Invasion of the blog jackers

Aaaarrrgghhhhhhhhhh !!!!

Give me a woman who can make a good Shepherd's Pie and I'm putty in her hands !

Find me a man who is brave enough to eat what I cook and I'll make sure he's far from putty in my hands :-)

Veey good Luv2Suc ! When are you going to invite me round for egg and chips ? xxxx

Sorry but I thought all the time the "F" word was about FEET as it seems it is the thing on fashion these days img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Having said that chicken feet r a delicacy in China img src="imagesadultemoticons025.gif"

Ok now u cant complain. I included the F word and food all in one bundle...LOL

Welcum: I promise to behave :-)

FFP, jellyfish is a delicacy in china too.....
It is explains why "I'm a celebrity" was a flop in china, to the chinese it was more like "Come dine with me".

Skebbie, so many women will be disappointed at the revelation that your gonna behave!

Woohoo Debo, at last i'm on the right track as i practically live on fruit and veg . Though do have to intake a small amount of protein twice a day to enable me to avoid side effects from meds i'm taking. Have been cheating by drinking a protein shake as eating protein first thing in the morning then again last thing at night doesn't sit well with me.

I do have a fave.....STRAWBERRIES, though needless to say i do love teaming said strawberries with champagne Mmmm yummy!!! :-) x

PS what the heck is wrong with the word 'FECK' Skebbie?

I suspect that many people would find kissing a person whose diet comprises a high proportion of raw fish and seaweed abhorrent :-)

Hahahaha...now I will sound absolutely horrible but what about garlic and onions?

And Skebbie...Is it my imagination or u r talking about food? LOL

I told you I was going to behave :-)

Re: Feck

It sounds like a total cop-out. That's what's wrong with it. A sort of feeble sanitized version of the real McCoy.

PS: Am I still behaving satisfactorily ? :-)

PPS: I've noticed my blogs are never featured on the home page. Why is that I wonder :-) ???

Will do.

Skebbie, seems it is me that has misbehaved!
It seems that feck is acceptable however füçk isnt!!!
Maybe it was the amount of them i used, maybe twelve in one post was a little excessive but it is just a great word.

Deborose, are you suggesting there are those that eat cigarettes?
I do agree with you about smoking but i wont make my thoughts known that kissing a smoker is like licking a dirty ashtray, just in case i offend....again (can't believe they deleted my post listing the worlds greatest f*cks!!!!)
As for you taste like your diet, maybe some of you will recall an experiment conducted a few years ago to see if it was possible to make semen taste like your diet....
According to the tasters it apparently does.
That is why, living in Essex, i find it useful to live on a diet of chips, kebab and bacardi breezers....

Here,here Deborose as i agree it reminds me of Father Ted, though it reminds me more of my old grandfather who was Irish used to hear it often when he was in the garden or his shed pottering around. So really i don't give a fiddlers feck who doesn't like it.
Hmm, What can i say......I can at times curse like a trooper, but always say please and thank you in all the right places, just like a like a saint" I suppose i'm just complicated :-) x

PS my spellcheck likes to change 'FECK' to Neck but i'm keeping my eye on the tricky little 'Fecker' spellcheck thingy :-) x

The word Fuck is featured in the Oxford English Dictionary ... not sure why it has been considered offensive enough to remove any comments that use it. Where's the consistency?

i can only think of three reasons why i was censored -
1 - the post was submitted at six thirty am, well before the watershed
2 - "The worlds best fucks list" was deemed too offensive....is it too soon after king Harold's death to make a joke about "one of those arrows will take someone's fucking eye out"
3 - The blog fairy is upset with me referring to her as Mary Whitehouse.

Anyway, enough about Feck and Fuck....
i wanna know if Deborose is implying that a smokers 'arry tastes like a dirty ashtray too?
having not tasted anyone's Gentleman's relish before, i am intrigued to know.

I am now curious if it has the same effect on women?

F= Ferrero Roche for me.
Not met a lady yet who can resist - the chocs !!

SueC, I think you're right. I'm thinking more on the lines of Lego bricks.
The point I made at 5am was that there is an appropriate 'fuck' to be found for most occasions: Fuck this; fuck that; fuck you; fuck me are just a few examples :-) It's one of the most versatile words of the 21st Century.

Giving up alcohol? Hmmm, not sure that is too big a price to pay.
For the right person i would give up more than just alcohol.

Deborose: She must have been offering a good deal there...Give up alcohol and fast food and get me covered in strawberries and chocolate????

