advice please xxxxxx

my partner of 12 years wants me to start wife swapping and going to swinging clubs.
i did quite fancy the idea and bought some revealing clothes for the occasions
he isnt the type of lovey dovey fella who shows affection or is tactile unless he wants sex, and when we tried looking for a couple to swap with i got cold feet.
I realised what i needed was affection and attention from him to build myconfidence, and he couldnt or wouldnt understand what i meant.
he said if i really wanted to swing i wouldnt need that off him.
i think he is being selfish and wont try to understand it is for a woman whether shes wiling or not to take part in these activities.
im disabled so it makes me more scared than most ithink, the fear of meeting someone and them walking away or going to a club and being ignored.
ive told him that if he bothers with me it would boost my confidence and he wont, so we end up arguing and me getting angry and insulting through frustration,
he thinks i should just get on with it.,
can any other women tell me what they think please?
how does your partner treat you in your relationship.

RE:RE:advice please xxxxxx

^ i think that as well, if you don't want to do it then don't do it, I personally would never let another guy touch my girlfriend that way but you know..