Six feet tall, fair hair though tingeing grey! Hazel eyes, 12 and a half stone, athletic build.
Somewhat elderly, infirm and feeble-minded bloke usually able to travel as long as the bicycle tyre stays up. (that's usually about 35 minutes of fierce pedalling).
Has a full set of waterproofs for when the weather is inclement and has had little pegs fitted to the hub of the back wheel to transport lucky ladies around. (unfortunately, has no waterproofs for the lucky lady, but can provide a dustbin liner if notice is given well in advance).
Interests include spying on neighbours, burning effigies, peering from under wide brimmed hats, chav spotting, crab racing, barbarian slaying, frog warbling and heckling social workers.
I have a comprehensive collection of pebbles - some of which are autographed.
I sit on the World Expert Panel as the leading authority on zip up tartan carpet slippers with a little red bobble on the toe.
I have a full set of teeth, some of which are my own, though others are on loan from a circular saw.
Both eyes work, unlike my ex wife!
I have discovered cures for the Common Cold, Flatulence and Herpes, unfortunately, I suffer from Alzheimers and have forgotten them.
I admire many women, usually through night-sight binoculars, and have only received a mere handful of restraining orders. Big Ethel, however, took matters into her own hands and it was a while before I could chew solid foods again - and all because I was late arriving to view her.
I rarely wear suede shoes after an unfortunate incident when dancing the Charleston when they stuck together like velcro - the casualty count was very high but I was found Not Guilty of Reckless Footwork at the subsequent trial.
I hoover in the nude, though only when doing the car outside.
Favourite foods are mostly edible and drinks usually liquid.
Favourite groups include the Mongol Horde, Visigoths and Attilla's Huns.
I own two houses on Old Kent Road and one on Vine Street, together with Marylebone Station and the Water Works so you can see I'm not short of a bob or two, besides which, I am only three spaces from passing GO again and collecting another 200 smackers.
My pets are a German Shepherd bitch, an Irish Red Setter dog and upwards of two million ants, though I do keep the ants in the front yard - the ants are no bother though and I don't even have to put them in kennels when I am away.
I have a telephone, a kettle and a sherbet dibdab and I can usually be found in chat if you are not careful.
I don't answer private messages in chat, unless they're from the Mothership.
I am very well endowed sexually, my dad having left me an impressive collection of porno mags and films.
Loves toys of a sexual nature and has made many from Lego, Sticklebricks, plasticine and paper mache.
No face pic on profile because of the warning I received from the webmaster.
My job is top secret, even I don't know what it is.
I'm no longer looking for females and a miracle, being here just to annoy some folks in chat and to talk to the friends I have on here.
Seeking Couple, Female
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| Gender | Male | |
| Age | 67 | |
| Location | UK, England: Nottinghamshire, Newark | |
| 🌈 Sexuality | Straight | |
| 🌎 Ethnicity | White / Caucasian | |
| 🚬 Smoke | Yes | |
| 🍷 Drink | Socially | |
| 💊 Drugs | No | |
| 🛡️ Safe Sex | Sometimes | |
| 📏 Height | 6ft (183 cm) | |
| ⌛ Body Type | Athletic | |
| 👱 Hair Colour | Blonde | |
| 🦵 Body hair | Trimmed | |
| 🎨 Tattoos | I've got some | |
| Friends | Donatello3, stands3 | |