I was told about the merits of pineapple and its sweetening effects on gentleman's relish some years ago, so long ago in fact that I wasn't calling it gentleman's relish back then as I recall lol, by shall we just say a connoisseur of the same and it would seem there are other health benefits to be gained from pineapples!!;0)) But one word of warning before we all think about rushing down to our local supper markets and clearing their shelves of pineapples and pineapple juice, a lot of the good and bad to do with pineapple is down to the bromelain contained in pineapples, it interacts with a range of medical conditions and medications and even with some herbal medications. So if you, or your partner is on medication, better to check before forcing it down them, or yourself, like there's no tomorrow. Still I can think of much less rewarding risks to run and hopefully you get to say, "he died doing what he loved doing best"..........."ME lol, he was a good sweet man that was certainly good and sweet right down to his very last sweet droplet on my adoring, loving tongue". :0())

Cant beat the taste of pineapple after a good BJ

If you cant drink pineapple juice, or even if you can there's always water, obviously it doesn't sweeten, but does add to the quantity and consistency of seminal fluid being ejaculated. so the consistency can be a good indication of hydration, or dehydration, so if you really want to splash out on that extra special pearl necklace you've been promising the special lady in your life, best to keep your hydration levels up. ;0))

If your drink of choice is wine, remember red is better for you than white and for the same reason as red grapes are better for you than white grapes, its because the darker the grape the more antioxidants are present in the grapes.

That supposed old wives tell that we were all told about if you masturbate too much your go blind, turns out there is a little truth to that after all, for men at least, because every time you ejaculate you lose zinc amongst other things, but our eyes need zinc too, so if you over do it without getting enough zinc in your diet to replace what your losing when you ejaculate your eyes will suffer in the long run............ Remember that the next time you go looking for your glasses lol

So there *is* some truth in the old adage that wanking will make you go blind ? :-)

Does being neutered make any difference to the taste?
Not to be too crude, it is then equivalent to jaffa orange; all juice and no pips.

And if pineapple is so good, would drinking pina colada's improve the flavour more?

As for wanking, every time you shoot it reduces your chances of testicular cancer.
So the health benefits really need to be weighed up.....personally i find my guide dog to be a great companion.

Clearly, Welcum, you have a lot of research ahead of you. Good luck with that. :-)

Was wondering whether there was also a reverse correlation between wanking frequency and prostate cancer incidence.
Tell you what......keep wanking for 20 years and then let us know if have either of those cancers. You might win the Nobel prize for medicine.

Great Scott Skebbie, i think your right!
I do believe it is prostrate cancer it prevents, i was talking bollocks....
I have the new advertising slogan for the NHS..
"A wank a day keeps the doctor away" or "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON WANKING"
I will email my idea to them today, I think it may catch on...

My alternative slogan would be don't forget your 5 a week, or 5 + a week, for a healthy prostate. I'm pretty sure this is good advice, but what annoys the hell out of me is I can't seem to go a day without seeing an advert somewhere for remember your five a day, fruit & vegetables which by the way is wrong, its more like double that, but the powers that be think if they told people, especially people that struggle to eat just one, or two would just turn off and not even try. But our chances of seeing a 5 a week slogan anytime soon I'd put at about zero. Imagine the outcry from the Catholic church for just one reason they will never run my add campaign lol. Remember guys, if you don't use it your lose it as the saying goes.

suechris - Yes that sounds perfectly fine, but would suggest finding a good source of protein & zinc to go with, perhaps if Chris supplied the protein filling, Sue would find the zinc easy to find & get to grips with it in no time, cum what may I'm sure. I'm sure your work it out with a happy out cum & ending lol. ;0())

LillieG - I bet you have a good taste in everything, you little sweetie ;0)

I sense the beginning of a zinc fetish.

Sorry suechris - I didn't mean any offence, just my little carry on humor, cumming out. Sorry I can't seem to stop today, I will have to take a leaf out of Skebbies book & try to be a good boy, but like I tell or my partners, when I'm good I'm good, but when I'm bad, I'm even better lol. Think I might be getting worse & not better as now quoting May West. Ffs :0))

Sorry LillieG - That should have read. I'm sure you have great taste in everything ;0))

S&C - That's another good alternative, just as long as you make sure that it isn't made from lead, or aluminum, as both are very bad for your long term health if ingested. Dementia & Alzheimer's being just two of the possible outcomes. :0((

So Yes Skebbie, I'm a zinc fan & fetishist & proud of it. Thanks for outing me here so publically lol.. Makes a mental note to return the favor, sometime lol. ;0)

Suechris, never put youdown as the zinc bath type, more the gold bath sort.
along with a golden shower.

