, and as we did I felt a deep warm blanket of calm settled over us. We disappeared together, disappeared into each other.


Eventually reality smashed in on me, or us, I don’t know how singular the decision to dissolve our embrace actually was, but I slowly lowered my arms from her waist and her arms followed down her body and to her side. Our hips stayed bonded together for a small moment, and I turned my face to her ear and whispered;
“Off to bed Young Lady,…..sleep well”
“Yes Daddy”; she replied
I stepped back to allow her access, and she quietly padded off down the hall.


I stood a moment and watched her bottom until she rounded the corner in the hall, and then I just closed my eyes, and felt the guilt rush over me.
I headed off to my bedroom myself, but instead of sleep I sat on the edge of the bed and reflected.
“What the fuck?” I actually gasped out loud.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked myself

‘I am not a dirty old mind’ I stated to myself, it was partly a statement to me of a fact, and partly an accusation of me to me.


I had a reason here that does not include putting moves on this lovely innocent woman who had allowed herself to come home with a man that was 30 years her senior.


‘For God’s sake, she is a lost confused, runaway, and you are sitting here with a full on erection.’ I said in my head.


It was true, I had noticed as I was walking to the bedroom, and thought was slightly ashamed.
I hoped she had not noticed,


‘Oh- for-fuck’s-sake!’


‘What if she did notice?’


‘No, she gave no indication, and beside I didn’t know myself until I started walking in here.’


‘She’s 23; you’re 52, what the fuck are you doing here Douglas?’


You need to get a grip on this, you need to keep mindful that your task here is to help Heather get back on her feet, or maybe just on her feet for the first time in her life, but either way, you must keep perspective of things. ‘


“And what about yourself’ I continued to myself; ‘you are less than a year out from Kathy’s death, you know your emotions are influenced here too, so just get a fucking grip man, and get back on track”;
I lectured myself in my mind and it stung just as if someone was punctuating every point with the crack of a bull whip.
I didn’t feel sleepy at all, I was feeling a bit raw, and ashamed, but I leaned back against the pillow and closed my eyes.


Episode 6 – Getting everything together.
I woke just before 5 am, and after executing the self-imposed ritual of checking the other side of the bed to see if that woman I loved so deeply had suddenly and magically come back to life and I would find her sleeping once again at my side, I sat up.
I quickly put my day’s tasks in order in my mind, and reached for my phone.
I was about to call, but then considered the time, and I texted Marta, my faithful housekeeper.


“Please give me a call before you leave for here Marta, I have a few items for you to pick-up at the shops on your way in” –Douglas H.
It wasn’t unusual for Marta to pick up various items for the house before arriving here and I had provided her with a MasterCard just for that purpose. What was unusual was that I actually had a request. She had always just got whatever was needed and I just stayed in my self-made womb and slept.
I had just laid my phone on the bed and was going to jump into a long hot shower, when it rang, startling me a bit.
“Hello”
“Hello, Mr. Douglas, I just got your message, you wish me to get something at the grocery?” I heard, in a slightly unfamiliar voice, I realized I had never heard Marta on the phone before,
“What would you like Sir?”
“Yes Marta, would you get some milk, like maybe a big jug of it”, “ oh, and maybe some breakfast cereal also”
“Yes Sir, what kind of cereal would you like?” she asked
“oh, umm, I don’t know, cheerios, or flakes of some sort…just get a small variety I guess….3 or four boxes.
“Sir, you are eating again, that’s wonderful”; she said
“Well, we have a guest this morning Marta, she’s…uh, uh a friend, or acquaintance or friend”; I heard myself stammer into the phone.
“Oh, I see, Mr. Douglas”; she said
I ignored any implications I heard in her voice, and then added;
“And some fresh fruit type stuff, you know, like apples, oranges and pomegranates, or whatever they have”
“Pomegranates Mr. Douglas?”; she quizzed
“OK, not pomegranates, I don’t know why I said that…just ordinary fruits …whatever they have.”
“OK Sir”; she said sounding slightly amused with me;
“Oh, and would you also pick-up a toothbrush, and toothpaste, and maybe some shampoo and conditioner, like the kind for a woman, and some sort of sweet smelling soap, and….and…”
“I think I know what you need Mr. Douglas”; she interrupted, “I’ll Take care of it”
“Thank you Marta, you know what’s needed” I said
“I do Mr. Douglas, and I am so happy you figured out what was needed also sir”; she said back to me
“No, no Marta, it’s not…..”; but she had already hung up.
I sort of chuckled to myself and went right straight for that shower I was needing.


