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It was something you didn't say.

6:56 am Wednesday, 17th July, 2013

I am fascinated by the communication skills of the male species. Sorry, to generalise guys as clearly this doesn't apply to you all.

One-lined emails from guys will not get any points from me and hey, NEWSFLASH, cutting and pasting the same letter to every girl on the site is not a wise move either. Us girls can tell they are recycled.

Seriously, is it because they don't want to risk losing precious online hunting time by writing a personal and well-thought out message? I have had messages that say, "Hey!" That's it, nothing more. And the flirts ... come on! If a guy I have never talked to before walked up to me in a bar and said, "Would love to see your private pics." then showed me a picture of a pink dancing willy before he walked away, would that do the trick? Erm, yeah, no chance.

What am I supposed to do with a one-line message or a flirt? I am confused by this. Do I write back? Do I flirt back and cross my fingers? Or, do I send up smoke signals ...?

I know this is not an on-line dating site but I'm curious ... are guys still supposed to be the pursuer? It seems so many are happy to sit back and make the girls do all the work. Ok, I'll admit that it's been a while and I may be old fashioned but, I, like lots of girls, like to be pursued. It doesn't matter how successful, professional, or independent I am, I am still a lady and I want to know that a guy thinks I am interesting and attractive enough for him to make an effort.

So guys, don't complain if I blow you off too easily and never reply to your messages. It was probably not something you said but more likely something you didn't say. I get so many messages and unfortunately I can't reply to them all. Ask yourself if you took the time to read my profile and then wrote a nice, well-thought out email or did you say, "Hi hottie, I like your picture, have you got one of your pussy?" I kid you not ... that was a real message!

Anyway, I was wondering what the general feeling is on this. Is it still important for guys to show that they can communicate with and pursue a girl? Isn't pursuit from the male species, after all, the natural order of things?

XxLuv2xX



Comments
11:24 am Wednesday, 17th July, 2013

I've always had confidence with the written word, and enjoy communicating in a creative way. If ever I approach a woman here she can guarantee that she'll get some quality mails, and I don't jump straight into the sexual "deep end" unless her profile suggests that she would be receptive to that.

However, the bottom line (I suspect) is age, availability and location, and I suspect I fall outside most women's criteria in those respects. Therefore I've concluded that constructive, intelligent e-mails are not really top of every woman's agenda. I would say most women are fixated on Abs and youth (correct me if I'm wrong :-)

6:11 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Skebbie, not all girls are fixated on abs and youth :)

I'm not looking for romantic messages or a CV type message that includes cock size. A message is generally the first contact. I read it, if I like what I read and I'm interested, I will then look at the sender's profile and somehow respond (a challenge with classic). It's the first contact that grabs my interest ...


6:47 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Luv2sucU: Yes, but if on further perusal you discover that your correspondent is 15 years older than yourself, I'm willing to bet your interest will dissipate fairly rapidly, especially when one considers the wide choice available for women on this site :-)

7:01 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Skebbie, with age comes maturity :)

In any case, I think it was Groucho Marx who said, "You're only as old as the girl that you feel."

XxLuv2xX

7:12 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Luv2sucU thats funny img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"

7:45 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

L2SU: Very true, but sadly so does decrepitude (and I don't think Groucho had much to say about that angle, or how it affects one's physical desirability :-)

9:27 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Kinky: Maybe you should resurrect my blog about whether age "is just a number" :-) It seemed to sink without trace at the time, which suggested to me that people were a bit reluctant to discuss the issue 'cos it made them feel uncomfortable. Are you up for it? :-)

10:40 am Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Lilith: Could I interest you at all in a 10-inch-long cylindrical bottle of gin with a beefeater embossed on the side? (Limited edition) Unsure whether it knows much about religion, though.

12:36 pm Thursday, 18th July, 2013

Has anyone ever seen the advertisements to these websites? They suggest after a couple of messages you will meet someone in no time and this is after a one word message. So yes it has recruited a line of small minded men.

I think the copying and pasting and lack of detail in messages is a product of the competition on here. One genuine message gets lost in several others so men get frustrated and can't be bothered to try.

I agree a good message is polite and as pointed out, you wouldn't get your dong out in the pub and expect a date. (However, I have nothing against nude photos)

Men chasing women. I honestly don't do chasing as I know plenty of woman who see the dating scene as a two way street and some have said they think it is unfair for the man to do all the work. I'm not saying I'm lazy and have no game.

