"But I being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams beneath your feet; tread softly, because you tread on my dreams. "
UPDATED (8192017)
OUTSIDE OF THE LIFESTYLE
I am the Head Graphic Designer with an apparel company. I am a drummer in a Metal band ( I play and enjoy multiple genres however). I love to swim, run, walk, shoot pool, throw darts, enjoy beaches, bonfires, hanging out with friends, road trips, music, movies (LOVE FILMS), drawing, designing, singing, attempting to dance, etc. I do my best to make sure those around me are having a good time, smilinglaughing regardless of situation. (due to the military) I do have a darker sense of humor.
I am working on bettering myself and getting my life together in such a way that the stresses of adult'ing become easy. haha
IN THE LIFESTYLE
Ultimately, I am interested in finding someone for a long-term relationship. This does not mean that I am opposed to a play-partner(s) though. They will NOT however, be random ONS. There will be an established connection and understanding (including negotiations) before I will consider playing or developing such a relationship with another.
I have moderate experience in the lifestyle and have engaged in relationships that eventually, to one degree or another, developed a dynamic. I am hoping to find someone who is looking to develop a connection while also establishing a dynamic with me that exists both inside and outside of the bedroom.
Vanilla life will be included, but is obviously optional for those just seeking to become play-partners.
I am experienced in impact play (spanking, whips super accurate, flogging, paddling, bare-hand spankings, canecrop) , sensation play (softlight, extremeharsh, and center-polar stimulation, bondage (rope, chain, leather), interrogation play, fire-cupping, orgasm denialcontrol, discipline, electro play, breath controlchoking.
The next part is very real talk and insight about my life as of this past year. I am not the type of person to wait till my partner has invested time and energy to get to know me (thinking everything is perfect), to then out-of-nowhere tell them, "Hey, btw. . . I have issues. " I don't believe you should do that to someone and honestly see it as a form of entrapment. I am always learning and growing. I have a few bad habits (eliminating all of them) but, I still smoke and it has effected me (I am in the process of saving up enough money to get it fixed and quit entirely). 4-5 years ago ( I don't remember, lol), I was diagnosed with being "bipolar". Upon doing further research of my own and talking with other specialists, I stopped the medication (which made me a damn zombie), I have found that my mood swings ultimately stem from a couple different things, and I have gotten better at regulating and recognizing them and their stages of concern.
(which are explained below)
MILITARY
I was in the military for 6 years as an Infantryman in the U. S. ARMY. I have been to combat (don't worry I still have all 7 toes). I have lost brothers both on and off the battlefield.
Upon leaving the military, I began having the "mood-swings". I have come to realize that the military was indeed a coping mechanism (for losing my parents and other family members in my youth). As such, it naturally only made things more complicated when I left the military, as I had now lost the ability to be with what had, at the time, become my family.
FIRST TYPE
RELATED TO DEPRESSION SEPARATION ANXIETY and SURVIVORS GUILT.
I do not like being alone for long periods of time. If I am. . . I get self-destructive. NOT OKAY! I KNOW I KNOW! haha. I have gotten a lot better with dealing with it. I will not place someone (potential partner), in a situation where, I pursued them just for the sake of. . . not being alone.
What I do to combat that, is leave the damn house! haha. I go out, with friends or to shoot pooldarts, swim, walk, run, andor workout by myself. . . It has worked thus far. Sooooo. . . Yay me. :P
SECOND TYPE
ANXIETY RELATED.
PTSD has made it difficult for me to enjoy heavily crowded or loud scenarios. Things like a fest or a concert, are not something I can handle right now. However, I have tested myself in smaller venues for local shows and managed alright. If I have friends with me or people I know, these events become much easier to deal with.
THIRD TYPE
ANGER RELATED.
If I am in an argument, my anxiety and my anger, begin to mix. . . like a damn bomb. I would end up feeling like I was in a fightflight scenario. Because these engagements we often with people I cared about or had a connection with, I would immediately switch over to flight mode.
sometimes, I would leave the situation alone entirely. . . for days. I would just grab a bug-out bag and roll out (leave). . . Not talking to the person(s) or dealing with things at all, until I had calmed down. Then I wouldn't want to even talk about them again. . . so nothing got resolved. Past relationships were obviously destroyed due to that, but I did learn from them. Each one became easier to handle with a calm and collected frame of mind.
PRESENTLY
I am still at the "small" venue stage of handling anxiety. I can handle dungeons (not clubs), bars (not packed), etc.
I have become quite capable of handling heated conversationsargume nts. I have gotten so much more capable with being alone.
In addition, I am able to recognize these triggers ahead of time, and counter-act them before they become an issue for me or those around me.
I am not the best-end all-be all. I am far from perfect. I am also not your "Mr. Grey" or your knight in shining armor. My armor has been tested, cracked, tarnished and worn.
What I do offer however, is 100% dedication to working on myself, my partner and us, as a unit. Not every moment will be a gold one. . . But, I will do my best to ensure that you and I feel as though they are. I am very caring (still a little awkward regarding PDA, but I try.
I am very much an open book. . . Please feel free to ask as many questions as you like.
It would behoove you to read the "rules for communication" part of my profile should you have an honest interest and at least make an attempt toward following the things discussed in it. I will not be accepting, or responding to, "one-liner" inquiries or declarative statements trying to pose as "interests".
I have included a few a very simple pictures of me, as well as a taste of my toy selection.
I wish you all the best of luck in finding whom and what you are looking for in the lifestyle and on here. be safe and thank you for stopping by!
(LAST UPDATED AUGUST 19, 2017)
Seeking CD / Trans, Couple, Female
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| Gender | Male |
| Age | 38 |
| Location | USA, Illinois, Glendale Heights |
| 🌈 Sexuality | Straight |
| 🌎 Ethnicity | White / Caucasian |
| 🚬 Smoke | Yes |
| 🍷 Drink | Socially |
| 💊 Drugs | No |
| 🛡️ Safe Sex | Sometimes |
| 📏 Height | 5ft 6in (168 cm) |
| ⌛ Body Type | Slim |
| 👱 Hair Colour | Light Brown |
| 🦵 Body hair | Trimmed |
| 10:49 am Thursday, 17th May, 2018
you look so great and handsome |
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| 12:36 am Tuesday, 9th January, 2018
Very handsome 😍 |
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| 1:00 pm Sunday, 24th December, 2017
Bery sexy! |