Quickly stripping once in the master bath, I stepped down the three tile step into the shower. Kathy and I had personally designed the shower when we built the house, we both so much enjoyed showering, sometimes together, so we allotted a good amount more dollars to this are to make sure it was a perfect shower, and it was.
12 feet long and with only a clear glass wall separating it from the bath proper, it had a life size bamboo stalk etched into it, but was otherwise transparent. A long tile bench ran along the back side with full length planter boxes at the very top adjacent to a long narrow window. The planter boxes had contained ferns and vines, several of which hung over and cascaded down above the bench. The flora had died many months ago succumbing to a lack of care. The “shower wall” was impressive to say the least, it had six special fan-spray heads imbedded into the wall as you faced it, there were two columns of three heads, and they were controlled by one lever, the further you turned it the more pressure it had, and thanks to several tanks in the garage always had perfect 103 degree water the second it was turned on. There were two shower heads further up from the 6 body sprayers, they were more of a traditional looking and performing showerhead, except they too had two different tanks in the garage and they could behave just as the body jets did. Now as if that wouldn’t be plenty of water for any one , or two, persons, 14 ft. above in the ceiling were four rain heads, large circular flat discs that each contained thousands of very tiny holes giving a constant sprinkling of raindrops down upon the heads of the occupants. The two rain heads at the front were temperature synched with all the others giving a gentle warm rain, however the two at the back of the shower had 35 degree water spraying from them, not so much a spray but a hard mist. They were somehow keyed into the master control because when you pressed the STOP button, they remained unaltered for about 30 seconds. They were invigorating to say the very least.
I lingered a long time in the shower this morning, letting all of that water rinse the dirty-old-man off of me from last night. I had a new resolve. I had a good plan. I had the resources, and I have the time and… I have a hard on!
“Fucking perfect, Douglas, just fucking perfect!” ; I said to myself
I hit the STOP button and immediately stepped back under the cold mist still spraying, and stood there admonishing myself for the full 30 seconds.
Toweling off as I went back into the bedroom I was about to step into my closet and dress, when I caught the sweet aroma of coffee, and glancing around the room I spotted a mug of steaming brew sitting on my bed side table. There was a white dinner napkin next to it on a small saucer. I moved over and took up the mug and just inhaled the steam rising off it, ahhhh, then I sipped a small slurp from the mug. Sweet essence of life!
I couldn’t imagine having been in the shower long enough for Marta to finish at the shops, and make it here already. Lifting one corner of the napkin it revealed a slice of slightly dried slice of pepperoni pizza.
I chuckled as I took the stiff, dry slice in my free hand and had a large bite. I actually liked cold pizza
“Wow, it appeared Heather had been in ere this morning while I was basking in my shower”; I thought to myself and it surprised me she was even up yet.
Taking my coffee mug I went to my closet to dress for the day. When designing the home Kathy and I had made sure we both had more than enough closet space. Although there were two entrances for a proper his and hers closet system, they adjoined on one wall. The other side had been closed up when Kathy had died, and I had not even looked inside for many months. That room contained many memories, and it was a can of worms that didn’t need opening. She had been a clotheshorse and I had always appreciated how she always seemed to dress perfectly for the occasion.
I opted for bicycle shorts and a graphic polo since I planned on a little thinking time on two wheels this morning.
Going through the kitchen and depositing my mug on the counter I noticed that Heather had not only made coffee and removed all evidence of our pizza from last night, but she had opened all of the drapes and curtains throughout the common parts of the house and the morning sun was flooding in.
Taking my bike down from the brackets on the wall, I maneuvered between the two cars, pressed the top button on the keypad opening the twin doors onto the bright white cement of the driveway. Just as I was about to push off on my ride Marta’s car pulled into the drive and approached me. She was smiling broadly exposing one gold tooth right in the middle of an otherwise unblemished smile. I rolled up to her side and was about to help her carry in her shopping purchases but she jumped out of her vehicle and started shooting questions to me.
“So Mr. Douglas tell me about your guest…
‘What is her name?’
‘How did you meet her?’
‘Is she going to be staying with you long?’
‘How can I help you get things set up in the house for your guest?”