Though some people take the dating scene too seriously. Some women try and make a man work too hard. At times I felt I have had nothing to work with but I then sometimes I see that as a sign they're not interested.

Yes, the messages men send are pathetic. But the genuine ones I think women should try and work with the men. Try not to be serious. I have chatted to some women who give me nothing to chat with while others like to at least try themselves.

I'm not trying to slam either sex here. Just what I have experienced.

12:54 pm Thursday, 18th July, 2013

I always understand why someone doesn't reply to a message. Women must get millions. I'm tempted to open a female account to just to humour myself. lol

10:10 am Saturday, 20th July, 2013

TwilightSex

You make some valid points. I think some of the mindlessness is partly symptomatic of desperation after many failed attempts. And yes, the way these sites are publicised is obviously going to attract the gullible, the short-sighted and the intellectually challenged. Another "well-known site" has a slogan that goes something along the lines of "Join.....and get laid tonight !!" Also on the sign-in page it has photos of several well known American porn actresses who are apparently living in a nearby town here in Japan and "waiting for me to shag them" :-)

4:49 pm Saturday, 20th July, 2013

I think my favorite 'useless man approach' I've had since I've been on here was the time a guy said he'd like to come and meet me if I paid for his train fare... Bwahaha!!! Nice one mate :-)

The funny thing was, the same guy also gets the prize for the lamest message I've ever got: "WUUP2", which I eventually worked out meant "What are you up to?". Even written in non-text-speak, that's pretty poor!

11:49 pm Saturday, 20th July, 2013

@Darren12 - I tried x

@Stacey15, WUUP2 - lol, pmsl, #SoAnnoying

@Lilith, RJD? Would prefer Justin Timberlake

Thanks for your comments ...

XxLuv2xX

6:08 pm Monday, 22nd July, 2013

Wilf - will you be renewing your library membership anytime soon?

Can you enlighten me on your laws of unintended consequences? I'm intrigued ...

7:01 pm Monday, 22nd July, 2013

I admire your honesty Micktattoo.
Are you one of the 'club them over the head and drag them back to your cave' types? :)

8:25 pm Monday, 22nd July, 2013

What ... she gives you directions to her own cave?
x

8:39 pm Monday, 22nd July, 2013

Wilf you are so right. Some blogs are a joy to read, including your own.

9:27 pm Monday, 22nd July, 2013

mmmmmm odd..........

I think I am becoming addicted to blogs - and this one made me smile.

While the opportunity exists can I just say that I am often free on Mondays? and lots of other days of the week as well.

I love a coffee and a natter too, sharing a few secret tales just for the hell of it.

I think that getting laid here is pretty much like getting laid anywhere. Even though there is a chance that folks might be predisposed to a little horizontal jogging the chemistry still has to be there. Sometimes that takes an age to nurture, sometimes it happens rather quickly. But nothing should be taken for granted.

Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes, though, it does....

Now - wheres my dancing willy??

12:14 am Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

BTG: Looking at the women on here, this particular bloke would probably find less than about 15% shaggable, but I am, admittedly, a fussy old get :-) Yep it's a swingers' site but everyone has their own standards and attitudes, and I suppose I've always strived for connections that are "memorable" and (dare I say it?) slightly "romantic" :-) If you remove all the "greedy girl gangbang" enthusiasts, the doggers, the swing-club aficionados and women who are massively tattooed or exceed my upper limit for body size, then there are not that many to choose from, and among those, only a tiny proportion are likely to find me interesting. I'm not complaining though, because it's kind of fun waiting to see how the dice will fall, but knowing for sure that if I'm sufficiently patient, someone really attractive is still out there and I will eventually meet her.

I reckon if you develop a sort of playful "wait and see" mindset, instead of coming over as sort of desperate, then this journey can be interesting and rewarding.

2:02 am Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

Hello,
I think the site is to blame in many ways.
For instance, I joined mainly for a bit of fun, I split 18 months ago and work hard. So I like to switch the lap top on in the evening and chat to ladies, not always about sex.
I only have a few friends on the site.
My frustration is male classic members can't read mail, where females can. I think that is a little unfair and also means that communications are scuppered from the start..If I'm interested in a member I say so no more no less really, just let them know they interest me.
Most profiles state what people are looking for sexually, that's all the information you have to work with, so most people will either concentrate on that or completely ignore it..
I have had a few great conversations in chat or on other messenger providers, even had a few nice meets,
I get what I want from site. But I do find the email issues poor and frustrating.
Not all gu

10:11 am Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

BTG: If you're passing through North Yorks at any time in the last 3 weeks of August, I'll be happy to take you up on that. Can even accom (don't worry I'm not gay :-)

7:10 pm Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

CumfunforU - Oh dear, I did try to reply to your message but your settings wouldn't allow me to.

