Wednesday hump day hilarities

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.


You’re an American in the living room, so what’re you in the bathroom? European


There was a wife who texted her husband a romantic message... She wrote: “I love you. If you wake up, send me your dreams. If you laugh, send me your smile. If you eat, send me a bite. If you drink, send me a sip. If you cry, send me your tears.” Then her husband texted: “I’m on the toilet, advice please.”


The other day I was at a fancy dinner party… When I farted loudly. One of the guests objected indignantly, “How dare you fart in front of my wife!” I responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that it was her turn next.”


When a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name, what does it mean? You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.


It has been a long time since I’ve had sex… It almost seems like my virginity is returning




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