Approaching five months being in a real relationship, after more than seven years of being single (and being married for more than a decade prior to that), while at the same time, having been on this site for almost two years, brings me these realizations:
Couples (like us) who meet through a site such as this one evolve from just being sexual partners. The further into the future you envision being together, the more you focus on other aspects in your lives besides the need to have sex.
Real life can sometimes be at odds with the hookup/swinging lifestyle. Sometimes it differs in how the two of you enjoy sex. Alone as a couple is one thing, playing with another couple is another. Personally, I don't know which is more frustrating.
There is more to sex than just physical intercourse. There is teasing and meaningful touching, those little things that make make you smile and put you in a great mood all day. Sometimes, the teasing and touching is all there is.
Enthusiasm for sex fluctuates. There are obstacles such as mood swings, fatigue, lack of sleep, lack of privacy. Regardless, my appetite for action remains unchanged.
Sex can happen anytime, really, but ONLY IF it were just as easy as ordering takeout food. Otherwise, I'd be able to enjoy my meat dish on warm buns smothered with my favorite sauce and in multiple servings. But this is not the case.
The pursuit of lasting love and sexual satisfaction are two different things. While the latter is always easier to attain, doing so with the same partner that you love oh-so-madly is a whole new ballgame entirely.
For many couples, swinging provides the spice to maintain a satisfying sex life, yet I personally think it's possible to explore beyond this option. I don't want us to play with just anyone, as I am particular with a certain kind of play (NO to vanilla), especially now that I just happen to appreciate exclusivity more and more. Maybe it's what's needed at the moment.
In the meantime, our relationship will go back to a long distance setup for the next few months. There's a whole new element of intimacy that we can explore. Adventures will have to wait, whatever shape or form they would be.
And how to keep my sanity? I have a few understanding friends, and that is something that I am grateful for.
