9:21 am Monday, 19th November, 2018
This week, the world is going bonkers for a bargain during the Black Friday madness. Personally, I think finding a saucy steal can give the same satisfaction as a good pounding (I can’t be alone thinking that...right?).
With a huge amount of the global population looking to find plenty of hot deals this Friday, we thought we’d look into some of the world’s most expensive and swankiest sex toys around that might make you want to splash the cash...if you’re a millionaire, that is.
Use them as shiny restraints during a sex session, or perhaps pursue a career as the horny King Midas of the police force.
We all know that anyone can cram beads in their ass, but when you can afford to fork over 430 bucks for the privilege, you want it to mean something. "In mythology, these pearls were thought to be the crystallised tears of Aphrodite and symbolic of love and wisdom through experience." See the difference the background information makes? Shut up and take my money!
There's a good chance you already have a mirror in your house, so why should you spend over a grand and a half on one that's only used for watching yourself rub one out? Well, it's got a little stand thingy to keep it propped up and aimed at your crotch. So there's that at least.
We're told this spanker's "anatomic handle" improves its "grip and overall balance." That sounds more like the description of a golf club or a sports car, but those are apparently the keywords you need to get anyone to spend over three grand on...well...a stick.
Before today, we thought "diamond-encrusted sex toy" was a derogatory term for a man who a woman marries for his money and sexual prowess. Yet this "decadent" platinum vibrator is encrusted with 28 diamonds on what we sincerely hope is not the business end.
This "unicorn" butt plug is made with an actual horse's mane, providing you maximum realism when you feel like lodging a shaft of solid silver in your rectum to role-play as a mythological creature.
This little beauty is made of 18-karat gold and marabou feathers and looks suspiciously like a duster. It really is a shame that those extra six dollars put it just out of my budget. My fancy shall have to remain untickled!
This isn't just a means to an orgasm, it's a down payment on a house. This white gold vibrating wonder comes with a diamond engagement ring in the middle of the two components, which unscrews to give her the most NSFW proposal the world has ever seen.
The makers describe the King Cobra as "the most exclusive cock ring on the globe." Considering it takes 100 hours for an award-winning master silversmith to make one by hand, we won't argue.
An Australian jeweller put his many years of expertise to use and created the world's most expensive schlong. Sapphires, pearls, platinum, and over 1,000 diamonds combine to make the gaudiest, and likely the least comfortable sex toy humanity has ever seen. Sir, we salute you.
So folks, what do you think? Is such splurging on sex toys quite unreal, or would you spend your dough on a diamond dildo or two if the opportunity arose? Share with us in the comments.
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8:31 am Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
Every black friday.... i buy myself a drink and fuck my GF that's it for me..!! |
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8:40 am Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
very amusing but the most valuable thing u might provide is those toys that are regarded as simply best in class |
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9:03 am Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
Maybe I'd get the handcuffs as a special gift for someone but forger the rest of it thats just insane! Hahhah ?? |
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11:19 am Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
All great toys, but except for maybe the handcuffs too elaborate for the average person. |
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12:58 pm Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
At $325 the handcuffs are probably gold plated. Pics would have been nice, now I'll have to wonder what a $1,000,000 schlong looks like!!! |
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4:52 pm Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
Very nice |
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10:36 pm Thursday, 22nd November, 2018
Can you but me the cock ring. Wait a minute I already have one I call it my old lady's mouth. And it's cheaper |
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2:34 pm Saturday, 24th November, 2018
I want sex toy |
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4:23 pm Sunday, 25th November, 2018
Would love to see pictures of all of these luxuries toys... |
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10:24 am Wednesday, 2nd November, 2022
More of this! 🤩 |
