So recovering from a really bad past can break someone down very easily. I know because I have been on this boat for quite some time. The only reason why I choose to move on is because I have the love and respect of my SO - the love of my life, my PL, my Bukol, my Sapibornok..
Of course there would be the usual recurrences of the bad memories.. and it worries you and kills you when you're not together, that he may be wandering around again just like before.. you just want to scream and shout how painful everything feels and throw anything that you see around you or go the other route and do a food binge out - eating whatever makes you feel better.
But since I decided to stay and work it out, it is but fitting that I give my partner the benefit of the doubt.. I have to truly feel in my heart that I forgave him and that we are worth fighting for.. I am really thankful that he has been very supportive of my questions and he has been open about everything with me after the storm.. I hope someday I am able to wake up and find no more hate inside me.. no more bitterness and eventually forgive them for hurting me and forgive myself for being so spiteful.
I apologize if I bored some of you because of my post.. I just wanted to let it all out.. Have a great weekend y'all! :)
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11:48 pm Saturday, 29th August, 2015
Its nice to see that hope springs eternal.
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4:18 am Monday, 31st August, 2015
I have found,as will you,that the human spirit is resilient. Time is not a panacea as those who say " it heals all " would suggest but it does put experiences from the past into handleable proportions. Some thirty plus years ago,I wondered if the ghastliness of war would predominate for ever in my mind. I have learned to deal with it and despite having the occasional bad dream, have moved on and keep looking at the good things of life which surround me. You will too ! xx |
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4:20 pm Sunday, 22nd November, 2015
If you're willing, bbw14, let's talk sometime. The male half of Couple ButterSauce does convotherapy on the side. :) |
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4:10 pm Tuesday, 23rd February, 2016
No problem. Just let us know, if ever. :) |
