I have a friend called Violet who keeps me sane when I'm on heat - like just now. I bought her in a shop in a back alley in Whitechapel many years ago, and even then she cost about £40. She was state of the art at the time; made of silicon for that perfect fit. She also doubles as a dilator, so it's a win-win for yours truly, and she's much more comfortable than those perspex rod things they give you after the op - almost like the real thing!
I'm back to thinking about 'S' again; I miss him with his cute pixie face - he was just too much of a free spirit for me though, especially after he just buggered off hill-walking for a fortnight and never told me he was going! Is he the standard I gauge his successors by? Well, he was really cute in my little black dress! Poor Violet is no match for him...