How long does it take you?

I don't think there's much to be gained from comparing notes on this. Whatever works for you is good, and whatever works for other people is good for them too. The problem with discussing this is that unless you claim to require at least 20 orgasms (say) a week, and each exploding within 30 seconds, then somehow you're inadequate in the great scheme of things. If people claim they are at that level, they'll say so because of public peer pressure. Nobody wants to admit they're undersexed on a site like this. (See my blog on "I have a very high sex drive" :-)

LOL I don't see it as an under or oversexed thing, just a matter of curiosity!

Men like to claim they last for ages, and the assertions come up frequently. We, as women, just don't discuss these things (in my sheltered life, anyway).

The topic came up in the chatroom last night, and responses to my brief response were incredulous to ho hum.

I'm not saying it's a matter of being good in bed or not...that has nothing to do with it.

Why is it that we all can discuss men's issues on things like this but not women's?

In fact I never *claim* anything. As SS says, it depends who one is with and the dynamic between two people. That's why I always think male claims are a bit daft, and "what I'm going to do to you" comments and mails frankly hilarious.

It wasn't me...

Not bloomin long at all with someone that i have taken the time to get know making sure as best as possible that we are compatable and have a connection as i do have to feel a connection to a person before i will share such delicious carnal pleasures. To be honest i wouldn't share any intimate mischief with someone unless the switchedturned on my mind as i know full well that unless i feel that connection i will not orgasm.

Now as for DIY.....Hmm i tend to think that we probably reach orgasm sooner when doing a spot of DIY. As rather than shared mutual satisfaction DIY is only a means to an end.Be it for ones own pleasure or merely to ease sexual tension. Hmm though that's only my opinion.

Ooohhhh hell yes Gilli, Sadly i know exactly what you meanimg src="imagesadultemoticons009.gif"

Jeez that should have been compatible....Hmm my mind clearly on other things.

Eroticg, interesting blog, and whilst I'm in the, 'who your with' corner! kudos to you for broaching the subject!

Neither gender talk that openly about the actual specifics of it because we are all different and most of the information we amass about how it should be is fed to us incorrectly, by books, pornos or friends, or worse, repetition. I don't really think men do discuss it anymore than women other than to boast and brag.

I do believe it can't be measured or quantified as it really does depend on the circumstances, the environment, the person your with and a whole myriad of factors that could lead to a partner exploding in seconds flat or never achieving nirvana (as you so poetically put it) at all!

I've had partners that have climaxed simply by kissing, and one that exploded when I kissed and lightly chewed on her left knee! Seriously! I was the only one that had made it happen, it was 'pre' any fore play and only the left one!

I've had past partners ask me what the hell I've done to make them orgasm in the way they have as it's been new, faster or different to anything they have achieved before, I haven't done anything that anyone else couldn't have done, and the only reason I believe is that whoever I've been with have allowed themselves to achieve it!

Now this is only my own personal view, so please don't jump all over me! (Well yes, please do) lol. If one got married at a relatively early age, raised a family. Unless your unfaithful or have a very open minded partner and have experimented, your bedroom antics will have been relatively samey for a lot of years. I'm not saying boring, just standard. You find a particular way of achieving an orgasm and stick to it as it makes sense to repeat what works. Your brain becomes trained in a particular way, and refuses to accept anything else! With a new partner you try to replicate this technique as it's always worked before, it may still work, but the circumstances have changed and if you allow your brain to accept that the old might not be the best, who knows what might happen!

Communication is definitely a key factor, as a few hours unlocking someone's brain is worth a lifetime between the sheets.
img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

By Jove i think he's got it!!
Whooft good for you MYS, very well said. Well it sums me up well anyway. ;-) x

Gillibean really????????????????

Gillibean, Test engineer on his way down to you! img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

Gillibean! A full day of course! Good grief woman these tests take time. There's the preparation, the equipment to set up and calibrate. Countless exhaustive tests to be conducted in all areas (not just the aforementioned elbow). Refreshments then more testing followed by an in-depth summary and conclusion of test results! It's very tiring but well worth the effort! img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

At the risk of going off at a tangent slightly.......some of the above responses have only served to emphasize the importance women place on a mental connection with a guy in order to open up sexually. Although I tend to lambast "what I'm going to do to you" mails, I'm willing to concede that some women do get off on that. However, I would liken it to reading a　bit of racy fiction. It's no coincidence that most of the people who bought 50 shades of bollocks were women, and that in turn has had a spin-off effect on sites like this: just look at the number of women looking or "doms" or wanting to become "dommes" :-)

I make no apology for my cynicism about all that kind of stuff, because I am what I am. However, it has to be said that there is a vast gulf between the written word and what actually happens when two people get together. Fantasy can serve us very well without it having to be translated into flesh :-)

Oops, sorry; did someone say something? I was just busy fantasizing about taking Skebbie over my knee and spanking the hell out of him.

