Golfing

Two mates were out on the golf course when one sliced his second shot on a par 5 and hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of yellow buttercups. He ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch trying to get the ball onto the green when all of a sudden ... Whoosh!!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for the rest of your life." Then POOF! .. she was gone!

After he recovered from the shock, he shouted to his friend, "Dave, where are you?"
Dave shouted back "I'm over here in the pussy willows."

He shouted back, "DON'T SWING, DAVE! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T SWING!"
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