“Her name is Heather, we met at a coffee shop, I don’t know exactly how long she will need to stay but I want to prepare for a longer stay if needed” I answered.
“Today I would like you to take her shopping” I went on
“What should we shop for Mr. Douglas?” Marta asked
“She is starting over Marta she doesn’t have anything except what she is wearing right now, so please go on in introduce yourself, and take her under your wing and get her everything she needs”; I told her.
“Make sure she gets everything she needs, like clothes and shoes, and well everything.”
“Try not to underestimate how many she will need, I want her to have too many clothes and shoes, rather than not enough. I want her to have to choose with a lot of choices from which to choose. You understand don’t you Marta?” I asked
“Mr. Douglas I have three daughters, and I think I know what a young lady needs to be a lady, I will take care of everything, you know I will” she replied
“I appreciate it Hun, and just put it all on the house card, and if you hit the limit just have them call me I’ll extend the cap.”, I assured
“I have this covered Mr. Douglas, now get off on your ride and don’t worry your friend is in good hands” she said
“Now go, go, go,” she said making sweeping motions with her hands, and I set off on my ride.
I had planed on doing some sprints on the bike this morning and working up a real good sweat but I had one stop I wanted to make before I got all sweaty.
I rolled on a few more blocks before coasting up to the door of the apple store and as the automatic doors swept open for me I rolled my bike at my side and approached an open counter area.
The kid behind the counter appeared to be about fifteen or so, but I though he had to be older than that to work here, didn’t he?
“I need another line and a new phone for it”, I offered and after going through all of the paperwork I picked out a new I phone like mine only pink. I entered my cell number into the new one along with Marta’s and several of the restaurants that I order from often, slid the new phone into a pocket on my shorts, and piloted my bike back outside and onto the street.
After allowing a short warm-up period I started a pattern of sprinting as hard as possible, with short cool-downs after every set. It was a system I had developed a long time ago and it allowed more some pretty clear thinking times during those cool-down periods. I allowed my mind to drift back to what life was like in earlier times. I drifted back to college graduation and the times that followed. I remembered my first introduction to Kathleen. I only called her by that name once or twice and at her insistence called her Kathy. She was an executive at a large healthcare company and she had hired my firm to evaluate her present personal computer and make sure it was adequate to do what ever she might need from it, and then I was to sit down with her on a daily basis and teach her how to be most productive with her PC.
After only a short while at her side I recognized why this large company had installed Kathy in such a high position. I would explain a new concept to her, and she seemed to pick it up instantly and then went on to apply it to what she had already learned. This was a service I had performed for many companies and individuals in the past, it was an easy class for me since I had done it so many times in the past it really didn’t require any preparation from myself, and the duration was based on the learning and retention speeds of my student. Kathy ate up everything I threw her way, and was taking in all the information I was putting out to her at an astonishing rate. I found that I had to prep for our daily 3PM meetings in her office. After only two weeks and 3 days I finally told her that I felt she had everything I had to give her and she was now a graduate as far as I was concerned and had no need for my services any longer. In face I had sort of delayed her graduation for several day because I truly enjoyed and admired this woman. She was smart, and insightful, and I could see that this powerful woman was going places, and there was not much that could stop her.
“Well, great, may I buy you a good steak she said out of the blue?”
“Kathy, that isn’t necessary at all, but I can’t say a steak tonight doesn’t sound bad at all.”
“Good let’s do it then, happy hour is about to start, and I know just the place.” She said
“I’ll drive if you don’t mind”, and we were off to our first dinner together. I didn’t know then that it would be the first of many years of dinners, and breakfasts, and evenings together.
There was no talk of computers or spreadsheets or anything electronic during the 3 ½ hours of dinner and drinks that eschewed. Instead we spent that time getting to know about the other. Kathy knew how to ask just the right questions to probe a bit deeper that I might have planned on giving away. We laughed a lot, and I found she had a highly developed sense of humor.
Over the following three months we started seeing each other almost every day. Typically we would meet at a restaurant or club and dining together then off to dance a few rounds or just heading out for a walk. We did comedy club, the theater and a long list of things “that new couples do”.
On our fourth date we had sex. It wasn’t discussed or even hinted at, it just happened as we were preparing to go to dinner. I had come to her flat to pick her up and was waiting in the kitchen with a drink in hand. I was gazing out a large framed window looking onto a pool and hot tub. She had furnished the whole covered area with large cushioned couches, and oversized easy chairs. There were several large ottomans which would have been large enough to sleep on if you curled up just a small amount. Everything was done in shades of burgundy, deep purple, and ambers. It belonged in a magazine. As I was looking out Kathy came up behind me, hugged me tightly from behind and softly whispered onto the back of my neck.
