one for the girls to ponder on

Polite does it for me, and easing into the flirtatious (and more) part. Someone who jumps into the "rough and ready" bit is a turn off. I like to think that a guy wants to get to know me a bit, I'm not just a piece of meat. I may be different, but that's what works for me.

I like to think that in "propositioning" someone on this site (and it's usually blokes that initiate things here) I'm polite and controlled. On the other hand, the whole point of meeting people here is to establish some sort of sex-based liaison, so if your opening few e-mails are about the weather, the latest antics of some celeb, or whether you like sushi, I think most women would lose interest fairly rapidly. I think you have to be aware that we're here for a specific reason and keep that in mind at all times, without being crass, crude or intimidating. If people have reasonably detailed profiles, a good approach is to pick up on a few points they have mentioned, and then at least you can't be accused of making "unwelcome overtures". Hopefully on that basis things can develop.

ive been accused of being too polite as well on a couple of occasions and not just on this site. i dont think you can 'polite' your way into someones knickers to be honest. it seems if youre too polite people assume youre not capable of being dominating and controlling in the bedroom which is exactly what a lot of woman want on this site. you always hear woman saying that they want a gent and they want to be treated like a lady but in my experience, whether they realise it or not, the old cliche is right, deep down most woman want a 'bad boy. polite guy for chatting and bad boy for fucking. thats my two pennies worth anyway

kinkyfun: You've got a good point there, mate. I suspect many women hope for a gent in public and an animal in bed. I think the problem is striking the right balance in the initial chit-chat. Sometimes, though, what a woman actually says in her profile can provide clues as to the appropriate approach. I mean if she describes herself (hypothetical example) as a "sex-crazed size queen slut", then obviously she's not going to be too impressed with "do you like gardening?" as an opening chat-up line :-)

lol@Lilith

susie and mossy up a tree.....
haha

I have only been a member for a couple of days and so far, I have been sent some really polite messages from guys. It really is quite overwhelming. For example, one of the most polite introductions went something like this "Read my profile. If you want me to fuck you get in touch." He was even good enough to send me a nice big picture of his not-so-nice willy.

His mum must be proud.


I am pleased to say that I have also had some polite and very interesting messages too.

Kinkyfunnsa, I can't disagree with you. You do have a point ...

Polite works every time. Kinky, Skebbie - I have to agree with you to a point but it is possible to find a well-mannered animal who says thank you aferwards ... :)