11:24 am Tuesday, 23rd October, 2018
As it is coming up to the fright fest that is Halloween, we are all about the things that will make you scream this month. The very things that send erections and arousal running off into the darkness. As part of this, we wanted to share some hilarious tales of boning sessions that came to a horrifying end. Turn the lights off, sit back and enjoy. Let’s hope any screams in the night for you are the orgasmic kind. Wooooooo!
On a night out with a bunch of friends, one woman got flirting with a pretty hot guy at the bar. He seemed keen to take her back to his place to continue their steamy encounter, and since she was recently single and horny, she didn't want to miss this opportunity to get it on with this very sexy man. On arriving at his place, she was surprised to find he had a wife and, if that wasn’t enough of a surprise, his wife was also ready for the two of them to jump into bed for a threesome. Although this may turn some people on, she ran out the door and never saw the guy again.
After dating a guy for a few weeks, it was finally time to get frisky between the sheets. Things started to heat up quickly and, wanting to make the night one to remember, she thought she would show him her amazing blowjob skills. Moving down on the guy she got a strong smell of cologne that intensified the lower she got to his manhood. On arrival and not wanting to disappoint for their first time, she started sucking him. Suddenly her mouth was full of cologne, her mouth, eyes, and nose started to burn and stream. She couldn't get the smell and taste out of her mouth and nose for days.
A man decided to surprise his lover with a flower. He plucked a Geranium from the garden and inserted the stem down his rigid member. Unfortunately, the hairy fibres on the stem tore his urethra to shreds. A trip to the hospital to discover the poor guy needed to have surgery. Hopefully next time he’ll just use a vase.
It was the first time for a new couple, and he was doing her doggy style on his big brass bed with poles going across the headboard. In the heat of the moment, and unbeknown to her, the force of his thrusts has forced her head between the poles. Feeling tired she goes to move her head and realises her head is stuck between the poles. Starting to panic at the thought of firefighters having to come and save her, she pulls her head to no avail. Her date at this point is in no situation to help as he is now rolling around with laughter. Luckily her head comes out but leaves two little bruises as a reminder.
Wanting to spice their relationship up, a couple decides to add a new massage candle into the mix, Cinnamon flavour! With erotic essential oils and warming sensations, it all feels amazing, up until her partner decides to drip the warm spice infused wax onto her exposed clit. Within a few seconds what was a seriously hot and horny session turns into intense pain and definitely not a kinky good pain. To make things worse, they decided to add a bit of bondage to the play, so she now has a burning vagina and no escape. Scrambling to untie herself she breaks out and runs to the bathroom for a long and cold bath.
Going round to his girlfriend's new flat for the first time, she’s got her lip and tongue pierced, which he finds incredibly sexy and a massive turn on. In the midst of a mind exploding blowjob the ball end screws off her lip piercing exposing the sharp end of the bar, proceeding to cut his cock in 3 different places. His girlfriend’s new housemate hears him bucking and shouting like a distressed donkey and decides now is the time to come in the room and investigate. To make the whole situation more awkward and confusing, said housemate, who seemed a normal guy, is standing in the doorway and dressed in a short leather skirt, tube top, high heels and a blonde wig.
Do you have a hilarious sex story that turned into a nightmare? Let us know in the comments below to give us a good laugh ;-)
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4:44 pm Tuesday, 23rd October, 2018
Dominant females only |
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7:50 am Thursday, 25th October, 2018
Used to live at my mums years back. Took my fairly new girlfriend home, not the first time. Got a little frisky, then suddenly mum comes walking in with sausage sandwich's for us both...oops. |
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5:08 pm Thursday, 25th October, 2018
I am ready |
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4:55 am Friday, 26th October, 2018
On their wedding night, two of my close friends were consummating the marriage. Having some difficulty with entering his new bride, my friend reached for the vaseline. He applied it liberally to himself, and to his wife's vagina. Within a few minutes, they both realized that it was Mentholatum, and not vaseline. Her comment was that she had the hottest box in town that night. |
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7:58 pm Friday, 26th October, 2018
caveinsub.... ?? dude you were screwing chuckky |
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7:48 pm Monday, 29th October, 2018
live action kinky sex |
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8:23 am Monday, 5th November, 2018
?????? |
