An Origin Story, how I came to be

SiteAdminNickE

Hi all, this is just a quick blog introduction as I set out to try and explain how I came to be. I think for many of us a huge part of our identity is how we got here, so I wanted my first blog post to be about that, an origin story if you will.

From my earliest memories, I could tell that I was in the wrong body. That may sound strange to some of you who may not be so experienced in this lifestyle, but it was like that inner voice inside your head that feeds back to you what makes you tick, what you like and what you don’t had always spoke to me about how wrong it felt to look, dress and act like a boy, because my spirit told me that I wasn’t. I know this is a common thing, but to a young person these thoughts can be alarming and alien - we are who we are, and for your mind to tell you that who you are is innately wrong is a very strange thing to wrap your head around, and for me it took many years to completely understand it. At first I tried to ignore these thoughts and instincts, assuming that they were just misguided thoughts, not entirely understanding why they were there, but as i got older and began to read accounts from others who had grown up the same as me, i realised i was not alone, and that these thoughts should not be ignored.

As I continued to grow, all of my thoughts and feelings were validated all the more, as I began my adolescence life and my hormones became much more prevalent. I had grown my hair long, and started to experiment with nail polish and make up ever so subtly, feeling this rush of endorphins as I felt more like a girl than ever before whenever I dolled myself up. When I started my first job and began to earn money, I was able to buy the clothes that I had always wanted to wear, growing in confidence in defiance of the stigmas and judgement that I had feared for so long and from there, there was no turning back.

Fast forward 28 years and here I am, proud of the beautiful woman that I have grown to be and confident in my own skin. I have found solidarity and comfort in many trans communities online, full of beautiful like-minded women who have shared similar journeys and stories - a beautiful circle of trust and understanding and acceptance, all the confirmation and encouragement you would ever need to validate those strongest and most innate thoughts and feelings that you have ever felt, and proving that although there may be some small-minded and judgemental people out there who simply don’t understand you, there are many, many loving and welcoming communities who not only understand and accept, but encourage and promote everything that you are and wish to be.

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