Are you free,Mrs Humphries?

11:15 am Wednesday, 5^th November, 2014

Ok,so here is the scenario I recently found myself in,far away from home,in a strange city,hanging around with nothing in particular to do,luckily I had my lifestyle guru on a 24hr retainer so I gave her a call.

Fortunately she takes the call and as always when we converse the time begins to pass quickly,as I explain my situation,adding the fact that I will have to make the arduous journey home long into the small hours she offers me a possible solution (she is,after all,incredibly wise!).
My guru suggests that instead of travelling home late,weary,worn and dishevelled,I should book into a hotel,freshen up,head to the bar and make myself look 'available',see what developes.This brought to mind an image of myself,washed and brushed,heading to the bar in a quality tux (where did that come from?),looking suave.As I walk through the lobby to the bar it's time to start looking available,how do I achieve this?,hang my knob out of the front of my freshly pressed trousers?,no,I think that would say desperate or deranged rather than available and would probably result in a night in the cells instead of any adult fun.
This made me chuckle,how the hell do I achieve the available look?By this time my advisor had had to take her leave (being beautiful,charming and a bona fide genius she is in very high demand),so I was left to ponder this conundrum solo.How could I find a solution?,then the answer hit me...simple,ask my very learned friends in the blogosphere so here goes;-

Chaps,how do you make yourselves look available?

and

Ladies,what says available to you?

Comments

Luv2sucU	6:43 pm Wednesday, 5^th November, 2014 Have to agree, do what you can to avoid looking available. Sends out too many signals to be misinterpreted. On the other hand, an unavailable look with your knob hanging out could provide an interesting result.
Skebbie	5:19 am Thursday, 6^th November, 2014 ....or of course there's always the secret swingers lapel pin 👍
Fetch1	5:50 am Thursday, 6^th November, 2014 I think a sandwich board, suggested by Gillibean is an excellent idea.Why not borrow one from one of those religious nut cases one sees at public gatherings,urging people to repent sins or meet their doom.Alter the wording to read " The End Of The World Is Nigh ! Let's Have A Shag ! " Much more frustrating is the situation I found myself in very recently when a certain lady and myself, found ourselves in a hotel bar. We both knew we were available but ,due to circumstances,were unable to do anything about it ! Grrrr !
Skebbie	7:58 am Thursday, 6^th November, 2014 I don't think looking unavailable and aloof will get you very far if you're blessed with the looks of Quasimodo :-) I would suggest blatant flaunting: Wearing a Hugh Hefner silk dressing gown and ostentatiously sporting a long cigarette holder, you position yourself strategically between the bar and the ladies' loo, leaning seductively against the oak panelling with your other hand on your hip, standing with legs just a tad asplay and your crotch projecting slightly forward provocatively. One should be careful not to look too predatory, but rather adopt a sort of Byron-like "inner sensitivity", glancing at the oil portraits and antique wall decorations with an aesthete's eye. Then, at the right moment, you give any passing woman a condescending glance, and utter the words that are guaranteed to get her pussy foaming in wild abandon: "The bogs are just down there on the right".
Skebbie	12:03 pm Thursday, 6^th November, 2014 Frisky: I gather you need to join the secret society in order to qualify for one (in which case it's free). It's a bit like the Mason's secret handshake, apparently. Perhaps if you inquired via Admin he could see if you qualify for initiation :-)

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