Sometimes fear is a potent aphrodisiac ... mwahahaha img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

(Puts on deep butch voice)........
"No Luv2, dat wouldn't work for me, 'cos am'h Da Master arawand he-ah."
:-)

"Sometimes fear is a potent aphrodisiac"
So if I turned up on your doorstep wearing a black balaclava and carrying an AK47, you'd immediately drop to your knees and thumb down your knickers?? Maybe you should volunteer to help "free" eastern Ukraine and turbo-charge your sex life :-)

Newbies: You mean you orgasm just by reading texts, without any manual assistance? Blimey, it sounds positively Pavlovian. I suppose if I could be programmed to climax simply by looking at the word "shag" (for example), it would save me a lot of effort, although I can see that in certain everyday situations it might have some drawbacks.

Skebbie, I think if you arrived on luvs doorstep wearing a black bali and holding onto a kalash, it sure as hell wouldn't be a thumb filling her knickers!!!!! img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Skeb, that mind programming sounds peoper dodgy, especially if a new stair carpet was in the offing or doing a deal on a few ounces of pipe smoking material. ..just think of the mess!

Curvy: I suppose the sheer volume of my media would prevent me from being viewed as "mysterious". Does this mean that my "mystique" is severely impaired I wonder?? :-(

DrZook: Indeed, I suppose the concept could be extended to a variety of scenarios. From a sort of "Manchurian Candidate" viewpoint, a key word that could elicit instant climax would be a lot more practical and conducive to world peace than any politico-military application ;-)

The long (and mostly tedious) 'what I'd do to you' stories always seem like a right waste of time and actually show a lack of imagination. What would happen if they actually followed their own script and the object of their affection didn't actually like what they were doing? Would they actually notice or would they juat carry on regardless? And if they did notice would they be able to think on the hoof of something different to try?

Miss Goodnight ( cough,cough,clears throat ) " Guide me O thou great redeemer,pilgrim through this barren land.I am weak but thou art mighty ,guide me with thy prefect hand " ..my sense of direction is not what it used to me !img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif"

I suspect Fetch has had several already before the sun's over the yardarm :-)

DrZook: Exactly. I think they have a pre-planned agenda and will attempt to carry it out irrespective of circumstance :-)

Skebbie! Lol.

"Err, I think I must point out that there are three men at the bottom of the bed, pointing rifles at our heads!"
"Yes, yes, ok only two more minutes of fingering left, then onto the serious tongue lashing I promised you! "Let's keep within the timescale eh? So much more to get on with, busy, busy busy!"img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Yeah, sorry Skebbie - I meant to say 'inflicting' fear can be a potent aphrodisiac.
That being said, your weapon brandishing scenario was interesting; I've dropped to my knees for less ;-)

I always carry a pair of knee pads in my bag. You just never know when you'll need them. I was a Girl Guide - always prepared.

Samuel....I think I am going to take you up on your offer and discuss a few more issues in depth with you! :) :)

I have found that if every thing is right then you will peak as many times as you need to be satisfied. I love playing withteasing my girl until she lets me know it is the correct time to enter. I usually manage to last and take her further than she thought she wantedneeded, but not always. On these occasions I return to tongue and digits or whatever she needs. In short, if your partner and you are in tune enough to admit enoughnot enoughdo this or thator not , you should be satisfied whenever. I think we have all also had times when we just cannot get off, whatever we do and we need to accept those and live the others.

Actually, Liith, I had to hesitate before "liking" your post because unsure whether that would have been an appropriate response. If there was a separate button to indicate I sympathized with someone's situation, then I would have used it.

.....or England ? :-)

.....which brings us back to the sheer potency of raw mystique, which, as we all know, gets all the wrong people coming running ;-) (cough, cough......sherry fumes..........)

I can't speak for other men of course, but personally I get great pleasure from giving lots of oral attention to a woman's pussy. I just love the intimacy, the fragrance, and the taste. It's like heaven and the lady has no need to panic about cumming. Just lay back and enjoy it. Surely it must give you some pleasure!!

Sex is always a mutual thing, (for most of us anyway) and shagging a woman just for personal satisfaction is a bit of a hollow victory. Surely it doesn't matter if the woman doesn't cum as long as she enjoys it without a feeling of guilt. Any decent man would try another route for her to try and achieve satisfaction. Sometimes it just won't happen.

How many women have failed when DIY 'ing, I know that wanking myself is no guarantee of satisfaction!!!

I'm a dab hand at screwing, how about you?? The longer the screw the better!

Every woman should have a toolkit. ..

A well lubricated tool never squeaks!

Proper penetrating oil better than wd40, more lubrication. ..

Lubricates parts other oils cannot reach!!

If it ain't rocol it ain't no good!

Time is relative. ..

And is is not better to have good and quick rather than slow and tedious? Time is money!

No rush at all wilf...but there seems to be the idea that it's all about the time it takes rather than how good it is. From what I can see we seem to be in agreement, cos I'm not paying neither!