I did want to ask what you liked about it ...

7:15 pm Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

Kinkygirl .. I hope I am as cool as you when I grow up lol xxx


Curvybird .. I agree, the blogs are far more interesting and at least here you can find people with conversation skills that go beyond what is kept in their pants.

7:18 pm Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

Skebbie - 15%! Really? Oh dear, now I am depressed.

10:16 pm Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

@Throbbin0, Not sure you would get a dancing pink willy in the envelope ... Although, you could always send it by Parcel Force ;-)

11:57 pm Tuesday, 23rd July, 2013

@Roslyn: Yes they were still there last time I looked, although it's more than 3 months since I was in UK. In the meantime maybe Donald Trump has turned them into Disneyland with Baseball Caps.

@Luv2SucU: No it's actually good news. You lie within the chosen 15%!! On my return to UK next month, I will be dispatching my "Lady Catcher" with his iron cage and team of horses to round up all the women I've selected for transport up to Yorkshire, so no need to worry about the train fare :-)

7:28 am Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

Skebbie, you've made me blush ;-) I'll listen out for those horses ...

10:01 am Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

kinky my lengthily comment was not approved. bah! i guess i put too much focus on the contact restrictions even though the were briefly commented on in previous posts........ expecting an email any minute now confirming the deletion of this one too.

10:03 am Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

ill take your sound advice board though lol

4:08 pm Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

@Wilf, I know what you mean about being attracted to well-written blogs and profiles.

"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words, the Gspot is in the ears, he who looks for it below there is wasting his time. A well-known quote that I'd love to take credit for ...

7:01 pm Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

BTG - shame on me for not marking your homework. This was an oversight ;-)

My feedback: BTG you clearly made an effort with your blog comment however your use of applied mathematics and statistics to understand the real world relating to human-created activity, is a little suspect. Are you able to provide reliable evidence to support your data on, for example, what women find shaggable? Must try harder next time!

Pmsl ....

Quick question - what sort of watch do you wear?

;-) xxx


10:18 pm Wednesday, 24th July, 2013

You might find yourself on detention BTG

5:46 am Thursday, 25th July, 2013

Giggles BTG. Quote " ... but in honour of good deeds not bad." Now that is a shame ;-)

On your example of time relativity - "Pleasure and action make the hours seem short."

Geek alert! Geek alert! Word of warning ... never get a girl from Stratford started on the subject of Mr Shakespear ...

7:25 am Thursday, 25th July, 2013

Kinky: Like Curvy, maybe you're not fussy enough lol.

Luv2sucU: People like BTG need to be treasured and nurtured. Who says romance is dead ? :-)

7:56 am Thursday, 25th July, 2013

Mmmm I think our first lesson will be on the correct use of a mobile phone. Are you finding the crrect use of your fingers on the keypad a challenge?

Perhaps Skebbie is right - you need to be treasured.

ps, just emailed you directions to Stratford. Problem is, they were designed for Japanese tourists so you may not be able to read them :)

11:47 am Thursday, 25th July, 2013

***ps, just emailed you directions to Stratford. Problem is, they were designed for Japanese tourists so you may not be able to read them :)***

Was that directed at me, or to BTG ?? lol

12:52 pm Thursday, 25th July, 2013

Skebbie

As if I would ... *^_^*
x

9:47 pm Thursday, 25th July, 2013

Looks like my appointment book is a bit jammed for next month :-)

10:34 pm Thursday, 25th July, 2013

No Wilf ... I'm saving that for you x

9:10 am Friday, 26th July, 2013

One can live in hope Fallingangel I think Skebbie and BTG make a lovely pair ... ()

11:52 pm Friday, 26th July, 2013

Hahaha ... I can just picture you both.

I had a lovely birthday thanks BTG xx

12:13 am Saturday, 27th July, 2013

BTG* Reminds me of Uncle Monty in "Withnail and I" recalling "sweet crimes in a punt" with someone called Norman :-)

8:02 am Saturday, 27th July, 2013

@BTG Are you really leaving us (sob)? Hope it wasn't something I said ;-0

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