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Explain this

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SluttyGoodGirl

I want to understand the desires behind this fantasy: He wants to be controlled. He wants me to order him around, demandcommand; including anal sex with a strap-on. Many men want this, and I understand the desire: to let go, push the limits, feel open, vulnerable, exposed.

I don't quite understand the "you're a bad boy" element that he simultaneously desires. I would think that the need to feel vulnerable would coincide with a need to feel protected ("good boy"). But he wants to be exposed & punished. Can someone who has this desire explain it to me? I'm trying to reconcile how the two components fit together.
Guss66

Re:Explain this

this behaviour pattern is really about the eroticpsychological desire to be 'humiliated'. it is easier for the psyche to abandon itself to humiliation is it can be convinced somehow that the 'punishment' is deserved. more than that perhaps it is about 'earning' your punishment - in all things rewards are more valuable when earned... so there is a more natural progression from 'bad boy' behaviour' to 'punishment'.. than there will ever be from 'good boy' behaviour
i'm looking at this from the 'wrong' side really (he who humiliates) but think this offers a reasonable theory.. though it is only that..