On Touching and Going

LindaQC

Everyone's DTF and NSA. This is a hook-up site for god's sakes. No one takes anyone seriously. Or so we think. I've met more than a dozen people here. And most of them I've forgotten. Either they were forgettable or horrible. I choose to erase bad memories from the limited memory of my brain.  But few have stood out. 

One breeds dogs. All I know is a first name. He drove by at my request for several months. He told me "I'm afraid I might fall for you" and I said "Enjoy the ride." I snuck him into my house several times, my housemates have caught us. We've awkwardly laughed it out. He's given me deep out of body orgasms. And also moments of tenderness. My favorite moment was when he bought me a siopao 'coz he said I looked like I needed it. Most memorable siopao I've had. He stopped getting in touch. I erased his number. Now I've no idea where he is. I've not remembrances of him, sometimes I wonder if I imagined him and made everything up. 

The other is at sea. He's dreamboat android. Like those beautiful robot gigolos in the movie AI. Programmed with many features to please, but needs excruciatingly detailed instructions in empathy. He's not one to read between the lines,  and I know I can't put up with loving an AI. He's away at sea, and I've no expectation to see him ever again in my life. I ought to forget him, but so far, no one has burned into my imagination much like he has. Maybe it's because he's a beautiful dream. Best imagined. My memories of him feel so frustrating, short lived. But the fantasy lives we've lived in my mind help me sleep at night. 

While we are in this universe of touch and go, what do we do with the images that remain, the sensations that awaken in memory of a body far far a way? I tend to disembody them, cherish them as concepts and not as memories. But I wonder sometimes - am I a disembodied blur of feelings to someone else too?

While all of us want to get some d and v on this site, let's not forget - we are sharing bodies. Bodies that have seen, felt, dreamed, dealt with adversity, survived, thrived and lived diverse meaningful lives. We are well within our rights to touch briefly and just go. 
But with every touch, mean well. So that every time we go, heed that your physical body might have left, but your memory may (or may not) have its own life in the minds of those whose body you've shared. 

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