know what you're asking for
a lot of my blogs are for the neophytes, not for the common practitioners of bdsm. this is another one.
Know what you're asking for. 'Rough sex' doesn't mean a little ass patting and being taken. It means ROUGH sex, which can be quite rough, including things like violent sex, hard anal or oral and a host of other things that you might not be ready for. I recently had someone contact me, asking for rough sex, and then freaking out when she got it. and I have been called a soft dom many times, and my friends think I'm pretty mild. I also got contacted by a woman that said she wanted "whipped all over my body" I just told her that a whipping was no joke, but I'm sure she'll find someone that will do it. Knowing what you're asking for is NECESSARY. Don't say something because you read about it and got wet and hot, be honest and even if the story you read was pretty hot, it doesn't mean the reality will be for you. Just tell the prospective partner that you'd like to try it, and be sure that he knows you're new to that particular kink. It will prevent problems in the future, both for you and the Dom. Because BD is not SM, and a spanking or flogging is not a whipping.
