Performing and Confidence - And How They Boost Each Other
Performing and Confidence.
These are two things that go hand in hand, but which comes first? Which builds the other? The answer isn’t as simple as you thing, as after a few years, I’ve realised that they’re both in a constant state of evolution and they influence each other in an unusual back-and-forth sort of way!
I was always told that a little stage fright is good, as it shows that you’re passionate and that you care about your performance. I remember when I first started, I knew I could sing, but I had real trouble talking to an audience. I sometimes stutter when I’m nervous, so getting a joke out through stutters was a little difficult. I would also get a killer attack of the shakes after performing every number. It was a strange paradox. I was doing what I’d always wanted to do, but it made me almost uncontrollably nervous. The only thing to do was keep going and going and eventually, I’ve learned to channel all of that nervous energy into my performance.
It’s become easier over the years, as I’ve got the comfort of knowing I must be ok at what I’m doing, as people keep coming and keep having a good time, so I remind myself of that. I’ve also refined my look, my wardrobe, my skills and that’s given me more confidence, knowing that I’m evolving and getting better as time goes on. We all have an off-night from time to time, but instead of dwelling on it, I work out what could be done better and how to improve. This is why I’ll periodically video my performances, so I can see what the crowd sees, so I can see how to get better. That’s really helped.
The key is, once you’ve found your passion, stick with it. No one is good at anything straight away and it often takes a little while to really get the hang of it and get used to it. You just need to find the rhythm of what you’re doing.
On the other side, my stage personality is vastly different to my daytime personality in many different ways. When I’m not on stage or in all my makeup, I’m actually quite nervous and shy and I’ve noticed that I’ve become much more at ease with myself since starting drag. I’m much more willing to share opinions in meetings, for example, as before I’d have sat quietly in the corner. The strength and confidence I’ve found by becoming better at what I do has carried over into my day-life and reminded me that I am intelligent and strong, my opinions and I are valid and I’m a lot more capable than I used to let myself think. These things sometimes get beaten out of us and it’s easy to forget that each of us is actually rather brilliant!
I think it might be the fact that fighting to get to where you want to be and proving yourself can show you that you CAN do whatever you want if you work at it. It’s not just a matter of proving your worth to other people, but to yourself. We all need that reality-check from time to time to remind us that we’ve got strength and skills that we might have forgotten about.
It’s not all about drag, of course. It’s not even all about makeup and a sparkly wardrobe. It’s about learning to pull those shoulders back, chin up, take a deep breath and show the world what you’ve got! That doesn’t mean meting mean or trampling on people either. If you’re kind and polite while you’re giving your life a boost (and at all times) then you’ll find that people will help you get to where you want to go. Be sure of yourself and surround yourself with the right company and there’ll be no stopping you. At the very least, you’ll be much happier. Give it a go! Start working on your confidence and remind yourself who you really are and what you can really do!
Stay Safe, Stay Sane Stay Vidalicious
