Wife
As a submissive in a relationship that has been ongoing for more than a decade I have received both pain as a punishment and as part of a pleasurable experience. While in general terms, a painful act is, as expected, painful no matter what the reason behind it is, the mental feeling is very different.
When I am being punished I have obviously done something wrong that needs to be corrected. This alone causes me mental anguish before the punishment has even begun as I hate to disappoint Husband. Husband generally uses this to his advantage and does not dish out instant punishment when I have behaved badly but instead waits until I have had time to think about how I have disappointed him. While I don’t get any enjoyment from being punished I do feel better afterwards as I have made up for my bad behaviour and can move on and learn not to do “it” again.
Pain as part of a pleasurable experience is different mainly due to the build up before hand. As I have already mentioned if I am being punished I am already punishing myself in my head for disappointing Husband. However painful acts for pleasure have no mental anguish attached to them. The other big difference is the preparation beforehand. If I am to undertake a painful act, for the sole purpose of increasing the pleasure level for Husband and myself, then Husband would ensure that we talked about it first and that we were both aroused. When I am horny the line between pain and pleasure is far thinner. Obviously if the pain was for the sake of punishment, having time to become aroused first would be neither appropriate nor allowed.
Having discussed the difference between before the act and during we now come to after. As I have already stated, after being punished I do feel a huge sense of relief, not only because I have been able to pay for my bad behaviour but also because Husband generally refuses to let me touch him when I have disappointed him until I have been suitably punished and I hate not being able to pleasure him. Other than that my feelings on painful acts after the event are quite similar. I enjoy having “secret bruises” that no one else can see but I know are there and they remind me of my dedication and submission to Husband.
My hope for the future is that all future “painful acts” are carried out purely for the pursuit of pleasure and that those designed for punishment are not required.
