Come get sexy with our comedy captions blog competition

1.  Will i ever be able to get that glow in the dark lipstick off my dipstick
2.  I would like to be a banana thats peeled off and eaten like this
3   i never knew doggy style could be this much fun
4.  Pizza and boob snack time
5.  I knew i should never have gotten
 that piercing
6.  Dont you just hate it that Father Xmas only cums once a year

1 hi honey I’m home 2 knicker Bocker glory 3 let him lead the way 4 wanna price of me 5 he let me down again 6 let me put some light on it

Can I play with the faries please Santa

1.Surprise!  Her cock is bigger than yours
2. Mmmm.banana cream pie
3.She's got him Pegged!
4.Double cheese fits
5.When I got these dolls or a blow job this is not what I had in mind
6.Mrs Claus really likes lighting up the elves

Surprise finger in the butt.
Daily dose of potassium before the main course. 
Mistress said heal.
Can't say no to pizza an tittie's.
Gotta blow her before she will blow me.
Mrs. Clause never looked so good.

1) surprise in the bedsheet, when someone is below the belt inside 2) push it in and eat the rest 3) mens are born dog, ready to hump in all the bumps. And love to lick 👅 with slurp 4) best way to by keeping iton the tummy when its mild hot and eat it and lick 👅 it clean the rest5) no demands no drama only fuck is the main moto6) dark night with full of glitter lights all in one room keeping eye on every person in the room 💓 bang bang bang fuck it till your last drop of cum 😘 

1. The double sex machine definitely added to jack and jills sex life.
2. When bob was told that clairs pussy was very fruity he got morw than he bargained for.
3.when helen saw the satae of craigs arse before thwir plannes pegfing session she had to hold him off with a barge pole until he was hosed down.
4. You wanna pizza me?
5. Dave never did gwt the meaning behind the term blowjob.
6. Maybe tantra waznt the best idea for outside at christmas, some fucker thought we were a statue and covered us in bloody fairy lights, added an extra charge to the session though.

1. I had no idea it would feel THAT good! 2. The best banana is a skined one. 3. Whoa my slut WHOA!! 

4. Pizza tits are much better than pizza face. 5. Blowing this much really blows! 6. I’ve been naughty Mrs Claus

Thanks for putting so much  effort into coming up with his stuff it makes the site do much more than just a note 

1 AAAHHHHHH That bedroom fitter has put the mirror on the ceiling instead of the wardrobe door !
2 COR she obviously likes BIG BANANA'S !!! Yum Yum !!!
3 WHOA there BOY, i've not finished yet !
4 I'd like a lICKERTY SPLIT please XX
5 Now thats what i call a PROPER BLOWJOB !
6 Give me my toys santa !!!

1  once more time 2 8 Times and you still one more 3  stay down doggy 4  pizzas never tasted as good 5  you are a hard one to please I’m puff 6  come closer want to stick my tongue in 

1. First time under a mirrored ceiling
2. Loving the forbidden fruit
3. This is how I walk MY DOG
4. Eat me. Seriously.
5. All this for a Damn date???
6. All tied up and lit up....

1. When you realize you like the same porn 2.when he tries to show you how to give a sloppy toppy but he first has to get scrubbed through on sucking dick 3. The one time he lets you take charge and so you gotta show him who’s boss 4. When you’re finally home alone and your single ass buys pizza when you’re horny 5.when she leaves after two hours of making out and you gotta let the nut out 6. When You want to light up his world *literally*

1) ONS oops sexy feeling
2) munching u r pussy output 8th wonder on earth
3) Submissive dog. See where u landed
4) Want melons to suck or Pizza to eat decide.
5) Need some excitement
6) Conventional way to lick

#1 the electric blanket has a short in it
#2 the garden of eating
#3 the alt version of Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven
#4 I don't think it's free delivery
#5 Donald Trump couldn't think of anything else but it does fit
#6 Light my fire

1. Is that the cat playing with the vibrator remote control?
2.  Got to keep telling potassium level up!
3. Whoa big boy, mamma wants to go for a ride. 
4. The pepperoni or the vegetarian, or just eat all of it!
5. It's faster if I use my penis pump, but you got to blow the lady the right way. 
6. Ok Santa, let's hear your 'ho ho ho' while I jingle your bells!

1. Your not my wife, your not my son; 2. Banana Rama; 3. Wow Tiger you still got your panties on!; 4. I said Pasties not pizza!; 5. It didn't say that it deflates with a little prick; 6. Rain drops keep falling on my head..." 

1. Too much of cum in bed
2.I'm tasting the banana, who wants my banana?
3. Move faster dom, let's finish the ride and have a foot lick
4.Pizaa or my boob, which one tou want?
5. I don't want to do this. But can't control until next day
6. see my cunt in light

1. O.M.G
2. My pushy tasty than your banana.
3. Come on baby come on.
4. Pizza or my boobs.
5. Too horney immediately need a pushy...
6. You are blind to see my sexy lights...

1. It feels great just your hands there honey 2. banana is what you need to feed on banana is your diet on bed 3. This is where the test begins how much you can take 4. you come for the pizza and you will get my tits 5. its where you have taken me to ecstasy n i'm cumming 6. i am turned on as you touch my button all is lite ....all is glowing !!!

1- Hah, gotcha, my name's Davina and I was a man!!
2- If you peel them first you can fit more in!!
3- Sub my arse, I'm gonna make this bitch work!
4- Hmmm, an edible bikini, now there's an idea.
5- When I said I wanted a Thai bride, I didn't mean 'Made in Taiwan!!'
6- I'm gonna fuck the fairy lights out of you!!

