TV Shows

Big Brother? What the fuck is it all about? 14 total fuck ups caged in a prefab with CCTV and we watch them. The contestants are the sort of freaks Victorians used to pay to go and point at.
So.......I have some ideas for TV shows.
Cuntdown - Carol Vorderman keeps her job and contestants have to pick 8 letters and spell swear words. Then they pick numbers and have to use all of them in a calculation that always equals 69.
XXX Factor - Members of the public as budding porn stars have to perform sex acts in front of Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, Danni Minogue and Sharon Osbourne. The winners go through to boot camp to get training from professional porn stars and the categories are; male, female, lesbian and groups.
Anal or No Anal - Noel Edmonds hosts a contestant eliminating boxes with certain sex acts written inside with the star prize being an orgy with 10 people of their choice and the booby prize being a marrow rammed up their arse.
Strictly Cum Dancing - Celebrities pair up with porn stars and have sex in front of the judges who judge on artistic impression, difficulty of position and energy.
The F Word - Gordon Ramsay teaches people how to swear properly while they cook.
The Weakest Hoop - Anne Robinson goes round contestants who have to shove something up their arse until one of them can't fit anymore in and something falls out. 'You have the weakest hoop - goodbye'
Loose Women - Coleen Nolan, Jane MacDonald and a few others sit around and get fisted to show how loose they are.
The Antiques Roadshow - Hugh Scully and a host of medical experts watch as the over 60's turn up and shag each other and find out if their performance is worth anything.
Golden Balls - Does exactly what it says on the tin. Contestants have to sit and crack one off and the one who produces the biggest cum shot wins.

And on the Dona Channel there's no licence fee and only funny adverts, not those shite aftershave or washing powder ones.

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