Sue, I adored Hyacinth Bucket ! ( I had a truly wonderful time with a younger version ) Please check out Patricia Routledge on YuoTube performing " I want to sing in opera " The comedy is sublime.

And while I'm at it, may I mention that any comparison between my photo and Onslow, would not be welcome !

Hey Chocolatelover,
Long time no see.....
Don't panic, this is a censorship free blog.
You wanna talk about shaved chocolate coated pandas, go aheead, fill yer boots.

Lostman,
Try the garlic diet. I did and lost four freinds.
The Dr put me on a special diet, he siad it may be difficult to follow but its ok to cheat occasionally.
So tonight i am shagging my wifes best friend.
But i do have this irrational fear of those high fibre diets, they literally scare me shitless!

Wow,
just realised that when the mouse hovers over the avatars in the likes bar, it displays the text header of your profile....
I may need to revisit my profile, it may get me a reputation!!!!

There's only one thing you need...Funky Cold Medina. Just be careful out there!

Funky Cold Medina....Tone Loc, great song from the 80's with an even better video..
Not a patch though on the video for the Prodigy's "Smack my bitch up",
Nothing like a good bit of BDSM to make a music video more interesting

"I don't give a shit what Frankie says"
Or so said my T-Shirt

Duran Duran's Girls on Film video was also banned by the Beeb, unsurprisingly.
Don't know why but i have had a thing for shaving foam and pillow fights since fist seeing the video.

FYI. Duran Duran got their name from a character from the film Barberella.....Ahhh, Jane Fonda in that silver dress.

Shit, Did i leave the web cam on when i was spanking the monkey!!!img src="imagesadultemoticons002.gif"

Okay, so what so wrong with my post about Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Relax. Its been taken down, said I broke some guidelines, or other, but can't think what apart from advertising their great record & video, but I'm not the only one doing that, so why pic on the new guy.... I think they just need to chill & RELAX a bit more lol, or at the very least, pic on some other poor sod!!:0((

Ha Indepth - I'm guessing his hips did lie then, although to be fair, perhaps he was still the tallest in that area. Just wondering how he measured up against you, you could have suffocated the poor little, dirty chancer, sorry, I mean dancer lol img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"

Hey Tom,
Mary Whitehouse must be on duty tonight.
Obviously a song about gay sex is just too offensive for more than just the Beeb.

Yes & it wasn't a very Welcumdistraction, let me tell you. I've got whiplash now as my new 4K 3D screen was a bit too realistic for my liking, especially that bit right at the end when you pulled your funny sex face with that god awfully noise, that poor bloody monkey is all I'm saying, also put me right of my chicken & chips..

Next time do what I do & stick something over the camera, the best hackers in the world haven't yet got the technology to hack tape. :0))

Welcumdistraction - Gay sex you say? That will teach me not to listen to the lyrics of songs, or get my styleoutfit tips from music videos for that matter, that explains why I got all those funny looks in church during the mid eighties. I just thought everyone was staring at my bad acne.

Lafigona, welcome to the world of confusing blogs and confused member... lol....

Tom,
At least that means that you never wore a shell suit back then.

Lafigona,
Although fucking is a great word, most people on this site do not have any issues with it.
Unfortunately Food is what upset some,

FFP,
Confusing blogs....yes, guilty as charged.
Confused. Never..
well I think, maybe...yes, yes, yes, yes, erm no, that I am sure of, i'm sure I am.....what was the question again?
Ahh, that was it....yes, it's armadillos.
Is it medication time yet?

Ahh, the old canned spray cream.
A million and one uses and none of them culinary.

Ahh, the old canned spray cream.
A million and one uses and none of them culinary.

Oh......"garden" ! Right....... :-) The metaphorical one :-) Thought you meant you'd sprayed your string beans and toms with the stuff in the hope it would deter insect pests. Thought there might be something in it, so was just about to try it myself.......when the penny dropped. I can be so innocent at times. Maybe I've been away from UK too long..............

Skebbie,
I too thought garden meant garden until i read the other blogs.
I now have images of spray creamed clematis in my head.

more so, why is she covering it in spray cream???
wow, there are some really odd fetishes out there!

Pedal cycles are better for fitness, I'm told, but they're not so good for haemorrhoids.