More blatantly stolen from elsewhere.....

11:40 pm Sunday, 29th May, 2016

eroticgoddess

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

----to see his flatmate.

C'mon all-----join in.



Comments

11:57 pm Sunday, 29th May, 2016 jamestttttt2015

Where are u

12:37 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 eroticgoddess

in my bedroom. Is this a trick question?

12:54 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 jamestttttt2015

Where u now

1:09 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 eroticgoddess

I think you're totally not getting the gist of the blog....ie--humor.

1:10 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 eroticgoddess

Then again...maybe you are, and this is your sense of it?

1:26 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 jamestttttt2015

Would u like to meet for fun

1:27 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 Snoopy72

Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."

1:29 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 Snoopy72

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

5:42 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 Skebbie

Lovely weather for the time of year. (yawn)

5:46 am Monday, 30th May, 2016 Fetch1

Where am I What am I doing ? What is the meaning of life ?...Frankly my dear,I don't give damn ! Neither should you James., what a free spirit lady like this does in her own time,is entirely her own business.
Quick joke.One lady to another " I hear that your divorce will be going through as soon as your husband's eyesight is better "

1:47 pm Monday, 30th May, 2016 Turquiose

There was a young monk from Siberia
Whose morals were very inferior
He did to a nun, what he shouldn't have done
And now she's a Mother Superior

4:11 pm Monday, 30th May, 2016 Fetch1

Turquiose. I had the misrotune to appear in the " Sound of Music once. ( typecast as a Nazi ) But for the life of me,I can't remember that verse. Do you happen to know if Julie Andrews ever recorded it ? xx

12:38 am Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 eroticgoddess

Skebbie the Humorless??? I wouldn't have guessed it.

12:53 am Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 Skebbie

No disrespect intended, EG, but the only humour I could muster on this occasion was a sort of ironic cackle when I recalled how rich and amusing the blogs on this site used to be.

10:14 am Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 eroticgoddess

Skeb--I completely agree with you, as I often do.

On this occasion, my brain was only capable of meandering into the funny side of things. I am in desperate need of a laugh these days, and reading most blogs these days don't come close (or even make me think, which would also be a welcome distraction).

As I have the day off work today, maybe I'll be able to stop and think a bit about something more worthy of posting.

12:31 pm Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 Skebbie

EG: As I've already said in a PM to a regular blogger today, I do intend to contribute further myself, but it will probably be something of a "valedictory" nature :-) After all, I still have more than half a year of VIP membership left, so I might as well stir it while I'm still active :-)

1:56 pm Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 Skebbie

Sally: I'm "liking" you simply because of what you've started on another thread. High time there was revolution in the air here :-)

7:54 pm Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 Snoopy72

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

7:57 pm Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 Snoopy72

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

10:33 pm Tuesday, 31st May, 2016 jamestttttt2015

Hi Sally u look hot

12:15 am Wednesday, 8th June, 2016 Snoopy72

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

7:33 am Wednesday, 8th June, 2016 Welcumdstraction

On my way home on Saturday, coming back from London, I got attacked by a couple of ruffians that pulled a knife on me..
Gis yer Fucking money yer c""t or I'll Fucking cut yer, one of them said
I was trapped in a life or death situation so I did the first thing that sprang to mind..... I turned around and tried to knock one out.
In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time for a wank but it could've been my last.

3:02 pm Wednesday, 8th June, 2016 Welcumdstraction

Hi open,
I guess there is always time for a crafty wank...;)

10:02 pm Wednesday, 8th June, 2016 eroticgoddess

What's the difference between Americans and Yogurt?

--In 300 years, the yogurt has developed a culture.

(NOW---DO i smack the teller of this one, or not?)

2:46 pm Thursday, 9th June, 2016 Skebbie

Polynesian culture goes back a bit further than 300 years :-)

9:39 am Friday, 10th June, 2016 Frenchy1972

I went for job interview yesterday at NHS Lothian it was a porters job I applied for in the circumcision ward... The wages weren't very good.. But you got to keep all the tips!!!

12:54 pm Friday, 10th June, 2016 Southamptondom

The doctor at the hospital diagnosed me as being an idiot - after a week I thought there had been an improvement so returned for a second opinion, only to be told there was no change by the carpark ticket machine.

9:52 pm Tuesday, 5th March, 2019 Tattooedman2017


I heard this one when i was in the army (80's), don't know who originally said it, but i found it amusing.

Jack and Jill wnet upi the jill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack came down, with half a crown,
And Jull got what she was after.

4:59 am Wednesday, 21st August, 2019 kevster388

Guy walks into a pub with his pet Giraffe.  '14pints of lager and a pint of bitter please barman'   they sat there drinking, 'same again '  after the next round the Giraffe fell to the floor....     The guy got up to walk out, the barman called out  ' Oi , you cant leave that lying there mate '       ' Its not a lion its a giraffe'  said the man..........................;  )

2:39 pm Wednesday, 9th October, 2019 myownjungleRenton

What’s the difference between a outlaw and a in-law?  Outlaws are wanted.

4:08 pm Monday, 24th February, 2020 nakedcleanersirelandcom

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

1:55 pm Friday, 3rd April, 2020 tartanb

What do you call a man walking in leaves?........Russel

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