Experience with sites

stacypadi383

I don't know if anyone is finding what I am on all these sites but . Am I missing something feedbaxk is welcome. I am stacy 5 foor 8 Very butch woman. who works loves. Plays and wants to find a life that is safe comfortable.and sensual. Loyal honest and the freedom to be all of me. I Do not use acronyms really butch is basically the only think 8 call myself . . I don't even use the word lesbian. I am made up of a lot of things . I am 49 years old..Born in 1971. Being gay was un heard. Of. And I always knew I was diffent but didn't know what is was just knew it was wrong. I've never wanted to carry a flag , March down the street . Or demand that I be reconized as being diffent .. I honestly for get what I look like until I get reminded. Be it in the bathroom or in public . Or where ever ..people all my life have asked me in the straight community and gay community what I call myself . What I consider myself . My answer is always the same Stacy .. I don't mind if people don't agree or don't understand. That's okay . There are a lot of things I don't agree with or understand. . I have no Gaydar at all. My straight friends do. .. I have no understanding of being Bi sexual . I have no understanding of being a gay male. No under of how it is to be hetrosexusl even though I tried. If u gave me a straight pill years ago I would have taken it. Truly . It' was hard a painful for. Long time to not know or be who I was. . Today I am . 100 percent me. I have had all the same issues as lot of gays have . I've been picked on beat up . Harrassed by the cops made an issue of. Put on display . Disowed . But not just by straight people . I finally get up enough guts to get on dating sites and I have no idea what any of the acronyms are . I don't have 8 pronouns to discribe myself in a gay world . I grew up with ma am and sir . I have come to understand that we all have a purpose as a human . Ut purpose is not mine. Mine is not urs . Example. There is a young man whos a little off in my town . Every single day of his life he's found a corner . He has a chair and a huge sign that he holds up that says I hate abortions. I used to see him and get mad. Then one day walking by him . It really dawned on me . That's he purpose he's solid belief he isn't hurting anyone. He's stating in his core what he honestly thinks is right . I walked up to him and gave that boy a hug. .. not because I agree but because . I can still walk this earth with people who don't understand me. And I can walk it not ashamed or scared. And I've in the past been those things . I get on these sites and I want to find whatever the universe has for me . I crave connection love. Fun. Honestly loyality . I am not sure how that's suppose to look. And I make bad choices do stupid things and am not perfect. . I have. A lot of charcharacter defects . But I feel on the sites. Now that I have to be some labeled character who wants something crazy. Or had these insane fantasies. It's hard to gain connection with people they will communicate for a second and take off . Or flat out just lie about who they are what they really want. Every website is full of evil people too trying to get ur bank account I am not talking about that. I am talking about engaging being real . And having funfun. Is what I am asking for dumb? Should I just make up a bunch of things on these sites to fit in ? I'm being honest in asking

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