I am a BDSM virgin. I have no actual experience in this area..
but i do find it an intriguing subject.
During the course of my sexual relationships, I've noticed that I tend to be quite dominant during sex: taking the lead, deciding when to change positions, and just being in control of the general flow of things. It's actually not as selfish as it sounds.. because I have to be aware how my partner is behaving and responding. I have to know how to take cues.
Some years ago.. my long-term partner (when she was still interested in sex),suddenly switched roles on me: taking control, flipping me onto my back, pinning me down, jumping on top of me, and riding me with everything she had.. I loved it 🙂 It was unexpected, exciting and strangely liberating having no say or control.
I suspect that part of me is very submissive in the right situation. I've read quite a lot about BDSM, and I've looked at it online. What I found out, was that I don't like watching a man mistreat a woman (even though I know it's role-play). I do however get turned on seeing a woman mistreat a man.
Dominant women are hot: The outfits they wear, their demeanour, their way of talking, their behaviours. I have fantasised about being the toy of a dominatrix. Being restrained, slapped, spat on, my balls in her squeezing grip..
But as I say, I'm a BDSM virgin. I really know very little, about what that kind of relationship is truly like. I suspect to understand it, you have to experience it first hand.
If I'm ever lucky enough to meet the right woman.. I suspect I would be willing to find out for myself. I say 'right woman', because some of the dominatrix I seen online.. are, to be totally honest.. fricking scary ! One time I saw a Mistress wearing a strap-on that was bigger/thicker than my forearm ! I'd run for the hills if saw that coming my way.. lol
Then there's a question of etiquette in dom/sub relationships: How to behave as a dom, as a sub, how to to communicate with each other, what's expected of one another.. what will lead to both of you gaining satisfaction.. Trust in your partner is key I'd imagine. Like I said earlier.. with the right woman.. I'd be willing to give BDSM a try.
Personally, I don't think I'd ever be interested seeing a professional dominatrix, as her client. I'd much rather meet a woman who was just into BDSM; and with whom, I 'clicked', and could forge an on-going relationship. As I've said elsewhere.. relationships are important to me.
One thing I'm curious about, is being.. pegged. I know about prostate manipulation, and where the male g-spot is located (although I've never found mine lol). I imagine being pegged by a woman who knows how to use a strap-on, would be uniquely and explosively pleasurable.
I realise some men would never entertain the idea of being 'pegged'; probably associating it (wrongly imo) with homosexual sex. I don't see it that way. I see it as me getting fucked senseless by an insanely sexy woman. That makes me stiff just thinking about it 🙂
I'd be prepared to plead for it; to please my Mistress until she deemed fit to reward me.
There is another thing that I would love to have a woman do to me.. for me.. Something which a Mistress may be more agreeable doing, than a vanilla lover. It is another fetish of mine. Another I've never experienced, but so want to. I won't reveal here what it is.. but it does involve a sterile bodily fluid 😛
Going back to me generally taking a dominant position during sex, I do sometimes also fantasise about me being the dom and my lover, the sub. Nothing too heavy.. spanking her bottom a warm pink, some hair-pulling, a little nipple stretching, maybe stimulating her with a Hitachi to the point of approaching orgasm.. then denying her her climax (maybe several times over, before letting her go). You know, all that good, clean, wholesome BDSM fun.
Hmm.. that reference to nipple stretching just now, is making me think.. I do find when I experience a little pain at certain times, it intensifies my sexual pleasure. Like when I mastubate hard and fast.. I may be a little masochistic too ! I could be more sub than I suspect. With the right playmate, who knows what else we may find out about ourselves and each other. Now.. where did I put that tube of lube 😉
