Last Call for ‘Sleazyjet’ Flight Number 69 - Your Guide to Getting Down and Dirty in the Sky

12:14 pm Tuesday, 15^th August, 2017

SiteAdminChaz

Let's face it: flying sucks. Every year security gets tighter, meaning bigger queues, more random searches and now the added annoyance of having to check bags containing life-threatening substances like toothpaste and aftershave. Just when you learn how to pack a weekend’s worth of essentials into a single carry-on bag, they force you to wait at the baggage carousel with the rest of the weary travellers. But don’t fret—not every luxury has been taken away from you. You may not be able to take the rest of your beer, purchased at a ridiculous price from the departure lounge bar, onboard with you but, my oh my, you can still give it from behind in the bathroom. That’s right: flying the friendly skies and throwing some sexy time into the mix is still a possibility.

Some think the infamous mile-high club is an urban myth or an unattainable feat, but I’m here to tell you that not only is it alive and thriving, it’s currently inducting new members—and it’s about time you pledged.

The dip in atmospheric pressure is said to increase orgasmic intensity. The higher you fly, the less oxygen is in the air (you get mild hypoxia), which many believe leads to a better orgasm. Another, very simple explanation, is that the plane’s vibrations heighten arousal.

So, if you’re ready to indulge in the mile-high experience, there are a few things to keep in mind. Achieving a cheeky shag at an altitude of no less than 5,280 ft (a mile high above the earth) is no easy feat. Here are some suggestions on how to qualify for that club membership:

First Class Nookie

If you can, fly first class. For one, the seats are larger, and if you decide to make the event more discreet, the bathrooms are also larger, not to mention generally cleaner because fewer people have access to them.

Undercover

Fly the red eye or overseas flights where a lot of other passengers will be sleeping and the plane is generally kept dark.

Be Prepared

Bring a blanket or pillow if you don’t think what the plane provides will be enough. Wear easily assessable clothing. Women, wear a skirt with no panties and a loose or low-cut shirt he can easily slip his hands into. Men, leave the belt in the suitcase and wear your jeans with the zipper—buttons take too long.

Preheat the Oven

Most important, if you’re planning it, remember that foreplay can start the minute you check in. That means eye contact, flirting and gentle touches to get your partner in the mood. Even the planning can be foreplay.

Make Your Move

The drinks trolley scooting past is your cue to move, move, move people! The Flight attendants are busy serving beverages and blocking the aisles which gives you the perfect opportunity to leg it to the bathroom for some refreshment of a different kind. Well, they do say movement helps the circulation!

Schedule a Shag With Altitude

Feeling shy? To spare the embarrassment for those who aren't quite daring enough to make their way to the lavatory on a red-eye or transatlantic flight, mile high operations have been cropping up all over the globe, offering couples the chance to climb aboard a custom-outfitted aircraft for their aerial pleasures.


And remember — first rule of Mile High Club is tell EVERYONE about Mile High Club! Good Luck, and we hope you enjoy your flight! Are you a member of the Mile High Club? Has it always been a fantasy of yours. Share with us in the comments.

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