Blog on masturbation do’s and don’ts (humorous) – combined serious advice for hemales and hermales
Rumour of humour? Yup.
Tips and tricks on giving yourself a gratifying workout at home – one’s company!
Do:
1. Become more uninhibited
2. Spoil yourself
3. Show and tell
4. Table dance
5. Take yourself to bed
6. Vote yourself as the best
7. Message a friend when you do
8. Seduce yourself
9. Go out with yourself
10. Be serious about getting self-laid in a laid-back way
11. Play at foreplay
12. Have dirty self-sex
13. Orgasm
14. Moan and groan
15. Make yourself come
16. Cum on yourself
17. Surprise yourself
18. Entertain yourself
19. Take advantage of the situation
20. Reveal your true identity
21. Enjoy what you are doing
22. Make time for yourself
23. Shout Action!
24. Walk about naked nonchalantly at home
25. Smile when someone says, Screw yourself! And go a-head and do it.
26. Make your own toes curl
27. Squirt
28. It for a good reason
29. Lick yourself
30. Fill your pussy or get up with cock-a-doodle-doo
31. Have a self orgy
32. Work on your inane sensual abilities
33. Be messy and gooey and ooh-ah-oh\oheye
34. Imagine yourself as princess or slave or knight or knave
35. Unwind
36. Make love to yourself
37. Love yourself
38. Plunge headfirst
39. Watch sleazy porn and imagine a partner of your preference
40. Fantasise
41. Show off
42. Hold hands with yourself
43. Set your own world of play
44. Expose yourself
45. Shake your tasty body
46. Be glamorous
47. Rub your hand
48. Wank yourself in strange places
49. Grab a hold of yourself
50. Let your skimply clothes fall if you haven’t done so already
51. Stretch yourself wide
52. Push with your thumbs and thrust with your fingers
53. Feel hot
54. Consider yourself as your own fuck buddy
55. Make yourself come any way you want to
56. Hear how you fuck yourself
57. Get quick relief
58. Satisfy yourself surreptitiously in public places
59. Be pretty safe to make yourself happy
60. Be meek, be sweet, be what you want to be
Don’t:
1. Drop balls
2. Have it on the house
3. Wait for a sexond
4. Miss out on exciting times
5. Suffer unnecessarily
6. Go soft on hardcore
7. Lie about lying down
8. Deny the merits of masturbation
9. Stunt double yourself as a stud
10. Have strings attached, unless you’re into BDSM
11. Go down on yourself
12. Wear something unrevealing
13. Ask you age
14. Ask what size you are
15. Ask yourself how many partners you’ve been with
16. Ask yourself if that’s the right spot
17. Ask yourself if the tits or cock are for real
18. Shove your cock up your own anus
19. Lick you own ass
20. Fuck your pussy with your tits
21. Lick your own pussy
22. Pull out
23. Have a headache
24. Remind yourself to suck it
25. Ask, was it good for you too?
26. Fuck around. Fuck you!
27. Play with dolls
28. Bring any clothes
29. Get dressed
30. Mind yourself being naked
31. Exhaust yourself
32. Be told how to do everything (please yourself)
33. Give yourself fellatio , but if you’re double jointed
34. Compromise
35. Feel crappy
36. Reinvent yourself as conservative
37. Call yourself a cocksucker
38. Bullshit
39. Feel guilty
40. Be overcome
41. Rump and grind
42. Pawn rather than porn
43. Be a back seat driver, but be a front feet diver
44. Do shit
45. Complain
46. Be indecisive choosing what hole to overhaul
47. Flush
48. Peel your lips apart
49. Cool off
50. Offer masturabation as reward for household chores
51. Ask why you don’t do it as much as you used to
52. Come on your ass or feet
53. Be like and anilmal
54. Play for ages without coming
55. Tie yourself down
56. Not undo
57. Let erection escape detection
58. Get lost in your own passion
59. Fantasise about yourself being a dog, maybe a bitch though
60. Be bored or lonely at home (nobody understands you better than you do.)