1suprise I've got one as well 2 New way to get men to eat fruit 3 you will go to the grooming parlor 4 this isn't what I meant when I said eat me 5 I'll show them they said of never get a date 6 fairy lights merry Xmas

1What the hell is that on the ceiling? 2 Your supposed to be eating my pussy not all the bananas 3 Wow boy your not fully stripped for action yet 4 Don't take the pizza out of me 5 Doll I've gotta stop I'm outa breath 6 I never realized Christmas decorations could be this much fun 

1. What get happen?2. Got to eat bananas before the you eat the good stuff. 3. I need my whip for you boy! 4. Hungry. 5 blow me. 6. Eat the light.

1. That wasn’t lube, it was Deep Heat ! 2. This looks like we are going to have a bunch of fun 3. Whoa boy whoa . 4. Come get a “pizza” me ! 5. This is not what I meant when I asked for a blow job ! 6. Come light me up babe 

1)if it wasn't me and it wasn't her,who else is in the bed...2)hmmm bananas,she says go on you try it,see how it feels too deep throat it,ok ok I'll aahh..3)I had the choice of a dog or a cat,shit should of choose the pussy cat..4)play I blind fold game , yeah ,close my eyes and eat the pizzas off you,not off Bob ,5) it's not midnight yet,you can't change back,has daylight savings finished??6)being a hot Santa,for a show,dent think it'll be in a nursing home,getting cold chill now...

1. Was there always a hole in the roof?
2. When you said we were going to do it like monkeys, I had no idea.
3. Come.
4. Only two more slices 'til I get the prize.
5. Oh, hi honey.  This is Tina, she's a friend from work.  Yeah, she was really deflated after the Cavs lost.
6. It's Mrs. Claus's turn to ride the sleigh.

1. when you wake up naked in bed with someone you don't know and don't remember what happened or how you got there! 😍 2.  eating and wearing bananas around your genital area will make you more attractive! 3. the man is thinking 'why am i doing this and how did i get myself into this, i better go to AA for my drinking problems'! the girl is having a blast! 4. if you sleep with me i will buy you a free pizza with your choice of toppings but you have to please me! 5. when you work too much and you don't have time to date this is your last and only option as boring as it is! 6. who needs a christmas tree when you have me! 
💕💕💕😍😍💕😍

#4- I bet she is a nice pizza ass

#5 it was my turn to give the girlfriend a blow job

2# Johnny devoured the fruit of her loins 

#4 she was my hot and spicy pizza the action

#5 Knew i should have bought punture repair kit

#2 wow like picking candy from a bush

#6 I bought myself the best Christmas present this year ‘Ho Ho Ho’

#1 wow finally i climax whope i mad her climax

# 4 anyone for pizza and Milk

# wo there boy not finished with you yet

#6 there is light at the end of my tunel

1. When you realise your gay

2. I prefer the real thing girl nom nom

3. hang on this job interview just turned sideways

4. THats not how you eat pizza

5. Should have swiped left

6. It’s better with lights out 

1. I think I just found your missing vibrator.
2. So, according to what I was taught in sex ed, I should put a condom on each of these, right?
3. Jenny realised entering Brad in the husky race was a tactical error.
4. No, no, no, I said I wanted a *piece* of *ass*!
5. What do you mean, "you're doing it wrong"? This is a blowjob, right?
6. "No Jenny, I said deck the *halls*..."

1. that feeling of having ass likced for the first time 2. banana for scale 3. this isn't whats supposed to happen to Thor! 4. Pizza titties 🙂  5. No blow my front, not my back!  6. Xmas decorating went horribly wrong or horribly right!

1) log flume splashdown 2) One of your 5 a day 3) That escalated quickly 4) Still doesn't work with pineapple 5) Let my missus down again 6) Santa' helper

1. I really thought you were my wife!
2. For his sake i hope there isn't i real penis dressed up as a banana in there!
3. Down boy! Not that boy!
4. New eddable bikinis featuring summer of 201819
5. Damn ribbed condoms!
6. New life like christmas tree!

1. Fuck! That's not your dick ... it's moving! 2. I never waste food. 3. When I says whoa ... I mean whoa! 4. Do you like nipples on your pizza? 5. Oh, hello dear ... I thought you had gone. 6. Light me up!

1. That moment when you get caught fucking by your mum. And she joins in.
2. The government has experienced an overwhelming response to its new "Get your 5 a day" healthy eating campaign.
3. "When I heard my friends called you 'The Horse', I'd hoped it was for a different reason..."
4."You want a pizza my pie? Come stuff my crust, and its okay if you eat with your fingers."5. "This wasn't the kind of blowjob I had in mind..."
6. "Fancy a little light bondage?"

1: E-stim with a kickstart is NOT recommended for beginners
2: You stuff it, I'll eat it! 
3: Damn, girl, where'd you get your license? Learn how to drive!
4: Come again on the pizza!
5: Will I be able to use this after two hours of hyper-ventilating? 
6: Uh, these lights are UL-listed, right?

1. 'Do you like Oral?..They didn't just say YES.. 2. 'Eat them all'..as mom said Eat Organic. 3. I never guessed this..when she said 'She likes Doggy' 4.Where is my fourth slice.. ohh it's ..down below..never mind..I will start head on...5.Daddy said 'no balloons' so I'm taking his..6.Nothing
. like All the lights in right places..