IT'S BEST TO BE YOURSELF

MosesLicks

JUST BE YOURSELF


First impressions count, and count a lot! It makes sense, then, to consider the best way to present yourself when meeting people for the first time. I must emphasize that what I am about to say is just my opinion. I do not expect everyone to agree with me, but perhaps it will make you think, and if so, has not been a waste of time.


The important thing to bear in mind is that when you meet someone for the first time, you will each form an instant impression of each other, so try your best to present yourself realistically. If you get along, you will meet many times and you don’t want to have to keep up an act. If you like each other it will be because you feel relaxed and comfortable in each other’s company, so right from the word go, just be yourself. Never pretend to like something that you don’t; it is not necessary. Decent people will like you for who you are and respect your boundaries. I think it is better to not be too specific in initial chats. Just keep it light and establish a rapport.


Whilst you have met because of shared interests, it is best if you don’t completely agree on everything, as that way, over time, you can expand each other’s horizons to mutual benefit. We should all try new things; it is the only way to find out if we like them. The things we like we add to our repertoire, and the things we don’t, we simply don’t do again!


If you want others to find you interesting, be interested. Of course you will need to talk about yourself, because your potential new friend(s) will ask, but balance the conversation by enquiring about their interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. We all like people to take an interest in us. This might seem obvious, but let me assure you that there are some people out there that only talk about themselves, and think they can impress you with what they have done and where they have been. We’ve all met them; they are boring and tedious!


Before you go to your meet up, you will probably agonize to some extent about what to wear. This is no longer just a woman’s consideration; men are just as conscious these days and quite rightly too. Remember, you are meeting in a public place, maybe a bar, a tavern, or shopping mall, so you need to stand out for the right reason, not the wrong one! The right reason is to make you recognizable to your new friends, and the wrong is because you look outrageous. For me, the simple rule of thumb is to wear whatever makes you feel good, because, usually, if you feel good, you will carry it well, and therefore look good.


Opening words matter, so keep in mind that it is simple and easy to say something friendly, complimentary and honest. In the past I have found that saying ‘Wow, you look nice’, or similar, is more than adequate. However, say what will sound natural coming from you, as it is you that will say it, not me!


However well (or not well!) the meeting has gone, it will, at some point, end, and if you have been in a bar or restaurant there will be a bill. If you feel that the meet up has been successful, and you have discussed getting together again, don’t be picky over who had what; if you are sharing the cost, divide it down the middle. Someone pointing out that I had two colas while they only had one would put me right off! If you are a male and want to treat a lady, then certainly offer, but if she prefers to pay her corner, don’t argue the point; respect her independence.


If you are arranging a future meet to take matters further, it is a good idea later, when you are back home, to contact and say how much you enjoyed today. I always think a voice call is best, but it will depend on the other person’s circumstances; if they share a flat, for example, they may prefer a text message to keep their personal life private. It shows you are thoughtful and considerate.


Never press for further action on the first meet. Most people, me included, like to establish a friendship first, and taking it gently shows that you care about them as people, and they are not just a piece of meat for your satisfaction.


The saying that you should treat others the way you wish to be treated yourself cannot be faulted. Get off on the right foot, and have fun.

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