A GOOD HEART IS HARD TO FIND

chriswhittle545

I originally posted this as part of my profile, but things went a bit haywire on a technical footing.


So what do I have to say? Usually quite a lot LOL It is just me. To talk openly about my life would be a literary classic compared to War & Peace. Is it any wonder I am a writer? What I want to say is deeply honest, thoughtful, balanced and articulate. As I am about to hit 60, my life has been one of very different themes, contexts and life altering situations. There is no escaping that, it is ABSOLUTE FACT. My life, certainly in the past 30 odd years, is something which I have had difficulty to come to terms with. In that time I have to face almost certain death TWICE witness unimaginable horrors of carnage, devastation and sickening loss of life in a major tragedy. As a result, I had to face the awful darkness and the terrors of PTSD. Yet, five years later, my family had to face the agonising horror of the shocking death of my younger brother in terrifying circumstances. Those 5 years were the worst that I have ever had to face, my heart and mind ripped out made worse by consuming vast amounts of alcohol and violent rage and fear. It was a time when I struggled to co exist. As years went by I somehow managed to complete a degree, write a book and get married. Crazy life, I hear you say. The last few years have been bittersweet, the birth of my beautiful granddaughter and the deaths of my elderly parents through terminal illness, one with cancer, the other through Dementia. Then came my second fight for life, when I spent four months in a hospital bed, with not much hope. I suffered from life threatening and life changing conditions such as lymphedema, cellulitis, sepsis, kidney injury, pulmonary hypertension and a stroke. It is natural that you focus on your own mortality in times like these. The things that you value most of all in such deep crisis is survival, life and change. It in perfectly clear that I have this incredible resolve, immense strength of character, cast iron will and a never say die attitude. Some say I am indestructible and have this unbreakable spirit. I guess that is what kept me going over all these years. Now, two years on, I am fitter healthier stronger due to regular exercise and a sensible diet (mainly). I am not self reliant on alcohol these days, apart from the odd glass or two of beer. I am virtually celibate, mainly through choice. MY GOODNESS I AM AN AMATEUR MONK BORDERING ON SAINTHOOD😁😁😁


There is one thing left to do, find that sexy someone!!! I need to be happy again after the heartache. I know my limitations and also know my great positives, such as being caring, kind, committed, passionate, loving, affectionate and generous. Of you are out there please connect LOL


That is my story. My life. My passion. Many thanks for reading.


Chris

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