COMMUNICATE TO CONNECT
COMMUNICATE TO CONNECT
The days dividing Christmas and New Year are always strange, but this year are particularly so. For me it is a good time to think about what I want for next year. Some people believe that everything that happens is predestined and preordained; I do not. I am confident that we have all the power we need to shape our world the way we want it. Most importantly, we cannot have what we want unless we actually know what we want. You can’t begin a journey unless you know where you want to go. I wish to expand my interactions with others, both sexually and socially, and it could well include some of you who are reading this! I hope it does.
As members, all of you have chosen to lead a fulfilling life without jealousies and recriminations. In my eyes you are intelligent and advanced. There are a number of creatures in the world that are naturally faithful and monogamous, but the human animal is not one of them. There are those that choose to be loyal to one partner, but that is a choice, sometimes driven by a truly held religious belief, rather than a natural condition and all those people have my full respect.
At one or more points in our lives we are possessed by love, and the feeling overtakes our senses as we focus on the one person that we cannot imagine being separated from. It is a truly wonderful emotion that I would have hated to have missed. However, once our hormones settle down, we still love that person, but are not immune to the attractiveness of others we see as we move around in society. This applies to both the partners. It is perfectly natural to experience lusting for a person we see as desirable. Many resist the temptation, but some succumb to it and start a clandestine affair that is secret from their permanent partner. Almost inevitably they get discovered, and the result is often the misery of separation and divorce, accompanied by resentments, and often hatred, too.
I believe that the unhappiness and devastation can be avoided by the simple act of communication. If everybody talked to each other it is my contention that the rate of break-ups and divorces could be dramatically slashed.
The clear message is that deception leads to disaster, which is understandable; no-one likes to be duped and taken for an idiot. Openness and honesty, however lead to trust and fulfillment. In a committed relationship both parties should have no problem expressing their desires to each other. Many lives have ended unfulfilled because each partner felt that they could not express themselves to the other. Heaven knows how often they were both harbouring the same dreams. That is a sad thought.
The open marriage/relationship, swinging lifestyle, call it what you will, the name is unimportant, offers many benefits to those that pursue it sensibly. Enjoying sex and eroticism with friends is very exciting and hugely rewarding. Watching my late wife ride a hard cock was an incredible sight, and I never ever felt any pang of jealousy; I knew her skin would be next to mine again soon. We also allowed separate outside liaisons, which have the added attraction of bringing new ideas and thrills into the core relationship. My wife loved to talk about the things she and her lover had done which expanded our repertoire, as it were, and invariably ended in the wildest sex.
So, to anyone who would like to join the lifestyle, but believes their partner would never agree, I say ‘think again’, and remember that we are all human! It is not difficult to instigate the conversation with a question like ‘Do you ever fancy getting it on with another guy/girl?’
Once the barriers have been broken down, it is easy to talk about anything that you may like to try, such as BDSM, WS and DP, for example.
When we reach the end of next year, let’s try to be able to look back on 2021 with satisfaction.