“We have something we need to do before dinner tonight Doug”, as she came to my side and I turned towards her and saw that she was nude except for a skimpy pair of black panties. Her breasts were firm and high and her pink nipples were standing proudly out front and were perfectly centered on her light plum areolas . She took my hand and led me to the large sofa closest to the pool, and she sat.
“Undress for me Doug”, she commanded and I immediately complied . Her eyes remained fixed on my own as I took off each article of clothing, only speaking when I got down to my undershorts, saying;
“stop there sir, now come closer” and I closed the distance between us, she stood and placed a long kiss on my lips, and as she kissed her hands snaked under the underwear and as she slowly kissed her way down over my chest her hands pushed my underwear down until it finally fell away and settling at my feet.
She held her hands behind my body as she lowered herself to her knees with her hands cupping my ass cheeks. She leaned slightly forward placing my now erect penis against her lips and softly kissed the very tip. As her lips parted slightly her hands pulled softly against my ass and hips guiding my penis into her warm mouth.
For several seconds she just enveloped my cock with her mouth, and then she started a slow forward movement of her hear as she pulled my hips in to meet her mouth. She would occasionally pause for just a moment then continue the gentle thrust and sometimes I would hear her moan.
I Placed my hands on the side of her face while she suckled me and I could feel the muscles of her throat contract and relax with every stroke I made into her.
I cupped her head and gently pulled her mouth away from my very moist, literally throbbing hard cock. I took her arms and brought her to her feet, and looking into her eyes placed my mouth over hers and our tongues jumped into the others mouth to play. As we kissed I could taste my own slippery saltiness on her tongue. I let my hands trail down her back as our lips pressed together with a growing urgency tracing softly over her firm buttocks , then seeking the waist of her panties, I pushed them down until they to joined mine on the floor. I was firmly cupping her ass as I lowered her back onto the ottoman by the sofa moved her into the center and was about to join her when I just stopped to look upon what lay before me. This woman was powerful, she commanded everything and everyone in her responsibility realm ad they obeyed out of respect because she demanded nothing else. She lay before me and as she raised her arms to pull me down to her, she open her legs and I settled between her open thighs. I placed my arms under each of her knees and raised her legs open wider to my eyes. Her hairless pussy was displayed to me the lips were pink and puffy and slightly open. Using my thumbs I gently parted her pussy fully and moved up to let my tongue slip between and trace slowly up and down, and then I sought out her clit, and I just kissed it a few times softly but each kiss blowing air onto her now exposed button. I sucked it softly between my lips and then let my mouth and tongue explore every square ince, every mm every particle, I tasted her completely. I let a finger seek out Kathy’s vagina opening, and slipped into her as I ate her pussy and she whimpered slightly a few times. We took our time we explored, we learned together about the other, and when it was right I rose, moved between her open thighs, and entered Kathy for the first time. It would be the first of many more times we made love, but it would always stand out among the many other sexual adventures we embarked on together. We both came to love the exhilaration when we pushed our comfort levels together. At some point Kathy indicated to me that she wanted a place where she could disappear into where she wasn’t making all the decisions, she said she wanted let someone else take that away for her if even just for awhile each day.
“And Doug, I want that place I disappear into to be you” ; she went on, “when I arrive home from now on I want to be able to just come into you and devote myself entirely to pleasing you. I want to be abIe to have you teach me how to serve you best, and what ever your will it is mine also. I trust you completely and I can best express my trust in my service to you. Is that something you can be to me?”
I had been exposed to the Dom/sub relationship dynamic in physiology classes back in college, but I never viewed it as deviant only alternate. I could see how the dynamic could work with two committed people. We did our homework on the subject and decided just how closely we wanted to stay to the common rituals and rules of BDSM. We went through and hand picked those we thought fit into our lifestyle and altered some others to make them fit us better. We even drew up a contract as suggested by almost all of our research sources. We called ours a “statement of commitment and intent”. It had no formal binding either legally or otherwise, but it put everything out front, boundaries and bases it was a product of both of us and it was hand crafted to us. To seal the deal the day we finally had it all down on paper, printed out with a title and even a few charts. It was how e wanted out lives to evolve and grow together for, well for ever as far as that takes us. We didn’t exactly sign it in ink, but Kathy took me into her mouth and suckled me until I burst my load onto her waiting tongue, she rose up and pressed her lips to mine and I felt the warm slipperiness of my own load flow into my mouth. We then had a long slippery kiss allowing the warm wetness on our lips cover each others mouth, and then she picked up our document and we took turns “signing” each page with a small kiss. It was a dynamic that I had never knew existed.




