Its hard to be in a new space of life. A space that is fairly unfamiliar. A space that although widely accepted, is still sort of taboo especially amongst your inner circle. You recognize the acceptance.. but not if it were you. I find myself at this place. Unfamiliar, uncharted territory. Apparently as a mother, I am not supposed to feel like this. I am not supposed to have this yearning, this need, this angst, this want. I have always wanted to explore a womans body. As a female myself, I know first hand the wonders of a "womans work", but actually want to explore the sensual side of things has always been a foreign concept. What if someone finds out what's inside my head? What if I go to meet someone and its someone I know? What if someone recognizes me online and blabs to everyone!? See.. sheer fear. It's that fear that has been a driving force and catalyst for why I have denied myself everytime I am close to ending this curiosity and finally exploring this appetite that has been so hard to satisfy.
