Just GOT to love the site

10:38 am Sunday, 14^th December, 2014

Just GOT to love the site!

Where would I be without the site? Am currently lady down with flu and there are only a certain amount of things a lady can do alone under a duvet for three days! So thankfully the Hub and its plethora of members (pun intended) is always there 24/7 to keep my spirits up…

Todays conundrum is what does NSA mean?

I learnt many many years ago my “F’s” and that life is fleeting and fickle as well as fun, frustrating, fulfilling and many more F words…
But I digress… so back to the letters NSA - I naively thought it meant No Strings Attached… which in itself left me a little disappointed as there have been occasions when a little string attached to a specific part (or parts) of my body has bought me great pleasure.

The Urban Dictionary defines NSA as “Being in a relationship with someone, while still dating other people. This is so there is not anxiety of worrying about where him or her is or what him or her is doing.”

My own experience, opinions and every changing emotions evolve and I thought I had a good grip on what NSA meant – until recently when my site life (now living in UK for 8mths as opposed to living in a desert region for 14 years) became more active (although still no meets that have resulted in physical pleasure)

In my limited site experience I have found that most men claim to want NSA but the reality is that their NSA becomes one sided… on their side! That age old stereo type where men who play the field and enjoy the fruits of life is still alive and well and ON the site!. On the other hand women who have a healthy sexual appetite or an eagerness to explore, express and explode are still frowned upon, they are viewed as slappers and loose…

And THOSE two words are a tad too close to the bone for this Submissive… as anyone who has chatted with me will know that a good slap on my backside is what I am after (still yet to receive!) and that loose does NOT apply to either my values, morals or my oyster!

For me personally NSA works in that I am not after a 24/7 relationship… I have lived alone for more than 15 years and my time alone and my home (cave and safe haven) is what is most precious to me. I try not to be insecure and time demanding or high maintenance (but give me a break I am a woman and a Pisces one at that – so self-doubt sneaks in!). I have been in very dysfunctional relationships and have no desire to get back into one. But then again I am not into racking up one night stands or ticking off some daft wish list that I wrote….

So no connection or real connection physical or emotional will be made without doing some fairly intensive due diligence and – NSA is surely a mature adult way of testing the water safely…. Not demands…expectations…explanations or judgment?

Or have I lost the plot AGAIN? And do I need to take some more Lemsip to clear my foggy brain?

Comments

Skebbie	11:53 am Sunday, 14^th December, 2014 In attempting to address the issue of NSA, it's probably worth pointing you in the direction of my "All's Fair in Love and War" blog, which seems to be one of the few that admin have allowed to stand recently :-) As stated there, I do think that men are more comfortable about NSA than women, but perhaps the reasons lie in biological hard-wiring and evolution, rather than an exclusively male tendency to be callous and irresponsible shag-abouts :-) Women have more at stake when they elect to mate, and that is undeniable. Another thing is that sex actually creates strings, even though people may prefer not to think so. Therefore you could argue that the term "NSA sex" is almost an oxymoron. Personally I prefer a term like "friend with benefits" or simply "occasional lover". The nature of such a connection is that it is constantly evolving according to each individual's life stage and personal circumstances, and the types of people chosen at any particular point will differ accordingly. For example, if you are your 60s-70s, simple companionship may play a much more significant role than sex, whereas young people who are dripping in hormones would tend to be more into simple rutting :-) However, the other side of the coin is that for a younger person who has perhaps never had a long-term "responsible and committed" relationship (and by long term I mean at least 5-10 years), there is a lot more at stake and a lot more expectation that things might develop into something solid. Therefore there is a much higher potential for jealousy, disappointment, and dissatisfaction if your emotional investment is deep (and of course younger people tend to be more idealistic and passionate). I'm not sure I agree that - in modern society, and especially on sites like this - women who are sexually adventurous are regarded as loose or "slutty". I would venture to suggest that men (or women) who condemn in this way are narrow-minded and stuck in a historical and cultural rut. I appreciate your point about NSA (or FWB) being a way to test potential partners for more committed connections, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that for some, it is a way of life, or - quite simply - the perfect partner simply never appears.............
Luv2sucU	5:30 pm Sunday, 14^th December, 2014 "occasional lover" I like that.
Slow4u	12:12 am Monday, 15^th December, 2014 I joined a snatch squad, but then I found out the army have a whole different meaning to snatch than I had, so I left ;-)
Slow4u	2:45 am Monday, 15^th December, 2014 Oh well, I always thought they shouldn't be, erm, 'snatched' at anyway, lol. I'm all for the Slow-er approach ;-).
Fetch1	7:13 am Monday, 15^th December, 2014 Firstly, let me wish you better from the Flu Submissive lady.Keep warm and well-wrapped up ( I have experienced a few blows in the Thames Estuary so know the effect it can have on your extremities !)I found the solution was to stay in bed and keep taking a little hunni ! Secondly.Given your prediliction for military uniforms,it may cheer you up and make you laugh to seeing me putting my old No.1 uniform on. Yes, I can still get into it but I'm unable to breathe at the same time ! Thirdly. NSA...I always think this is the best premise to start from Unfortunately, my innate charm and attractiveness has always been a blessing and a curse throughout my life and it has taken a great effort and self-discipline to keep ladies at arms length. (That's all I have to say and I'm off back to the little world of fantasy and self- delusion that I live in ) xxxx
Fetch1	7:13 am Monday, 15^th December, 2014 Firstly, let me wish you better from the Flu Submissive lady.Keep warm and well-wrapped up ( I have experienced a few blows in the Thames Estuary so know the effect it can have on your extremities !)I found the solution was to stay in bed and keep taking a little hunni ! Secondly.Given your prediliction for military uniforms,it may cheer you up and make you laugh to seeing me putting my old No.1 uniform on. Yes, I can still get into it but I'm unable to breathe at the same time ! Thirdly. NSA...I always think this is the best premise to start from Unfortunately, my innate charm and attractiveness has always been a blessing and a curse throughout my life and it has taken a great effort and self-discipline to keep ladies at arms length. (That's all I have to say and I'm off back to the little world of fantasy and self- delusion that I live in ) xxxx
Fetch1	8:52 am Monday, 15^th December, 2014 Ha ha ! Well said Submissive lady ! As for my old uniform, I am an ex-Para and therefore quite familiar with not using my brain ! xxxx

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