Once upon a time in a land far, far away lived a little chavette called Little Red Rockport Hoodie. She used to regularly visit her Grandmother and take round her pension after collecting it from the Post Office.
One day she decided to cut across the recreation ground and through the woods so she buy 10 Lambert and Butler and have a fag on the way there so she put on her Timberland boots, Bench cargo trousers, Burberry scarf and Red Rockport Hoodie and set off.
As she got to the middle of the woods and sparked up she heard foot steps behind her. She turned to find Paul Wolfman aka 'Wolfie' stood there. Wolfie was 17 and drove a 1.1 Vauxhall Nova but had parked up and followed her into the woods. Little Red Rockport Hoodie knew that Wolfie was dangerous and had a bad reputation. He already had 4 kids with different baby muvvers and was always shagging around. Only last week he had fingered Chantelle Benson at youth club and Keira Hicking had sucked his knob for two bottles of vodka ice.
Wolfie wore all black; Black Nike Airmax trainers, black Adidas trackie bottoms, a black Mackenzie hoodie and a black Lacoste baseball cap. He asked Red Rockport Hoodie for a fag and then as they smoked he asked where she was off to? She told him her Grandmothers so he asked if she fancied some White Lightening cider before she went. Red Rockport Hoodie said no then asked Wolfie if it was true about Chantelle Benson and Keira Hicking. Wolfie said it was sort of true but he didn't finger Chantelle, he had actually shagged her and that he would shag Red Rockport Hoodie cos he fancied her for ages. Red Rockport Hoodie said she had to get going and walked off.
Wolfie ran back to his car and wheel spinned it round MacDonalds car park before setting off to Red's grannie's house. When he got there he knocked on the door and when Red's grannie answered it he said there was a closing down sale at the Pound Stretcher shop and Red had sent him to tell her and was waiting there for her. Red's grannie got her coat and set off for the precinct then Wolfie broke in through the downstairs toilet window and waitied in the bedroom for Red Rockport Hoodie.
When Red got there she noticed the door was left unlocked so walked in. She shouted her grannie and Wolfie croaked from the bedroom 'In here love'.
Red walked into the bedroom to find Wolfie with his trackie bottoms pulled down wanking. She ran out of the house and Wolfie chased her. As she got to the woods she saw her best mates boyfriend Woody (Neil Wood) and his mates sniffing Evostik. She told him that Wolfie was trying to shag her so Woody and his mates waited for Wolfie to turn up then Woody gave Daniel his Sony Ericsson K800i so he could video them happy slapping Wolfie.
They gave Wolfie a good kicking and put the video on youtube then as a thank you Red Rockport Hoodie wanked them all off and they all promised not to tell anyone and all lived happily ever after.
try walking a mile in your enemies shoes....at the end of the day you have new shoes and a head start on him
