I don't necessarily need to be here for this
I'm going to keep the headphones up
Motherfucker, I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Motherfucker, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
You know my pants sag low, even though
That went out of style like ten years ago
Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
I got little biceps, getting fatter in the middle
And lyrically I'm not the best
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet
So preposterous, feel the awesomeness
The most obnoxious guest up at the sausage-fest
Oh yes, the girls are repulsed
So I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult
I'm as nervous as my cat Ol' Dirty Curtis
All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased
Me? I'll never date an actress, got too many back zits
Plus my whole home-aroma is cat piss
Every show I do is poorly promoted
And if you like this it's 'cause my little sister wrote it
I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Motherfucker, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall, I'm awesome
Check it out, I'm from Maine and I don't hunt
(Nope)
And I can't ski, smoke weed but I can't roll blunts
Find me whipped by my wifey, my neck not icy
Eatin' at McDonalds because Subway's pricey
Seeking Couple, Female
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| Gender | Male |
| Age | 45 |
| Location | Ireland, Waterford, Waterford |
| 🌈 Sexuality | Straight |
| 🌎 Ethnicity | White / Caucasian |
| 🚬 Smoke | No |
| 🍷 Drink | Socially |
| 💊 Drugs | No |
| 🏠 Meet At | Your place |
| 📏 Height | 6ft (183 cm) |
| ⌛ Body Type | A few extra pounds |
| 👱 Hair Colour | Dark Brown |
| 🦵 Body hair | Natural |