My funniest sexscapade story
Okay, Folks. I want to tell this tale about getting tail back in 2001 without getting censored by CSO. So, some of the things that could be related to copyrighted property such as an old movie will be things that I describe in such a way without saying the motion picture's actual name. Maybe...just maybe this post will actually get posted. I hope so, because this is one funny true story.
So, it was the Summer of the year 2000 and a One. I had lost my driver's license for being, well, just plain ignorant while driving in my own neighborhood. Thankfully, no person and or animals were injured by what caused me to lose my license. I bring this up, because it explains my carrying of a backpack for my Friday night date night with, at that time, a neighbor of mine that had a similar sex drive and alcohol habit at said time. Her name was Carrie. Well, Carrie and I liked to get drunk and shag. This was really early on in our relations history where our "relations" odometer had maybe not even hit double digits yet. This made what I did all the more daring...
It was a Friday afternoon when I came up with the idea while smoking outside a courthouse that I worked in at the time. I happen to blurt it out loud like almost as it came into my mind. There happen to be a fellow friend that was a County employee, Stephanie, out there smoking with me. Stephanie heard my practical outburst and immediately started laughing, while telling me that I was crazy if I actually did such. I assured Stephanie that this was gonna happen as I couldn't believe that I even came up with the whole idea. Between myself and my roommate at the time, who we will call Randy, I had all of the supplies needed to pull this off.
Well, about 4:30 PM that Friday, I get my ride home from the courthouse and began to assemble my arsenal. I had already asked Randy if I could borrow his Halloween mask right after I had my initial blurting of my plan out in front of Stephanie. Let's just say that his mask looked like Luke's Father from his Dark Side days. I next went through my own closet until I found my black college graduation robe from the Summer before. Finally, which did take me a minute to find, I located the glow-in-the-dark condom that I knew that I had somewhere in my somewhat mess of a bedroom. I stuffed these three items in my backpack, worked out, and hit the shower to be ready for when Carrie was supposed to pick me up like 6:30-7ish for us to go out for dinner. As soon as I hopped into Carrie's car to head out, she asks me what's up with the backpack. I told her that I wasn't sure where we would end up later, my house of her house. Carrie further inquired as to what all was in my pack. I assured her nothing illegal and she would, hopefully, find out later in the night. She was like "okay?" and I reiterated to just trust me. So, we rode out for dinner...
Our dinner went well at a Cajun restaurant that is not upscale fine dining, but like a step below. It was Friday and I was throwing the drinks down like I wasn't driving, because I wasn't. Carrie herself was riding the line of a beer or so within being DUI-able, but we ended up back at my place safe and she threw down several beers while we made out in the living room en route to the bedroom...
To describe Carrie, well, she was attractive. At 31 years old, she was six years my elder and a complete MILF. Carrie had dyed red hair, which I did not figure out that little detail as to being dyed red for way too long during shower at her place and noticing her shampoo was for dyed hair. I bring this up due to the fact that she dyed her hair not auburn or that magenta obvious dyed color, but rather that more copper red hair color. I love red heads, pretty much across the board, especially with green eyes like she had. To my knowledge, both of such traits are genetic mutations, but I find that to be a lovely X-Woman package. Not to mention that Carrie also had nice fair skin, sexy sexy hips, which, of course, connected to her long legs. I will say that when Carrie used to wrap those sexy long legs around me and then I would grab her womanly hips, it was an erection motivator for me. We had fun sex, which is why I chose her to be the victim of this silly idea of mine. I could have saved it for Christie that I had a date with the next night being Saturday, but I felt like Carrie was the more fun, open, and maybe just a tad crazier of the two ladies. Also, I don't know that I could have waited another day to do what I had planned for with Carrie on Friday.
