Yes!, Yes!, Yes! Sound familiar?

if you ever find the answer to that question how men fake orgasms lol please let me know

Oh come on Johnboy, you must have some idea? Give us a clue ...

These stats would suggest that blokes aren't doing their job properly. I seem to recall a previous discussion about "labour-saving devices".........
Maybe men are, in fact, approaching obsolescence now that human ingenuity has come up with all sorts of artificial sexual aids, ranging from porn to silicone dolls to massive vibratorsdildos. Maybe the concept of the perfect shagging male robot (Jude Law in "A.I.") is not so far away. Or the "Orgasmatron" in Woody Allen's "Sleeper".

Must own up to having faked an orgasm when I was so shagged out all I wanted to do was sleep :-) It's not so difficult as long as you dispose of the (empty) condom fairly sharpish. Just make a loud groan, shudder and twitch a bit, and then go all limp (lol). Not exactly rocket science.

Skebbie - and you got away with that? Perhaps I pay far too much attention to the detail :-)

Curveybird - During my first ever visit to the chatroom, I was PMd by a guy who asked me if I'd ever seen a fleshlight. Of course, my curiosity got the better of me and I nievely accepted his offer to show me it on cam. Needless to say, I only stuck around just long enough to see what he was doing with it. OMG scarred for life ...

It's something to do with paper and it's from Japan - I think!

@Lilith - **Just checked internet**

Definition: a feeling of intense pleasure that happens during sexual activity.

So this means, watching Bear Grylls on TV while your partner is sticking his woody in your love tunnel.

I saw a guy on blue peter doing it.........long time ago, I think they banned it after

Hahaha Fallingangel. *Tears in eyes laughing*.

I'm just wondering whether or not Admin will see this as a racist comment. They deleted a perfectly innocent comment I made yesterday about a guide to Stratford for Japanese tourists.

Oh well ... they keep us on our toes that's for sure.

Curvy have you ever experienced a guy faking an orgasm?


FA 'fess up. Have you?

Why would you want to?

Must admit I laughed out loud when I retrieved this thread after half a day's absence. Well done all.

FA: You beat me to commenting on the Welsh butt-plug issue :-)

Curvy: No way is the Fleshlight ever going to replace women. I wouldn't be seen dead with one (a Fleshlight, that is....). In fact I would say owning one earmarks a man as being a sad git. A woman once told me she'd dated a guy who had one, and would hang it up in the shower to drain and dry off (presumably after washing it ???). Have men no self-respect ???

Fleshlight - why oh why oh why ... ?

Wouldn't a hand suffice? Or perhaps it is preferred by the DIY experts because it looks like a flashlighttorch and they can keep it in their tool box.

Skebbie, it could have been a loofah that was hanging in the shower :-)

*useless info - whenever I type Skebbie on my ipad it auto corrects to 'see bike'

Exactly! Mrs Palm and her five daughters are perfectly adequate thank you. I think some cynical marketing has been at work here. A large proportion of men are insecure idiots: the types that constantly worry about penis size, whether their orgasms are adequate, whether they produce a sufficient volume of semen, whether their Abs look like a gorilla's etc. They're a marketing dream for purveyors of "penis pills", "volume expanders", "Slendertone twitch machines" and (of course) Fleshlights.

Luv2: Somehow I think a loofah is never going to be an adequate substitute for "Lilith's cunt" :-)

Yeah I'm referred to as the "village bike" in this neck of the Japanese woods.

Ooo, an exfoliated cock ... Lilith, you may well have come up with an original beauty treatment. You could open a salon.

Back, sac, crack depilation and cock exfoliation.

Pmsl

Lilith: Is the game you're referring to known as "poke her" ??
Would you be up for a "trial by ordeal" with my loofah to ascertain whether you are a genuine witch? :-)

BTG: I can assure you that if you decide to meet me later this month, fake orgasms will not be required :-)

I sneezed eight consecutive times yesterday!Does that count? img src="imagesadultemoticons006.gif"

Did we know it was NOD? No, but seems we celebrated it unknowingly.

Olivers2 you will be very popular with those toys - especially Thomas the Tank

Got to say Luv2, those stats are a bit suspect lol. There are loads of members from Scotland on here, I wonder ow many of them own jiggle balls.

@Wilf ... you sounded in such a tetchy mood yesterday. Did you get your shower? Hope you got over it and feeling more of yourself today ;-) tee hee hee

@Lilith - Yoni massage? pmsl. The queue started last night. I do think you're missing the boat (sorry another boat reference) with the cock exfoliation though. I'm sure it would be a popular treatment.

Also meant to ask: Is cock exfoliation the same thing as feather plucking?

Friskyfella how can you refuse such an offer?

Don't knock it 'till you've tried it ...

Safeandsimple, 'fess up, exactly how did you fake it? I'm really curious how you guys get away with it :-)

Indeed it does Betelgeuse! And, if it doesn't, I'll just officially changed the rules.

Betelgeuse I forgot to ask - have you ever faked an orgasm? I don't mean the self induced kind either because that would be pretty darn silly. ;-)

I so don't get it BTG. Why would you fake a wank orgasm?

@Suechris - lies, damned lies and statistics

Lies, damned lies and statistics

There's nothing quite so sexy as a statistic ...

Tell me Oliver, Do you have a matching Fat Controller ...


Er ... or have I got the wrong Thomas Tank Engine?

I have a useful piece of equipment,for faking an orgasmIt's called a Yamaha Clavinova With just a touch of a few buttons ,I can achieve any effect which takes my fancy.
I was playing a particularly difficult Bach organ toccata in church organ mode the other day and was having trouble with the left hand so I punched in a few chords in the correct key.
The result was fantastic ! Is that what you call faking an orgasm ?img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"
xxxx love from Fetch

Fetch, well done! A skilled musician should always be able to improvise with his instrument of choice *^_^*


Olivers, in that case, I really do think you should keep it.


Frisky, go for it! If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will always settle for ordinary ... or something like that :-)

Frisky - "No way Pedro!"
Sorry, it's the only thing I can remember Del Boy saying.

Well, that and "cushty" but, I don't know what that means.

Luv2suc.Thank you for your comment,Perhaps the answer would be to play Chopin's Minute Waltz.It would be difficult to fake anything in that short time span,however I imagine it would leave toy less than satisfied.
Also a recital of " Flight of the Bumble Bee " might prove tricky in sustaining any sort of control.img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"

I wonder how many would admit to that Darrren. X

Not convinced too many blokes get away with faking it. They're not that good at acting and most women can read them like Kindles.

@Alipop69 ... can read them like Kindles.


Nice one but, clearly not always the case ;-)

I wonder how many guys suspect their female partner has faked it.

Come on guys spill the beans, what were the signs?

Seems there is a fair amount of it going on though Olivers. Just not many people owning up to it. :-)

Only National Orgasm DAY?? I misread read that, thought it said WEEKEND. Does celebrating the Aldeburgh Carnival count as well then or have I used next years quota too? And if its only one orgasm then I'm truly fucked until the next millennium. What's a girl supposed to do though if her blog dreams come true??
Thanks Oscar, Scout & Dee for exhausting me in the most enjoyable way this weekend.
Kitty xxx

¥OscarnKitty, that carnival looks great (thumbs up for Google). Given the fact that you have picked this blog up a few weeks late, and you seem to have had a fun weekend, I would agree, you may well be fucked until the next millennium ;-)

The most interesting stat I heard about National Orgasm Day was that each orgasm uses 200 calories. I did a quick mental calculation on whether I could give up my morning run. I reckon I need another 4 sexual partners :(