It takes most of us a lot of time before we get to know our current partners and then become intimate with them in bed. So why the heck do we feel it's going to be so easy to score a sex date with another couple in a matter of... a couple of hours?
To begin, it pays to be straightforward right from the start about we like to have fun when we meet a couple for the first time.
I guess before we even talk about the details about who-does-what-to-whom, it's good to understand about personality differences and how they reflect in the way we behave through chat.
Some folks are adaptable and find it easy to get along with anyone. They are most likely to be laid back during the actual meet. On the other hand, others are overly cautious and sensitive even to humorous banter. They are likely to be walk out the door in a hurry when they get slightly offended.
But for sure, we all get turned off by people who are pushy, presumptuous, judgemental, fickle-minded, narrow-minded and even brutish since this breaks any chance of establishing mutual misunderstanding and consensus.
So go tell the alpha male to howl at the moon if they don't show some respect. Sometimes, it takes more than manners and education to find out if someone is going to be easy to approach in an online exchange. It also requires a substantial amount of experience in this lifestyle to make the initial exchange smooth and comfortable for anyone. It's easy to forget, however, that the purpose of the initial exchange is to establish camaraderie and to set some short term goals regarding the first meet. So what have my guy and I learned so far?
Get all parties present in the group chat, to get a feel of the depth of the other couple's relationship and their experience in the lifestyle, what they expect to achieve in the meet, some likes and dislikes - - - all the while being sensitive to the way they interact and react and whether there is a cue to move forward. Oh, to add, avoid ANY side personal messaging with the other party once a group chat is already established. It's unfortunate that if a guy does this gesture, it might make the other guy suspicious that there might be something underhanded being planned. Can't blame the men if they think someone is out to steal their women, can they? Yes, we all think our partners are the best. Something else also learned here is that it doesn't help to expound on certain sexual experiences at this point as this might make the other party feel averse towards them. Take for instance, bdsm experience. As it is, there are so many wrong notions about it, that's it's best to park this discussion for another day should they wish to explore this. Last, be prepared to share general rules. It helps to settle for the initial meet to be sort of vanilla, even if, as a couple, you are downright wild and kink-crazy. Play safe. So keep the initial convo to the point, friendly, but business-like. It's not something easy to manage for some people, who might need to strike a balance between being engaging and being decisive about setting up the date.Above all Respect and Patience.
