I wrote the first part over a year ago a piece that mentions my introduction to BDSM.
One can find plenty of references to this unorthodox relationship. The simple curiosity that started with books and movies, led me to meeting a Dom who I had casually-arranged meetings with, as well as an intense online encounter (for academic purposes) with a Master who wanted me to be the Mistress of his poly house in Indonesia.
You can try anything from a wide range of kinky games from sensual to s.adistic all you want, but here are some of the things I understood from the brief experience:
As for my sexual style, I am in the middle of both vanilla and BDSM. I crave to submit. The desire to enjoy the pleasurable kinks makes me want to go further to explore, but it can't be done with anyone who claims they just know something about it, but not its rules.
I met and played with one member here who is a submissive, while he was on business trip here in Manila. It was touching in many ways. You see, there exists a bond among those who understand these cravings. Particularly in that, the role we play (top or bottom) can be the opposite of how we are in the real world, and the need is there to find someone who can play the complementing part.
My being here goes beyond hooking up. Been trying to find that one other person (who, unlike my Dom, would be exclusive to me). I did not want to waste time in going someplace else other than this site (who knows the kind of crazies one might find there). To no avail. I met a couple of other members who, as dominating as they presented themselves to be, actually wanted to submit to my domination. Ironic, no? Playing the switch can be wonderfully interesting and sometimes baffling as being bisexual, I suppose. In BDSM, by the way, being bisexual gives more room to explore. What do I need from such a person if I find him? His control, his concern and care, and his love and devotion. A BDSM partnership can be intensely loving as it cultivates trust and open, honest communication. Rules cannot be ignored if safety is to be ensured and it does not lead to abuse. I like my wildness to be let loose and yet be tamed, but most of all, I want to be truly desired, possessed, cherished, and valued. Passion comes in when both partners feed off of each other's longings. As I submit, I can only focus on wanting to please this person, body, mind, and soul. Sounds like a mad fantasy? It can be. After all, in this community, the real, committed relationship between partners counts among the most desired fantasies.
