When the average man finds his wife is attracted to another man, he might have an urge to go punch that man in the face, or at least show some anger. But when his wife is sexually attracted to women, there’s no one to punch out – unless he wants to hit a girl and be considered abusive and violent. In fact , many men try to keep the marriage together. They fear the loss of their family, of their home , and a number try hard to make the marriage work. Many want to be supportive of wives who are questioning her sexuality. In some cases, their wives had sex with women before the marriage and told their husbands; and their husbands assumed that was behind them. A few men think having two women with whom to have sex might be fun. Some discover their wives already started a lesbian life that does not include them — causing great pain. Meanwhile, the declaration by many lesbian wives that the husband is their “best friend “is confusing, especially as the men’s efforts to keep the marriage going no longer work.
In a traumatic crisis like this, men have deep feelings and want to express them, especially when their own identity, integrity and belief system are shattered. Yet, they don’t have many places in which to share their grief, hurt and anger. If they dare tell someone, too often they are ridiculed by those who believe that having a lesbian wife must mean hot sex all the time, possibly spicing it up with a second woman. In truth, it’s not all that sexy for the guy, especially if he’s married to a lesbian. Instead, he experiences rejection, loneliness, and exclusion. Most husbands of lesbians feel a profound sense of failure as a husband or as a man. 🤗🤗🤗