As our making out in the living room got heavier and heavier, we migrated to my bedroom. When we get up from the living room couch, I grab my backpack and Carrie is like what is up with you and that damn back back tonight? I assured her that she would know soon enough, which I almost fuct up. Once back into my bedroom, Carrie goes back to sucking my cock. I can be difficult getting off sometimes. It takes me a while more times than not. The more Carrie keeps passionately sucking my cock, the harder and fatter that he got. It felt like I was about to run out of skin. My Boy was getting almost painfully hard. So, I put my hands on Carrie's shoulders and pull her up to kiss her. Look readers...it wasn't snowballing and she had just been sucking MY cock. So, yeah...I kissed her for a minute or so before working my way down south kissing her neck, nipples, and stomach. Upon getting to her golden gates, I gave her a few slow swipes from low (not quite ass low, though) up to her clit and then pulled away to start kissing her inner thighs. I kinda sort of repeated this process for a few with each time spending more time kissing and sucking on her vagina more than her thighs. Yeah...I am teasing my sexy elder a bit and she finally calls me out on such. Carrie pulls me up from between her thighs and sternly tells me to fuck her. I mean I must have rode the teasing part out too far. I flow with Carrie pulling me into her, but only get like maybe 3 to 5 long strokes inside her flood gate of a vagina when I stop with my cock like halfway inside her. I look her in the eyes and immediately apologize. Carrie is like what are you talking about? Your cock is like rock hard, M. I agreed with her, but pulled out while telling her that I had to do something. She actually gets miffed at me at this point, especially when I pick my backpack up as I head to the bathroom connected to my master bedroom. Poor Carrie, at this moment, is like what the fuck, M, with you and that backpack? Get your cock back in me, as I am dripping wet, she said. I apologize again and enter the bathroom. I hear Carrie say if you had to #2, you could just tell me and that would frustrate me a whole lot less, M. I look back and lock eyes with her in the dim light from the bathroom. In her green to my blue, I could feel the tension, as Carrie was getting pissed. She wanted me to continue what had been started. I said...I got to do this, Carrie, and closed the bathroom door. I swear that I heard cursing after I closed the door with my backpack in hand. The door was now closed and this was "go-time" people and I don't mean #2.
I quickly start unloading my 3 necessary items out of my pack, once in the bathroom. I get all 3 key pieces out and decide that charging the glow-in-dark condom was priority #1, as I had never dealt with such before. After a few, but possibly less than 5 minutes, of holding this condom up against the bathroom light, it appears charged ready to glow in the dark. So, this is it. I am almost there to....quite possibly get stuff thrown at me for trying to make this silly joke of like a X-Rated SNL skit. I have the glowing condom on my throbbing cock. He did not go down a bit through all of this. Sliding the condom on is a bit weird as it's that "powdered" lubricant as opposed to a wet lube. Nonetheless, I made it this far thus far and I am finishing this plan. I hope that Carrie doesn't throw anything such as a shoe at my cock, as he is the only one that I got and we have kind of grown fond of one another over our 25 years together at that point in The History of Me and my Penis. With the condom on, I throw on my college graduation robe and slide my Glowing Cock through the slit running down the middle of the front. There is just one last thing to do and I know this isn't going to be comfortable.
No..no..no...Weirdos. The uncomfortable part did not come with a light saber up my ass, but rather pulling that latex mask of Luke's Father over my face. It was go-time people....
I came out of the bathroom to see an initial pissed Carrie to a Carrie with an OMG look on her face. Honestly, I think that the first thing that I said was "That's right. Surrender to the Dark Side Princess Lay-Ya". I then started to swing my cock from side to side while making the "Juuum" sound as I swung my Glowing Dick Saber from left to right. Thankfully, Carrie started cracking up. I continued my Dick Saber dance for just a few...I know after all this build up, but I had to get back in Carrie's vagina ASAP. However, the problem there was contagious laughter. Thankfully, with some hard heavy kissing and rubbing my Glowing Dick Saber between Carrie's vagina lips up to her clit where I put a little extra "Juuum" on her. Finally, we both stopped laughing enough to where I got back inside my beautiful redhead good sexual sport of a friend. I must say it was kind of cool watching my Glowing Boy, probably still growing at that point, as well, going in and out of Carrie's mad wet vagina. I like to pleasure women and I did Carrie that night. She got off a few times and I finally took off the light saber gear, washed my cock, and Carrie was nice enough to get me off orally. Whew...it didn't feel like I broke my Cock Saber, but I suppose all of my teasing Carrie had my penis PSI (pressure) just building up. When I came in her mouth and she continued like a Great Princess Lay-Ya sucking everything out of me. I rolled over and we both starting cracking up again like uncontrollably for longer than you would think with this being our encore of laughter.
Well, that's my funny story, you all. It's true and almost truly stupid. Nonetheless, it all worked out that night. Carrie and I both got off quite nicely, along with getting a story to tell. The last time that we spoke was 18 years later and she confirmed that no other man had been so silly to perfection and completion as that night that we had so long ago.
My light saber can still fire up just fine, especially, for the right lady. How a Light Saber can have such an affinity for large lovely natural breasts on a lovely lady..is, well, quite explainable. This Jedi loves large natural breasts and is willing to use "The Force" if needed. By that I do not mean actual physical force, but rather...WTF? I would play a Jedi again for the right lady. Want to be my Princess Lay-Ya? Well, just contact me and we can discuss such.
M. Winston ThighWalker
