Nil Points; zero; nada; zilch

Thanks Roslyn, you can say I look like Barbara Cartland for all I care, so long as I get points! x

wtf with all the ****'s?? all I said was "for-all-I-care-as-long-as-I-get-the..."

Thank you both kindly. I wonder, are all these points transferable to my Nectar card?

Thanks guys. I'm still having message issues - so BG,I did try to respond but you've also exceeded your limit for incoming.

Seems the blog is the only open plain where dialogue isn't limited, so unless some kind soul thinks I'm so cute that they're prepared to mortgage their cat to buy me a subscription, I'm going to be holding court here.

Finding decent shoes in a size ten (ha! beat the asterisks!) is a real bugger, especially anything with a decent heel. And don't anyone ever mention the names Evans or Essence in my presence, never have I seen such pitiful design & craftsman-(man? a paraplegic gibbon could do better)-ship.

There are very few reasons for moving to the US, but the huge choice of affordable quality wigs & shoes is a fairly big one.

I am thinking it is almost impossible to communicate without signing up. I hate to spend money like this for all 4 people on the site here in Montana. But, I liked yours....

***This avatar business is so crap.***

Amen to that !! :-)

Actually something occurred to me just now: Do bloggers get paid in points on a "per word" basis? If so, it's a bit like how I get paid for my real job.

I hope you're going somewhere that's warm enough for a bikini, Roslyn; I woke up this morning and it's suddenly autumn. Though I'm sure all the PVC lovers will be heaving a sweaty sigh of relief for the cooler front,

Oh well, out of swishing maxis & into opaques n cashmere...

Skebbie, how can you be so negative? The avatar's give us all something to aim for in life, lord knows there's little else of value to be found in the world, and I think you should keep such dark thoughts to yourself lest you pop the balloons of hope that many here cherish.

& no, bloggers don't get ppw, but they do get points per punter who leaves a comment. Yours propelled me to Level 26 and I'm so excited I could wrap myself in clingfilm and fuck a cantaloupe.

Thanks for the tip, curvybird. Obviously I'm a huge fan of LTS, have seen m.a.g.n.u.s stuff around but was unsure of the quality, what're they like?

Suffering as I do from real plates of meat feet the width is the clincher, quite literally. Evans (spin three times & spit) do their EEE which are surprisingly too wide for me. I just want a stylish pair )or three) of wedges that don't look like they were manufactured by anti-aesthetes in some pre-Glasnost Siberian gulag...

Some great humour here and i haven't experienced a message block yet. Sounds like a dream at the moment lol. Nice pics !!!

Points theft? Bring back hanging, that's what I say. Hanging, drawing, quartering & the carcass dragged down Berwick St until the head falls off.

I think the "best bits" come off at the drawing stage, I forget, I'm a little out of practice. I would imagine they'd be a bit like the bride's bouquet at a wedding, tossed into the crowd to be caught by some virgin hopeful.

& although I agree that community service for crimes such as stealing from washing lines may well be an effective punishment, there comes a point, the point of point theft, that even deportation to Australia (still a pretty hideous prospect, if you ask me) doesn't adequately address.

... apart from the fluent literary style, of course.

I think a lot depends on the executioner and his particular style of tossing said bits. Whether he does a bit of tossing before he tosses, who knows, but I'm sure if you cross his hairy palm with silver he'll direct his toss your way.

Jeez, I'm beginning to sound like Frankie Howard.

New pic uploaded, taken this afternoon. Yet to override the autofocus on my phone to stop it focussing on the mirror surface rather than the reflected image, but sod it, life's too short; long fingernails & touchscreens do not get on terribly well.

I feel a bit fraudulent having some older pics that are getting so much attention. Still, the legs are still very much intact & the waistline's actually decreased, so there you go, just shows the power of abstinence and prayer.

This is rapidly turning into the Frankie Howard Impersonation Society.

I'll have to start a new blog, steer it more in the direction of those great heros of British comedy, Jim Davidson & Bernard Manning.

This is true. But II get dizzy trying to decide whether to spend my 25p a day on this, or pet insurance, or BT fibreoptic, or maybe the over 50's plan that lovely Michael Parkinson is always on about (even though I'm not 50, but fuck, I could always pretend; luckily I' can get the Parker pen just by inquiring), or I could go for the big one, live in the fast lane, & get myself a Wonga loan.

Does anyone know if Gocompare do tranny sites?

If Gocompare do tranny sites that singer on the ads will lose his mustache and get a wig!

I have 10 Avatar points to spare. I'd gladly let you have them if I could Stephanie. Summer all year round for my avatar.

Olivers, GRANNY SITES ... Really?

Not bad, I've had two of my own comments here deleted by mods - an enquiry about rocket launchers and a lonely heart ad for Hitler.

There was me thinking I'd been behaving with unusual restraint. However, it's very pleasing to know that satire can still fuck with the establishment and I shall continue, tipping my hat to Sterne, Swift & Voltaire along the way.

Funny how to some, tongue in cheek ideas are more unsettling than pictures of coke cans up people's rectums.

...and be Swift about it. x