Episode – 5


Glancing down at the odometer on my bicycle I realized I was approaching the 11 mile mark on my ride. I had tracked out of the city for my ride and had done short intense sprints followed by slower cool down times but all in all I have been out almost three hours so I steered back towards home. Arriving in my drive I noticed that Marta and Heather were not back yet, so after stowing the bike back in the garage, I moved directly to the pool and stripping off my shorts and shirt I plunged into the brisk refreshing waters.
After doing a few leisurely laps in the luxury cool water I climbed out gathered my sweaty clothing and tossing it towards the washer I headed to my bedroom to dress.


Sitting in the living room enjoying a fresh brewed cup of coffee my first indication that the Women were back was loud laughter coming from outside the front door. I sat my coffee down beside the floating rose in a bowl and went to open the door.
As I opened the door I was greeted by a solid moving wall of mall shopping bags. I couldn’t help but notice number one that it was a big wall of bags moving at me, but it was most colorful indeed. I smiled.
Mr. Douglas, you did say to get Heather everything she needs…right?
I laughed a bit and replied, “I did indeed”
“Well I took you at your word and I think her and I got that accomplished.” And she added, “But there is still a few things that we will get later Mr. Douglas”
After both Heather and Marta had moved past me I grabbed the remaining few bags and headed in to see some of what they had picked out.
“Mr. Douglas, you know this is crazy too much”, and I want you to know I will repay you for everything, I even kept all the receipts so I won’t lose track of how much I owe you”, she said
“Heather, let’s cross that road when we get to it, right now I just want you to be comfortable and safe.”
For the next two hours I was treated to a fashion show of sorts. Marta and Heather would disappear into her room and eventually Marta would come out and “announce” what the next outfit consisted of, and exactly where she could wear said outfit. The Heather would emerge in the outfit of the moment go to the center of the living room and strike some sort of pose for a moment before turning on her heel and prancing off behind Marta to change outfits. I could tell they were both having a good time and I have to admit that I enjoyed it immensely also.
After a long line of jean sets and dresses with various accessories, a little black dress, that I was informed every woman MUST have, and a long black pants suit with those really bulky legs making it at first appear to be a full length dress.
Then without any announcement from Marta, Heather emerged from the hall wearing zebra print bikini with a long silky throw tied at her side. She went to the center of the room and turned to face me.
“You like?” she posed to me.
“OH God yes.”, I shot back way too quickly. I was sure my mouth had slackened open, and my voice was way higher that I had meant for it to be. I could not believe I had just acted out how a seventh grade boy might have if presented with Heather in a bikini. And as if that wasn’t enough I’m sure to top it all off, I blushed.
Fortunately she at first didn’t appear to have notice, although I was not sure how she could not have.
So I offered: “ I have always loved tiger prints, that’s a really sharp swimsuit”
AS she headed off back to change again, she brushed real close to me and quietly whispered;
“It’s a really sharp zebra print too Douglas” and as she padded off down the hall she dramatically flounced her hips left and right as if to say, I know your watching


Marta appeared shortly and informed me that Heather wanted to show me the swimsuit without any announcing. She the stepped aside and Heather appeared in a bright yellow sun dress. It had spaghetti straps and the dress showed off her ample bosoms and flowed gently to mid-thigh. The dress was very simple, but clearly the ladies had saved the best for last. Sometimes the dress really makes the woman, but in this case Heather made the dress. It almost lit up the room as she went to the center, and done a quick 360 degree spin allowing the hem of the dress to fan out above her waist momentarily flashing a bright yellow pair of skimpy panties. I Know I gulped, but no one noticed.


Over the next hour Heather and Marta threw together a quick pasta and salad, and Marta set it all out on a table by the pool. Marta then announced that she needed to get back to her girls at home, and that she would see us tomorrow. And Heather and I moved to our waiting meal in the soft glow of the underwater pool lights.


More next week


The Author: I am Douglas I’m retired from a long career as instructor at a state university teaching several programming languages, system analysis & design, and problem solving techniques in the IT department. My minor was psychology and if truth be told, I liked psychology and the study of the human mind experience far more than system analysis, COBOL, and all the other dry programming languages I needed to take. None the less I graduated with a Masters in the top 5% of my class, went on to start my own consulting business, found a niche in the blossoming software market, and eventually started teaching a few classes for my Alma Mater, I later donated time to a local crisis intervention center on a suicide hotline.

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